1
00:00:01,013 --> 00:00:04,414
<i>Now the story of a wealthy family
who lost everything...</i>

2
00:00:04,516 --> 00:00:06,507
<i>and the one son
who had no choice...</i>

3
00:00:06,618 --> 00:00:08,609
<i>but to keep them all together.</i>

4
00:00:14,159 --> 00:00:15,854
<i>It's Arrested Development.</i>

5
00:00:19,231 --> 00:00:22,132
<i>Michael Bluth
had just been stunned to discover...</i>

6
00:00:22,234 --> 00:00:26,500
<i>that a contract his company was
counting on was being cut back.</i>

7
00:00:26,605 --> 00:00:30,405
<i>You initially told us to design and build
22 homes. Now you're saying 18.</i>

8
00:00:30,509 --> 00:00:32,272
That doesn't give us enough
capital to complete the job.

9
00:00:32,377 --> 00:00:34,811
And we've already got the blueprints
drawn up and everything.

10
00:00:34,913 --> 00:00:37,575
<i>Well, that part wasn't true.
But they would've.</i>

11
00:00:37,682 --> 00:00:40,048
That was a very important phone call.

12
00:00:40,152 --> 00:00:43,918
I don't have much time, Michael. Tobias is
about to walk in here any minute asking for a job.

13
00:00:44,022 --> 00:00:45,922
I need you to hire him.

14
00:00:46,024 --> 00:00:48,822
- Hi. I'm sor-
- Look, it isn't my idea, it's his.

15
00:00:48,927 --> 00:00:51,088
But I need a break
from Mrs. Featherbottom.

16
00:00:51,196 --> 00:00:55,292
<i>Since moving out, Tobias had
been pretending to be a British housekeeper...</i>

17
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:58,096
<i>as a way to be close to his family.</i>

18
00:00:58,203 --> 00:01:01,764
<i>However, his desire to now be discovered
as himself was becoming bothersome.</i>

19
00:01:01,873 --> 00:01:05,468
<i>Can't you just tell him you know
that he's Mrs. Featherbottom?</i>

20
00:01:05,577 --> 00:01:07,511
No. She's the only one
who can hand wash my delicates.

21
00:01:07,612 --> 00:01:09,512
Yeah, the real Tobias
wouldn't do that.

22
00:01:09,614 --> 00:01:12,378
- Wouldn't do what?
- Be Michael's assistant.

23
00:01:12,484 --> 00:01:15,510
Well, that's what I came
down here to ask about.

24
00:01:15,620 --> 00:01:17,850
<i>I think you'll find me
more than qualified.</i>

25
00:01:17,956 --> 00:01:20,652
It's really not that simple.
Uh, you'd have to submit a résumé.

26
00:01:20,759 --> 00:01:23,728
Booyah!

27
00:01:23,829 --> 00:01:26,297
<i>- Wow. Gobias Industries.
- Gobias.</i>

28
00:01:26,398 --> 00:01:28,866
- Right. I remember, yeah.
- As in "Go buy us a cup of-"

29
00:01:28,967 --> 00:01:30,901
It looks like you might be
a little too qualified.

30
00:01:31,002 --> 00:01:36,531
Hang on. Why don't you let your new
assistant take all this down?

31
00:01:36,641 --> 00:01:38,165
<i>Wow, you are gung ho.</i>

32
00:01:38,276 --> 00:01:41,734
You're getting a new assistant?
Is this because the order was cut back?

33
00:01:41,847 --> 00:01:44,407
No. But if you are concerned
about keeping your job...

34
00:01:44,516 --> 00:01:46,347
focus on keeping
unwanted visitors out of my office.

35
00:01:46,451 --> 00:01:50,478
I have rabies, Michael. You know that.
Today was day four of my shots.

36
00:01:50,589 --> 00:01:52,648
<i>Starla had been bitten by...</i>

37
00:01:52,757 --> 00:01:54,952
<i>a well-known music producer's guard dog.</i>

38
00:01:57,762 --> 00:01:59,992
Michael, Starla told us
about the cutback.

39
00:02:00,098 --> 00:02:02,692
You know, a lot of our overhead
is tied up in the fact...

40
00:02:02,801 --> 00:02:04,666
we are on the top floor
of a very expensive building.

41
00:02:04,769 --> 00:02:07,761
- If we move just one floor lower-
- Ted, everything's fine.

42
00:02:07,873 --> 00:02:10,433
I got it all under control,
and nobody needs to move.

43
00:02:10,542 --> 00:02:13,170
- I'm sorry. Ted, is it?
- Yes.

44
00:02:13,278 --> 00:02:15,041
Ted. Did Ted make an appointment?

45
00:02:15,147 --> 00:02:17,172
<i>- No, I just work down the hall and-
- No.</i>

46
00:02:17,282 --> 00:02:20,012
Well, then, Ted can get
the hell out of this office!

47
00:02:20,118 --> 00:02:23,918
- I'm talking-
- You get the hell out!

48
00:02:24,022 --> 00:02:27,048
<i>- And that's how you keep out unwanted visitors.
- Thank you.</i>

49
00:02:27,159 --> 00:02:30,322
<i>Although, if I may, let me
take off my assistant skirt...</i>

50
00:02:30,428 --> 00:02:36,298
<i>and put on my Barbra Streisand in The Prince
of Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit.</i>

51
00:02:36,401 --> 00:02:39,165
- What?
- The reason that you can't accept my help...

52
00:02:39,271 --> 00:02:42,138
is the same reason you can't
hear that gentleman's idea-

53
00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:45,767
because you have to be in
total control of everything.

54
00:02:45,877 --> 00:02:48,744
And it's going to make
you sick if you can't let go.

55
00:02:48,847 --> 00:02:51,145
- Hey, I'm fine.
- Oh?

56
00:02:51,249 --> 00:02:54,218
<i>Oh! Ooh!
- See? He's right.
You've got a control problem.</i>

57
00:02:54,319 --> 00:02:57,447
<i>But I know this Eastern medicine store,
Ancient Chinese Secret.</i>

58
00:02:57,556 --> 00:02:59,888
Ancient Chinese Secret, huh?

59
00:02:59,991 --> 00:03:02,983
- I sent Gob there for his migraines.
- It's just a cramp. I'm fine.

60
00:03:03,094 --> 00:03:06,757
<i>In fact, Gob was at Ancient
Chinese Secret at that moment...</i>

61
00:03:06,865 --> 00:03:11,529
<i>- but not for a migraine.
- Yeah, I need a tea to give my dingle less tingle.</i>

62
00:03:12,671 --> 00:03:14,764
Me quick, want slow.
Wait, that's Indian.

63
00:03:14,873 --> 00:03:19,071
Tea for dong.

64
00:03:19,177 --> 00:03:23,238
- Sweet blade.
- It's the Sword of Destiny. It's full of ancient magic.

65
00:03:23,348 --> 00:03:25,646
Oh, yeah?
You into magic?

66
00:03:27,852 --> 00:03:29,820
Still, where'd the lighter fluid come from?

67
00:03:29,921 --> 00:03:32,822
- So, is it for sale? I could use it in my act.
- Maybe.

68
00:03:32,924 --> 00:03:35,825
Sword of Destiny hundreds of years old.

69
00:03:35,927 --> 00:03:38,589
Come with ancient story
of warning and-

70
00:03:38,697 --> 00:03:41,825
Yeah, I make up my own patter.
Just ring it up with the dong tea.

71
00:03:41,933 --> 00:03:43,833
<i>And Gob caught up with Michael.</i>

72
00:03:43,935 --> 00:03:49,271
- Michael. Been lookin' for you.
- Looks like you're looking for dragons,
in the future.

73
00:03:49,374 --> 00:03:51,934
I wouldn't mock
the Sword of Destiny, Michael.

74
00:03:52,043 --> 00:03:54,341
Careful with that, Gob.

75
00:03:54,446 --> 00:03:56,311
- Bleeding?
- Nope.

76
00:03:56,414 --> 00:03:59,679
Yeah, that's blood.
It'll get better before the show.

77
00:03:59,784 --> 00:04:01,479
That's what I need you for, Michael.

78
00:04:01,586 --> 00:04:03,520
I can't perform my illusion
at the Gothic Castle...

79
00:04:03,622 --> 00:04:05,715
because I've been banned
from the Magicians' Alliance.

80
00:04:05,824 --> 00:04:10,124
I need you to register as the magician,
and I'm the lowly assistant.

81
00:04:10,228 --> 00:04:13,994
Then we get on the stage,
and you ram the Sword of Destiny into my belly.

82
00:04:14,099 --> 00:04:16,897
- What do you think?
- Really picked up steam there
at the end, but I can't.

83
00:04:17,002 --> 00:04:20,267
I've gotta teach George Michael how to drive.
And then I gotta get right back here, because-

84
00:04:20,372 --> 00:04:22,067
Michael, if I make this comeback...

85
00:04:22,173 --> 00:04:24,300
I'll buy you 100 George Michaels
you can teach to drive!

86
00:04:24,409 --> 00:04:27,310
- You're losing blood, aren't you?
- Probably. My socks are wet.

87
00:04:27,412 --> 00:04:29,312
Sorry.

88
00:04:29,414 --> 00:04:32,941
You'll be sorry!
Wait, that doesn't work after his line.

89
00:04:33,051 --> 00:04:35,986
<i>And Michael rushed home
to teach his son to drive.</i>

90
00:04:36,087 --> 00:04:38,681
<i>Knock, knock. Hey, Maeby.
George Michael, ready to drive?</i>

91
00:04:38,790 --> 00:04:41,315
<i>- I don't have much time.
- Get me behind that wheel.</i>

92
00:04:41,426 --> 00:04:43,326
Oh, no, you will
not be behind the wheel.

93
00:04:43,428 --> 00:04:45,919
You'll observe me while
I demonstrate some things, okay?

94
00:04:46,031 --> 00:04:49,228
I'll be quizzing you too, hotshot.
I'm gonna go grab the video camera.

95
00:04:49,334 --> 00:04:51,859
- And then, school's in.
- I'd skip.

96
00:04:51,970 --> 00:04:53,835
Well, no, I need to learn.

97
00:04:53,938 --> 00:04:55,838
You can't get around
anywhere without a driver's license.

98
00:04:55,940 --> 00:05:00,172
<i>Actually, Maeby had received
a company car from the movie studio...</i>

99
00:05:00,278 --> 00:05:03,509
<i>where she was secretly
posing as an executive.</i>

100
00:05:10,288 --> 00:05:16,022
<i>But currently, George Sr.
Was in the attic making a videotape-</i>

101
00:05:16,127 --> 00:05:19,062
<i>- This is my demand.
- when Michael found him.</i>

102
00:05:19,164 --> 00:05:21,394
What's the deal with the turban?

103
00:05:21,499 --> 00:05:24,332
Huh?
Pretty smart, huh?

104
00:05:24,436 --> 00:05:27,098
- And-And it's warm too.
- Guess that makes sense.

105
00:05:27,205 --> 00:05:30,697
Oh, hey, I heard about that reduced order.
Those bastards.

106
00:05:30,809 --> 00:05:33,801
This videotape is for our employees.

107
00:05:33,912 --> 00:05:39,077
You take this and play it. This will
reassure them that someone is in charge.

108
00:05:39,184 --> 00:05:42,551
Well, someone is in charge, Dad.
I'm in charge. I've never even taken a sick day.

109
00:05:42,654 --> 00:05:44,554
No, a real authority.

110
00:05:44,656 --> 00:05:47,147
My presence needs to be, uh, reinstated.

111
00:05:47,258 --> 00:05:50,421
<i>His first effort at doing so
had already failed.</i>

112
00:05:50,528 --> 00:05:53,053
When do you start
being my mole at my company?

113
00:05:53,164 --> 00:05:55,394
Actually, Michael turned me
down for the job.

114
00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:59,061
- What?
- Something to do with their
housing order being cut back.

115
00:05:59,170 --> 00:06:03,470
Oh, my God, that's a horrible sign-
Ow! Damn it!

116
00:06:03,575 --> 00:06:06,567
<i>I'm the authority,
so I will save the company.</i>

117
00:06:06,678 --> 00:06:09,511
And I say no videotape. Ooh!

118
00:06:09,614 --> 00:06:13,914
- You oughta take a sick day. Get out of that office.
- Don't count on it, Dad.

119
00:06:14,018 --> 00:06:17,112
<i>And Michael was finally ready
to make his son watch him drive.</i>

120
00:06:17,222 --> 00:06:21,158
All right, stair car basics. In order to
get this thing up to a minimum speed...

121
00:06:21,259 --> 00:06:24,626
you gotta jam on the gas pedal
for about a minute, okay?

122
00:06:24,729 --> 00:06:26,629
But in order to slow this thing down...

123
00:06:26,731 --> 00:06:28,631
you gotta get immediately
back on the brake pedal...

124
00:06:28,733 --> 00:06:30,564
'cause you got about
two tons of stairs behind you.

125
00:06:30,668 --> 00:06:33,193
We're gonna cover the hydraulic flaps
and the riser system...

126
00:06:33,304 --> 00:06:35,499
after I tell you the basics
about how to avoid a hop-on.

127
00:06:35,607 --> 00:06:39,043
But the first thing
we're gonna go over- Ow!

128
00:06:39,144 --> 00:06:43,205
<i>And that's when Michael decided
that perhaps it was time for a sick day.</i>

129
00:06:43,314 --> 00:06:46,647
<i>Let's go over the route
to the hospital. Ow!</i>

130
00:06:46,751 --> 00:06:50,619
My baby is sick,
but Mother is here to nurse you.

131
00:06:50,722 --> 00:06:54,249
- Well, now I'm a little sicker.
- Well, don't you worry about work today.

132
00:06:54,359 --> 00:06:57,692
I am ready and willing
to step up and take over.

133
00:06:57,796 --> 00:07:00,321
Yeah, and I'll get George Michael
ready for his driving test.

134
00:07:00,432 --> 00:07:04,300
I'm gonna teach him when I get out. And no
one's taking over for me at the Bluth Company.

135
00:07:04,402 --> 00:07:08,964
Michael, this is what we talked about.
I'm sure they'll do just fine without you.

136
00:07:09,073 --> 00:07:11,337
<i>Well, you're wrong,
because we're in crisis there.</i>

137
00:07:11,443 --> 00:07:14,276
They need to know that
I'm in charge and I'm in con-

138
00:07:14,379 --> 00:07:16,973
I'm peeing.
Am I peeing?

139
00:07:17,081 --> 00:07:19,606
I'm sorry. We gave you a little
something to relax you.

140
00:07:19,717 --> 00:07:21,685
It may have taken the tingle out
of your genitals.

141
00:07:21,786 --> 00:07:24,482
Oh, no. You're not
taking care of my son.

142
00:07:24,589 --> 00:07:27,649
I'm sorry to say this, but it's too late
for me to do anything for your son.

143
00:07:28,927 --> 00:07:30,827
Let him keep talking.

144
00:07:30,929 --> 00:07:34,421
Because Dr. Stein here has already
been assigned to his case.

145
00:07:34,532 --> 00:07:38,195
- You're lucky. He's the best.
- Well, only in the county.

146
00:07:38,303 --> 00:07:41,204
But I'm certainly good enough to
take out that appendix of yours.

147
00:07:41,306 --> 00:07:44,503
- Appendix?
- I don't buy it. Could be a hernia.

148
00:07:44,609 --> 00:07:46,668
<i>Or it could be your colon.</i>

149
00:07:46,778 --> 00:07:49,178
I'd want to get in there
and find some answers.

150
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,578
<i>Well, I am the best doctor
in the state.</i>

151
00:07:51,683 --> 00:07:53,583
But if you don't trust my decisions-

152
00:07:53,718 --> 00:07:56,710
No, no, no. No. You're the doctor.
You see, he's the authority here.

153
00:07:56,821 --> 00:08:01,451
<i>We need to respect him just like the employees
at the Bluth Company need to respect me.</i>

154
00:08:01,559 --> 00:08:05,051
Okay, I'm going to put you on this machine
to slow down your heart rate.

155
00:08:05,163 --> 00:08:10,294
<i>Hopefully not too slow, because
it's already dangerously slow as it is.</i>

156
00:08:10,401 --> 00:08:13,427
Whatever you think, Doctor.

157
00:08:13,538 --> 00:08:17,531
<i>Meanwhile, Gob was still trying
to arrange his comeback in magic.</i>

158
00:08:17,642 --> 00:08:19,701
So I'd be a magician
and you'd be my assistant?

159
00:08:19,811 --> 00:08:21,711
Well, on paper, yes.

160
00:08:21,813 --> 00:08:25,476
But once the show starts,
and you ram that sword through my belly...

161
00:08:25,583 --> 00:08:28,916
people will know that I'm the one
who belongs back in the Alliance.

162
00:08:29,020 --> 00:08:31,853
The kind of trick that I can put on a DVD,
like Tony Wonder does.

163
00:08:31,956 --> 00:08:36,916
<i>Tony Wonder had startled the
world by baking himself into a loaf ofbread.</i>

164
00:08:37,028 --> 00:08:39,258
<i>He sold the DVD's of it on his Web site...</i>

165
00:08:39,364 --> 00:08:43,232
<i>which many claimed suffered
due to its pop-up ads.
- Thanks.</i>

166
00:08:43,334 --> 00:08:46,633
I'm finally being treated like a real person,
not some deformed-

167
00:08:46,738 --> 00:08:49,901
Hook! Forgot about
that thing, Elephant Man.

168
00:08:50,008 --> 00:08:52,499
Gonna have to figure out something to do
so that people can look at you...

169
00:08:52,610 --> 00:08:54,578
without wanting to kill themselves.

170
00:08:54,679 --> 00:08:57,944
<i>That night, George Sr.
Heard about Michael's illness.</i>

171
00:08:58,049 --> 00:09:00,813
The employees are gonna panic.
They need to know that someone's in control.

172
00:09:00,919 --> 00:09:04,116
- And how do we do that?
- Booyah!

173
00:09:04,222 --> 00:09:07,055
<i>And at the Gothic Castle...</i>

174
00:09:07,158 --> 00:09:10,753
<i>- Buster had been outfitted with
a mechanical Halloween hand.
- Whoa!</i>

175
00:09:10,862 --> 00:09:13,763
Looks like you've got some dirty ears.

176
00:09:13,865 --> 00:09:16,129
Well, you're not on the banned list,
so you can go on at 6:00.

177
00:09:16,234 --> 00:09:18,998
<i>6:00? Looks like you'll be my opener.</i>

178
00:09:19,103 --> 00:09:23,005
Tony Wonder!

179
00:09:30,682 --> 00:09:32,877
You like bread?

180
00:09:32,984 --> 00:09:35,509
- Yeah.
- Have some.

181
00:09:35,620 --> 00:09:38,521
- Wow, it's warm.
- How did you do that?

182
00:09:38,623 --> 00:09:41,148
Oh, ho, ho.
Magicians only.

183
00:09:41,259 --> 00:09:44,695
I folded it up into some squares,
and I put it in a pouch under my shirt...

184
00:09:44,796 --> 00:09:47,697
and then I pull it out, and I make it
look like it came out of my skin.

185
00:09:47,799 --> 00:09:50,233
- Wow, that sounds easy.
- Keep it to yourself.

186
00:09:50,335 --> 00:09:53,827
And good luck up there tonight.
And you! You'll get there someday.

187
00:09:53,938 --> 00:09:56,463
I started out as a little "W."
Somehow I became a big one.

188
00:09:56,574 --> 00:09:58,474
I don't even know how
it happened. All right?

189
00:10:03,081 --> 00:10:05,049
My eye!

190
00:10:09,354 --> 00:10:11,686
Enjoy the Hanukkah cookie, man.

191
00:10:14,359 --> 00:10:16,327
What a cool guy.

192
00:10:20,433 --> 00:10:23,766
<i>- Tobias had been sent to the office by George Sr.
- My name is Dr. Tobias Fünke...</i>

193
00:10:23,870 --> 00:10:27,829
<i>and I'll be filling in for Michael,
who is not sick.</i>

194
00:10:27,941 --> 00:10:31,536
In fact, just today I saw
a sliver of his buttocks...

195
00:10:31,645 --> 00:10:34,876
and they're as fresh and firm
as a Georgia peach, so not to worry.

196
00:10:34,981 --> 00:10:39,350
But before you all rise up and say,
"Well, let's make this man our leader,"

197
00:10:39,452 --> 00:10:43,513
<i>well, I think that won't be
necessary after you see this.</i>

198
00:10:43,623 --> 00:10:45,523
Is this right?

199
00:10:45,625 --> 00:10:48,924
<i>Meanwhile, Lindsay had
also violated Michael's authority...</i>

200
00:10:49,029 --> 00:10:50,929
<i>and was teaching
George Michael to drive.</i>

201
00:10:51,031 --> 00:10:52,965
Sure you don't want me
to watch you for a while?

202
00:10:53,066 --> 00:10:57,696
Driving is about confidence, George Michael.
Jam on it! It feels great, right?

203
00:10:57,804 --> 00:11:01,262
Now, put your foot on the brake.
There's a light in a half mile.

204
00:11:01,374 --> 00:11:04,070
<i>Meanwhile,
Buster and Gob had begun...</i>

205
00:11:04,177 --> 00:11:07,669
<i>the Sword of Destiny illusion
at the Gothic Castle.</i>

206
00:11:10,684 --> 00:11:16,054
Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah! Ooh! Whoo!

207
00:11:16,156 --> 00:11:18,056
Stop it, Buster.

208
00:11:18,158 --> 00:11:19,955
- And now our magic trick.
- Illusion.

209
00:11:20,060 --> 00:11:22,051
Silence, slave!

210
00:11:22,162 --> 00:11:26,155
In this magic trick,
I'm going to put a sword...

211
00:11:26,266 --> 00:11:29,463
- through my assistant's tummy.
- No patter.

212
00:11:29,569 --> 00:11:32,936
May I have the trick sword, please?

213
00:11:33,039 --> 00:11:36,065
It's a real sword, master.

214
00:11:36,176 --> 00:11:39,577
Oh-ho!

215
00:11:42,549 --> 00:11:46,246
- Ooh! Hoo, hoo, hoo!
- We've got 'em. I'm gonna milk this for a minute.

216
00:11:46,352 --> 00:11:48,912
Okay.

217
00:11:53,727 --> 00:11:56,252
My hand! My hand!

218
00:12:06,973 --> 00:12:10,431
<i>And the audience wasn't
the only one impressed by the performance.</i>

219
00:12:10,543 --> 00:12:14,411
Bravo. Hey, give us a sec,
would you, Candida?

220
00:12:16,883 --> 00:12:20,046
My brother's widow.
It's- up.

221
00:12:20,153 --> 00:12:23,452
Hey, so the accident angle.
Right on.

222
00:12:23,556 --> 00:12:25,786
<i>- Oh, thank you, very much.
- No, thank you.</i>

223
00:12:25,892 --> 00:12:27,792
The "How'd he do dats?" ate it up.

224
00:12:27,894 --> 00:12:29,623
Sorry. That's what we call the audience.

225
00:12:29,729 --> 00:12:32,892
No, l-I know- I know about all that.
Used to have a solo act.

226
00:12:32,999 --> 00:12:34,796
There was talk of boiling me
into a bisque at one point.

227
00:12:34,901 --> 00:12:38,359
Not registering. But you hitched
your wagon to the right star.

228
00:12:38,471 --> 00:12:42,202
<i>- I want you guys on my next DVD.
- You want us for Use Your Illusion?</i>

229
00:12:42,308 --> 00:12:44,208
Actually, some band has
got the rights to that title.

230
00:12:44,310 --> 00:12:46,210
<i>So, I'm thinkin', like,
Use Your Illusion II.</i>

231
00:12:46,312 --> 00:12:49,645
But, yeah, meet me out there tomorrow.
And, uh, if you get thirsty-

232
00:12:59,159 --> 00:13:04,324
Have a free round of drinks,
courtesy ofTony Wonder.

233
00:13:04,430 --> 00:13:08,161
- It's a Subway Sub Club card.
- That's a magician.

234
00:13:08,268 --> 00:13:10,236
Oh, it still needs three stamps.

235
00:13:10,336 --> 00:13:13,237
<i>Michael had just come
around from his appendectomy.</i>

236
00:13:13,339 --> 00:13:15,671
Give me the phone. I want to call
George Michael, tell him I'm okay.

237
00:13:15,775 --> 00:13:18,107
He's on his way here.
We passed him on the road.

238
00:13:18,211 --> 00:13:21,408
He was doing really well.
Had his first hop-on.

239
00:13:21,514 --> 00:13:24,176
What are you talking about?
He's driving? I told Lindsay not to teach him.

240
00:13:24,284 --> 00:13:27,344
- I was going to videotape that hop-on.
- Hey, Dad. How're you feeling?

241
00:13:27,453 --> 00:13:30,684
Bad, George Michael. I just found out
Lindsay's teaching you how to drive.

242
00:13:30,790 --> 00:13:34,692
Yeah. She's still trying to get the stairs
unwedged from the emergency room overhang.

243
00:13:34,794 --> 00:13:38,252
I was gonna teach you. Just forget
everything she told you, and we'll start over.

244
00:13:38,364 --> 00:13:40,264
Oh, for God's sake.
Tobias is right.

245
00:13:40,366 --> 00:13:42,266
- What?
- You have to control everyone's life.

246
00:13:42,368 --> 00:13:45,701
I don't know where you get that from.
Oscar, stop licking that sore.

247
00:13:45,805 --> 00:13:49,468
- I'm not.
- Well, the operation went pretty smoothly.

248
00:13:49,576 --> 00:13:53,979
<i>But once I got in there,
the appendix wasn't so inflamed. D'oh.</i>

249
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:56,913
- I knew it.
- Okay. Well, can we get me out of here?

250
00:13:57,016 --> 00:14:00,213
I gotta retrain my son how to drive,
and I need to stop by the office...

251
00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:03,483
- to make sure my business doesn't go to hell.
- And, not so fast, Michael.

252
00:14:03,590 --> 00:14:06,286
There seems to be a bacterial infection
from the operation...

253
00:14:06,392 --> 00:14:10,886
- which left an abscess in your abdominal wall.
- Ew.

254
00:14:10,997 --> 00:14:13,158
I know, it's pretty gross.
It could heal on its own.

255
00:14:13,266 --> 00:14:18,636
<i>But I say we go in there
Dr. Stein-style and cut it out.</i>

256
00:14:18,738 --> 00:14:22,765
I want to show these interns what
the best doctor in Southern California can do.

257
00:14:22,876 --> 00:14:26,676
- Well, I respect your decision.
- I'll check on you soon.

258
00:14:26,779 --> 00:14:31,341
Michael, this crazy point you're trying to
make about respecting authority is absurd.

259
00:14:31,451 --> 00:14:35,979
And one day, you're gonna wake up and find
out it has caused you nothing but trouble.

260
00:14:36,089 --> 00:14:40,321
<i>- And you are peeing again.
- And as the anesthesia took hold...</i>

261
00:14:40,426 --> 00:14:43,486
<i>Michael realized he was going to
wake up to nothing but trouble.</i>

262
00:14:43,596 --> 00:14:48,226
The F.B.I. Has pinpointed the location
of escaped convict George Bluth today...

263
00:14:48,334 --> 00:14:52,771
<i>thanks to a tape turned in by a rabid
and disgruntled employee.</i>

264
00:14:52,872 --> 00:14:58,606
The F.B.I. Has matched the design of the attic
to one of Saddam Hussein's Iraqi houses.

265
00:14:58,711 --> 00:15:02,477
- And it appears his son is with him.
- This is my demand.

266
00:15:02,582 --> 00:15:05,676
Booyah!

267
00:15:08,983 --> 00:15:12,111
<i>Buster and Gob were
waiting to meet with Tony Wonder.</i>

268
00:15:12,220 --> 00:15:16,384
All right. He's gonna lowball us, so just
let me do the talking, all right, Busty?

269
00:15:16,491 --> 00:15:19,619
This DVD is the destiny
the sword has chosen for me.

270
00:15:19,727 --> 00:15:22,525
I wonder where he is.

271
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:25,827
Did somebody say, "Wonder"?

272
00:15:25,934 --> 00:15:30,462
He just appeared out of nowhere,
in front of that dumbwaiter.

273
00:15:30,571 --> 00:15:34,302
<i>Actually, he'd been hiding inside
the dumbwaiter for over 20 minutes...</i>

274
00:15:34,409 --> 00:15:38,539
<i>- waiting for someone to use the word "wonder."
- I wonder where he is.</i>

275
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:40,978
Oh, hey, you've got a piece
of lettuce on your shoulder.

276
00:15:41,082 --> 00:15:43,107
Ta-da!

277
00:15:43,217 --> 00:15:47,517
Part of the trick.
So, let's get down to business, shall we?

278
00:15:47,622 --> 00:15:50,182
Hey, can you, uh, go wait with
the other assistants over there?

279
00:15:50,291 --> 00:15:53,590
- What?
- No, whatever you say to me, you can say to him.

280
00:15:53,695 --> 00:15:57,096
I grant him magic sanctuary.

281
00:15:57,198 --> 00:16:00,656
<i>Uh, you grant me? Come on,
you can't just make up-
- That's fine.</i>

282
00:16:00,768 --> 00:16:04,329
I second the sanctuary.
But with a clause of silence.

283
00:16:04,439 --> 00:16:08,102
<i>So, I want you guys to be on Use Your Illusion.
Only now it's "Allusion" with an "A."</i>

284
00:16:08,209 --> 00:16:10,939
So if you guys want to put
an allusion in there somewhere...

285
00:16:11,045 --> 00:16:14,378
like, you know, Poe or something or-
Don't do Poe, 'cause I'm doin' Poe.

286
00:16:14,482 --> 00:16:16,712
- What about Chaucer?
- Just not Poe, okay?

287
00:16:16,818 --> 00:16:21,221
And, uh, I don't think
we need, uh, your assistant.

288
00:16:21,322 --> 00:16:24,519
- What?
- Eh! Clause of silence.

289
00:16:24,625 --> 00:16:29,961
Look, my assistant is my partner.
I need him.

290
00:16:30,064 --> 00:16:33,261
For what, Buster, huh?
You're the magic.

291
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:36,826
Check out those moves you're doin', man.
They're in their own orbit.

292
00:16:36,938 --> 00:16:38,906
Look at Tiagra, my girl.
Don't look at her.

293
00:16:39,007 --> 00:16:42,408
'Cause you look at her and it affects her
in a way that I don't feel comfortable with.

294
00:16:42,510 --> 00:16:45,377
Or go for it. I don't care, whatever.
I'm just sayin' it's your world.

295
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:47,812
All right, you know what?
The trick is on you, Tony Wonder.

296
00:16:47,915 --> 00:16:52,318
I'm the magician. He's the assistant.
We don't need him!

297
00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:56,880
The real Sword of Destiny trick
hasn't even been performed yet. Ta-da!

298
00:16:56,991 --> 00:16:59,721
<i>Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa. Wait.</i>

299
00:16:59,827 --> 00:17:03,228
Are you tellin' me that you have a
multi-stage trick with hidden identities?

300
00:17:03,331 --> 00:17:06,789
<i>That's right. And I'm gonna perform
the real trick this afternoon.</i>

301
00:17:08,469 --> 00:17:11,597
<i>- I guess we'll see what you can do then.
- I guess we will.</i>

302
00:17:17,111 --> 00:17:22,515
Ow! Darryl, I told you to move that-
chair 10 times!

303
00:17:22,617 --> 00:17:25,085
And clean the-
Dumbwaiter while you're at it!

304
00:17:25,186 --> 00:17:28,155
Oh, I was really hoping
for a graham cracker.

305
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:30,451
That would have been
a good spot for a trick.

306
00:17:30,558 --> 00:17:32,822
<i>- Michael awoke from his second surgery.
- Morning, sleepyhead.</i>

307
00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:36,294
- Did you get the abscess?
- Well, uh, we had a little whoopsie.

308
00:17:36,397 --> 00:17:40,527
See, we got the abscess, but I think
we might have left some snippers in there.

309
00:17:40,635 --> 00:17:45,766
It's not very likely, but one of the assistants
having taken them is even less likely.

310
00:17:45,873 --> 00:17:50,742
<i>- Unless I left them in my scrubs.
- Michael, good news.</i>

311
00:17:50,845 --> 00:17:53,780
They think George is in Iraq.
All the pressure's off him.

312
00:17:53,881 --> 00:17:57,373
That was on the news?
I thought that I dreamt that.

313
00:17:57,485 --> 00:18:00,511
- Oh, they're gonna think that I'm there. Ow!
- But not to worry.

314
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:02,953
<i>Tobias said he's handling it
with the F.B. I...</i>

315
00:18:03,057 --> 00:18:05,548
and the employees have
everything under control.

316
00:18:05,660 --> 00:18:07,560
No, that's the worst thing possible.

317
00:18:07,662 --> 00:18:09,721
They think the company's in trouble
and that I'm in Iraq.

318
00:18:09,831 --> 00:18:11,731
I gotta get down there.
I need your car keys.

319
00:18:11,833 --> 00:18:14,859
<i>And so Michael
and George Michael headed to the office.</i>

320
00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:17,631
<i>- Right here, gentlemen.
- Which is how Tobias missed him.</i>

321
00:18:17,738 --> 00:18:21,970
Michael Bluth is not... in Iraq.

322
00:18:22,076 --> 00:18:26,570
<i>Michael, back to bed with you.
You look awful.</i>

323
00:18:26,681 --> 00:18:32,551
<i>Michael rushed to the office
only to find that his worst fears had come true.</i>

324
00:18:34,222 --> 00:18:36,747
We're too late. It's gone.
Everybody said that I was too controlling...

325
00:18:36,858 --> 00:18:40,259
but I walk away for one minute,
look what happens to the company.

326
00:18:40,361 --> 00:18:42,295
I mean, this is why
I didn't want- Damn it!

327
00:18:42,396 --> 00:18:44,296
Dad, you should probably take it easy.

328
00:18:44,398 --> 00:18:47,595
I said that this would happen. I said respect
my authority, but no one would listen.

329
00:18:47,702 --> 00:18:49,636
Everybody had
their own better id- Ow!

330
00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:53,730
<i>And maybe it was the stress
or even the misplaced snippers...</i>

331
00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:55,866
<i>but Michael had never felt worse.</i>

332
00:18:55,977 --> 00:19:00,505
<i>However, thanks to taking on his authority,
the employees had never felt better.</i>

333
00:19:00,615 --> 00:19:02,981
- Ted?
- Oh, hey, Michael. Good news.

334
00:19:03,084 --> 00:19:05,416
We leased the top floor to another company
and moved down here.

335
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:08,717
But we can stay in business
without having to build the extra houses.

336
00:19:08,823 --> 00:19:11,018
We did it.
We did it!

337
00:19:13,494 --> 00:19:17,021
<i>- You're goin' down, right?
- Whoo!</i>

338
00:19:17,131 --> 00:19:20,897
<i>And back at the Gothic Castle,
Gob was performing his illusion.</i>

339
00:19:21,002 --> 00:19:25,701
Hey, after I cut the candle in half,
switch out the real sword for the fake one.

340
00:19:25,806 --> 00:19:28,400
What are you doin'?
I'm Gob Bluth.

341
00:19:28,509 --> 00:19:32,843
I'm the real magician.
This man is only the assistant.

342
00:19:32,947 --> 00:19:36,280
Buster, the sword.

343
00:19:37,652 --> 00:19:40,052
Handle first. Handle first.

344
00:19:40,154 --> 00:19:42,782
<i>Oh, my fingers!</i>

345
00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:45,324
He cut off my-
fingers!

346
00:19:45,426 --> 00:19:47,951
- Oh!
- No!

347
00:19:50,164 --> 00:19:52,758
<i>- Guy is good. Damn good.
- Bravo!</i>

348
00:19:52,867 --> 00:19:55,563
<i>I'm not kidding!
He cut off my- fingers!</i>

349
00:19:55,670 --> 00:20:00,073
<i>- I didn't know we had taquitos.
- More! More!</i>

350
00:20:00,174 --> 00:20:02,074
<i>And Michael came to a decision.</i>

351
00:20:02,176 --> 00:20:04,167
You know what, George Michael?

352
00:20:04,278 --> 00:20:09,614
I think I'm going to give up
some of my authority, starting now.

353
00:20:09,717 --> 00:20:12,379
You drive home. All right?

354
00:20:12,486 --> 00:20:15,455
<i>Unfortunately,
Michael's decision to let his son...</i>

355
00:20:15,556 --> 00:20:19,788
<i>drive a car with a more
responsive gas pedal...</i>

356
00:20:19,894 --> 00:20:23,125
<i>was not a good decision.</i>

357
00:20:23,231 --> 00:20:24,994
Your leg's gonna be fine, Michael.

358
00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:27,863
<i>And I wouldn't worry about
getting hit by any more cars.</i>

359
00:20:27,969 --> 00:20:31,632
I've shortened your calf muscles to
theoretically increase your jumping ability.

360
00:20:31,739 --> 00:20:35,300
<i>But if it works,
I could be the best in the world.</i>

361
00:20:35,409 --> 00:20:37,877
I want the other doctor back.

362
00:20:37,979 --> 00:20:40,777
<i>On the next Arrested Development.</i>

363
00:20:40,881 --> 00:20:45,113
<i>- Michael gets a new roommate.
- Your fingers have been perfectly reattached.</i>

364
00:20:45,219 --> 00:20:47,449
Go ahead, take a look.

365
00:20:48,923 --> 00:20:51,050
My middle finger
and index finger are-

366
00:20:51,158 --> 00:20:54,059
Switched for the first time ever.

367
00:20:54,161 --> 00:20:56,629
- Nice job, Frank.
- Amazing.

368
00:20:56,731 --> 00:21:00,667
<i>And the F.B.I. Finds footage more
troublesome than they'd originally thought.</i>

369
00:21:00,768 --> 00:21:03,794
It appears there was
something else on the videotape.

370
00:21:03,904 --> 00:21:06,805
We think it's a terrorist training film.

371
00:21:06,907 --> 00:21:11,344
You're not half the man he was!

372
00:21:11,445 --> 00:21:14,039
This kid's got moves.

