1
00:00:02,345 --> 00:00:04,939
<i>It's Arrested Development.</i>

2
00:00:05,114 --> 00:00:08,675
<i>Michael Bluth believed
he’d just made a shocking discovery.</i>

3
00:00:08,785 --> 00:00:11,253
That might be an older sister
that we've never met.

4
00:00:11,354 --> 00:00:14,084
Wow. Look at the beak
on that bird.

5
00:00:14,190 --> 00:00:16,954
<i>Michael found the picture
in a secret room...</i>

6
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:19,494
<i>while looking for incriminating
evidence against his father.</i>

7
00:00:19,595 --> 00:00:21,426
I have an older sister?

8
00:00:21,531 --> 00:00:24,295
<i>- Don't you kind of remember having
an older sister? - Not at all.</i>

9
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:27,335
- What, do you?
- A little bit. I mean, "Nellie" does sound familiar.

10
00:00:27,437 --> 00:00:30,565
- Mom and Dad clearly were trying to keep this
hidden from us. - But this could be anybody.

11
00:00:30,673 --> 00:00:32,573
This could be a deformed neighbor or...

12
00:00:32,675 --> 00:00:35,906
A child that Mom and Dad
gave up for some reason...

13
00:00:36,012 --> 00:00:38,776
and whose identity they're now using
to pin their crimes on.

14
00:00:38,881 --> 00:00:41,975
The prosecutor said that there was that account
with money in it labeled "N. Bluth."

15
00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:43,916
Her name is Nellie.

16
00:00:44,020 --> 00:00:47,820
Do you remember when you thought
there was a mysterious Mr. "F" out to get you?

17
00:00:47,924 --> 00:00:51,325
Yeah, but that was retard... misguided.

18
00:00:51,427 --> 00:00:55,295
This is different. This is N. Bluth.

19
00:00:55,398 --> 00:00:58,458
Well, why don't you just go to Dad
and ask who Nellie is, point blank?

20
00:00:58,568 --> 00:01:00,468
So he can just cover it up and lie?

21
00:01:00,570 --> 00:01:03,004
I can't stand to hear one more lie
out of this family.

22
00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:06,007
Ah, there's the woman
I'm sexually attracted to.

23
00:01:06,109 --> 00:01:08,009
Okay. But that's the last one.

24
00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:11,808
- Well, I'm off to the gym to prepare for our tryst.
- Tryst?

25
00:01:11,914 --> 00:01:15,213
Yes, Lindsay and I are planning a night
of heterosexual intercourse.

26
00:01:15,318 --> 00:01:18,219
- You can just say intercourse.
- We talked about it last night.

27
00:01:18,321 --> 00:01:21,051
<i>After a disappointing
attempt at lovemaking.</i>

28
00:01:21,157 --> 00:01:24,183
Ah, this isn't going to happen.
I just want you to be satisfied.

29
00:01:24,293 --> 00:01:26,386
Oh, T., you're always thinking of others.

30
00:01:26,496 --> 00:01:28,521
I tried that. It didn't work either.

31
00:01:28,631 --> 00:01:33,068
You know, maybe I would be more attracted
to you if you were in better shape.

32
00:01:33,169 --> 00:01:35,967
You know, if you were just
more muscular, masculine.

33
00:01:36,072 --> 00:01:38,404
- Does that make me shallow?
- No.

34
00:01:38,508 --> 00:01:40,806
I was gonna say the same thing to you.

35
00:01:40,910 --> 00:01:43,242
Maybe we should take a little time
to work on ourselves...

36
00:01:43,346 --> 00:01:46,713
and then we'll plan a special night
in seven or eight days.

37
00:01:46,816 --> 00:01:49,080
- Or a couple of weeks.
- Let's say three weeks.

38
00:01:49,185 --> 00:01:51,517
- We're gonna go for it in a month.
- At the start of next month.

39
00:01:51,621 --> 00:01:53,521
And we're gonna call it
a 31-day month.

40
00:01:53,623 --> 00:01:55,887
Even though
this particular month has 30 days.

41
00:01:55,992 --> 00:01:58,722
Oh, you know, I've already
prepared a list of "won'ts."

42
00:01:58,828 --> 00:02:01,729
Oh, you're not gonna believe this.
My list of "can'ts."

43
00:02:01,831 --> 00:02:04,391
Marital love can be so romantic.

44
00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,491
- What's that supposed to mean?
- What?

45
00:02:06,602 --> 00:02:10,595
"Marital love." You were looking right at me,
and you said "marital love." Why would I...

46
00:02:10,706 --> 00:02:13,038
<i>George Michael
was interested because earlier that day...</i>

47
00:02:13,142 --> 00:02:17,442
<i>he discovered that the recent mock wedding
he'd acted in with his cousin Maeby...</i>

48
00:02:17,547 --> 00:02:20,448
<i>- We're married?
- was, in fact, as real and binding...</i>

49
00:02:20,550 --> 00:02:24,418
<i>as the rice pudding the disoriented
patients had thrown at them.</i>

50
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,284
- I was talking to your aunt and uncle.
- Of course.

51
00:02:27,390 --> 00:02:30,120
They're married too... Each other.

52
00:02:30,226 --> 00:02:33,855
Oh, please. Pity the fool who gives me
a bunch of jibber-jabber about romance.

53
00:02:33,963 --> 00:02:37,262
My religious girlfriend just dumped me,
and for a simple little misunderstanding.

54
00:02:37,366 --> 00:02:41,530
If someone was always asking you to embrace
the Holy Trinity, what would you think they meant?

55
00:02:41,637 --> 00:02:43,798
<i>Gob thought it meant a three-way.</i>

56
00:02:43,906 --> 00:02:47,706
What? I thought that's what
all you guys lived for.

57
00:02:47,810 --> 00:02:49,710
What about you? You game?

58
00:02:49,812 --> 00:02:52,508
- Well, maybe she just wasn't for you.
- Which one?

59
00:02:52,615 --> 00:02:54,640
I really wasn't paying attention.

60
00:02:54,750 --> 00:02:58,379
The real problem is she keeps saying
that God is gonna show me a sign.

61
00:02:58,487 --> 00:03:02,548
The... something of my ways.
"Wisdom"?

62
00:03:02,658 --> 00:03:05,286
It's probably "wisdom."
Gob, listen, can I ask you a question?

63
00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:08,693
- Do you remember growing up with a sister?
- Sister.

64
00:03:08,798 --> 00:03:11,596
Uh, no, I don't.

65
00:03:11,701 --> 00:03:14,067
Not really ringin' any bells.

66
00:03:14,170 --> 00:03:17,162
- Other than Lindsay, of course.
- Oh, Lindsay!

67
00:03:17,273 --> 00:03:19,434
Well, you might not be
the most reputable source on this.

68
00:03:19,542 --> 00:03:21,942
<i>- Upstairs...
- What?</i>

69
00:03:22,044 --> 00:03:24,740
<i>- George Michael was sharing his news
with his cousin. - You mean we're married?</i>

70
00:03:24,847 --> 00:03:28,180
- It's just a piece of paper. It doesn't mean anything.
- We should shred it.

71
00:03:28,284 --> 00:03:30,479
- It's creeping me out.
- Yeah, me... It's...

72
00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:33,851
But if we just put it over the dresser,
like we think it's a joke...

73
00:03:33,956 --> 00:03:36,186
- then we would always know...
- It is a joke.

74
00:03:36,292 --> 00:03:38,658
Unless we get it framed.

75
00:03:38,761 --> 00:03:42,219
<i>And Michael
went to investigate his mystery sister.</i>

76
00:03:42,331 --> 00:03:45,960
- Michael! What a surprise.
- Really? Were you expecting somebody else?

77
00:03:46,068 --> 00:03:48,866
<i>Maybe, uh, one of
your two daughters?</i>

78
00:03:48,971 --> 00:03:51,769
Oh, Lindsay and Tobias never visit.

79
00:03:51,874 --> 00:03:54,434
We're so bad!

80
00:03:54,543 --> 00:03:57,103
I-I actually meant Lindsay and Nellie.

81
00:03:57,213 --> 00:03:59,647
You call him that too?

82
00:03:59,749 --> 00:04:03,515
- Oh, it's so nice to be able to talk like this.
- Where's Dad?

83
00:04:03,619 --> 00:04:06,281
- What's all this?
- Computer stuff from the office.

84
00:04:06,389 --> 00:04:10,553
Pop, you're not doin' another one
of those Black Fridays? Your mass firings?

85
00:04:10,660 --> 00:04:13,185
<i>Before firing his employees, however...</i>

86
00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:16,527
<i>George Sr. had been sure
to clear the office of its valuables.</i>

87
00:04:16,632 --> 00:04:18,725
So, when do we get to see
our new, fancy offices?

88
00:04:18,834 --> 00:04:22,133
Soon as you get your new, fancy jobs.
You're all fired.

89
00:04:22,238 --> 00:04:24,365
<i>The employees never saw it coming...</i>

90
00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:29,809
<i>even though their first task was often
to unload computers from a rental truck.</i>

91
00:04:29,912 --> 00:04:32,881
No, it's not a Black Friday,
although I did enjoy those.

92
00:04:32,982 --> 00:04:36,418
No, the prosecution's gonna want
to have access to the hard drive...

93
00:04:36,519 --> 00:04:40,148
so I just want to make sure
everything's nice and clean for them.

94
00:04:40,256 --> 00:04:42,224
- What the hell is that thing?
- An electromagnet.

95
00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:44,156
Think of it as a giant delete key.

96
00:04:44,260 --> 00:04:46,228
Well, I hate to spoil your fun, Dad...

97
00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:49,924
but I got backups on all of that stuff,
and this is illegal.

98
00:04:50,032 --> 00:04:52,364
Oh! Well, excuse me, Judge Reinhold...

99
00:04:52,468 --> 00:04:55,164
but I am trying to protect my family.

100
00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:59,269
That's not a real gold necklace, is it?

101
00:04:59,375 --> 00:05:02,276
Well, it wasn't really
your 50th birthday.

102
00:05:02,378 --> 00:05:04,869
You know, Dad, you can't have
this stuff in here, all right?

103
00:05:04,980 --> 00:05:06,880
And we don't need more trouble.

104
00:05:06,982 --> 00:05:10,577
It's bad enough you got Buster faking a coma
just so he doesn't have to testify.

105
00:05:10,686 --> 00:05:12,950
I've been trying to get him
out of that coma.

106
00:05:13,055 --> 00:05:15,751
It's costing us a fortune.
He's sleeping us dry.

107
00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:19,851
Okay, faker, I'm cutting the cord.

108
00:05:19,962 --> 00:05:24,126
I'll see ya at the snack machine.

109
00:05:24,233 --> 00:05:26,895
If he knows that you don't want him
in the coma, then why's he still in it?

110
00:05:27,002 --> 00:05:29,402
For some reason, he won't tell me.

111
00:05:29,505 --> 00:05:32,770
<i>- He'd fallen for his day nurse.
- Buster, you're so dear.</i>

112
00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:36,709
<i>She'd found his complete lack of
personality and movement enchanting.</i>

113
00:05:36,812 --> 00:05:40,145
I wish you could say something.

114
00:05:40,249 --> 00:05:44,151
Course, if you did, everything would
be ruined 'cause you wouldn't be as pure.

115
00:05:44,253 --> 00:05:48,781
Speaking of living a lie, I don't suppose either
of you have remembered who this N. Bluth is.

116
00:05:48,891 --> 00:05:51,416
Not a Nick or a Nellie?

117
00:05:51,527 --> 00:05:55,054
Just the one who married Lindsay.

118
00:05:55,164 --> 00:05:57,462
Oh, isn't it fun to talk like this?

119
00:06:00,069 --> 00:06:03,402
<i>So Michael returned to the office,
where the atmosphere was paranoid.</i>

120
00:06:03,506 --> 00:06:06,107
- Is it Black Friday?
- No one's getting fired. No one's getting fired.

121
00:06:06,175 --> 00:06:08,109
But we haven't been paid,
and they took our computers.

122
00:06:08,210 --> 00:06:12,306
This looks bad, but it's just my father trying
to erase the hard drives to avoid conviction.

123
00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:14,883
The company is fine.
This is... This is fun though, isn't it?

124
00:06:14,984 --> 00:06:16,952
They brought out all the old machines.

125
00:06:17,052 --> 00:06:20,488
They've seen better days,
but I'm sure they're all functional, right?

126
00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:23,251
- Like Tom here.
- I'm 30.

127
00:06:23,359 --> 00:06:25,418
You're kidding me.

128
00:06:25,528 --> 00:06:28,793
<i>But Michael found
the equipment frustrating as well.</i>

129
00:06:28,898 --> 00:06:33,096
"Gob's Program"? Idiot.

130
00:06:33,202 --> 00:06:35,727
<i>And then he noticed something else.</i>

131
00:06:38,207 --> 00:06:40,539
- Nellie.
- Michael, I gotta talk to...

132
00:06:40,643 --> 00:06:43,373
Oh, wow. K-Y pro, huh?

133
00:06:43,479 --> 00:06:45,504
Hey, don't get any moisture
on these babes.

134
00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:47,548
Hey! Tobias.

135
00:06:47,650 --> 00:06:49,618
Buddy, I needed that information.

136
00:06:49,718 --> 00:06:51,777
This is that sister I've been lookin' for.

137
00:06:51,887 --> 00:06:55,220
Just hit "print screen." I'm sure
that whatever's on there will come up.

138
00:06:55,324 --> 00:06:57,724
Oh, look at that.

139
00:06:59,328 --> 00:07:01,626
I kind of remember these
being faster, you know?

140
00:07:01,730 --> 00:07:05,791
Well, we were probably all so jacked up
on amyl and disco music we didn't notice.

141
00:07:05,901 --> 00:07:07,801
But I'm glad about this printer lag...

142
00:07:07,903 --> 00:07:10,997
because I was hoping
to have a jaw session with you.

143
00:07:11,106 --> 00:07:13,574
Why don't we just say
as long as that means a talk?

144
00:07:13,676 --> 00:07:18,170
I find myself attracted
to someone who's not my wife.

145
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:21,647
- What's her name?
- Michael.

146
00:07:21,750 --> 00:07:24,913
- Can you believe it?
- You're married to my sister.

147
00:07:25,020 --> 00:07:26,920
Don't you think I know that?

148
00:07:27,022 --> 00:07:29,820
- I-I'm not interested in you that way.
- What way?

149
00:07:29,925 --> 00:07:31,859
- Pick one.
- No.

150
00:07:31,961 --> 00:07:34,930
Did you think you were the Michael
I was talking about? No.

151
00:07:35,030 --> 00:07:38,261
- What? - No, interesting that
your mind went there though.

152
00:07:38,367 --> 00:07:43,327
Okay. Uh, no. I'm afraid the Michael
I'm talking about is all lady.

153
00:07:43,439 --> 00:07:46,169
- She's the trainer at my gym.
- The trainer you started with today?

154
00:07:46,275 --> 00:07:49,608
- Indeed. Can you believe she's a bodybuilder?
- Indeed.

155
00:07:49,712 --> 00:07:52,044
What am I doing?
What am I doing? What am I doing?

156
00:07:52,147 --> 00:07:55,048
- What am I doing? - You're nervous about
becoming intimate with Lindsay again.

157
00:07:55,150 --> 00:07:57,550
- I guess.
- You probably should not rush into things.

158
00:07:57,653 --> 00:08:00,622
Don't call this girl-Michael.
Stay away from the gym.

159
00:08:00,723 --> 00:08:03,419
- Just leave it alone.
- Wise words, boy-Michael.

160
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:06,689
I'll tell you, if I wasn't so dripping
and disgustingly sweaty right now...

161
00:08:06,795 --> 00:08:09,958
I'd hop over this desk
and give you such a hug.

162
00:08:10,065 --> 00:08:12,590
- Hey, coulda, shoulda, woulda.
- Hey, hey. No, no.

163
00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:15,670
Ooh, look. Number's up.
Look at that.

164
00:08:15,771 --> 00:08:17,966
Ah, it would've been a seven.

165
00:08:18,073 --> 00:08:21,201
<i>Later that night,
Lucille visited Buster in the hospital.</i>

166
00:08:21,310 --> 00:08:25,269
- What the hell is this?
- My name is Representative John Van Heusen.

167
00:08:25,381 --> 00:08:28,646
I am here to protect
the dignity of this boy's life.

168
00:08:28,751 --> 00:08:30,810
Dignity? Easy for you to say.

169
00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:33,047
I'm the one who has to
loofah his stump.

170
00:08:33,155 --> 00:08:36,420
I believe death is wrong in all of its forms,
except lethal injection.

171
00:08:36,525 --> 00:08:39,085
But that's just as a deterrent
against more death.

172
00:08:39,194 --> 00:08:42,425
And this young man is enjoying life.

173
00:08:42,531 --> 00:08:44,795
Hey! Hey! Huh? Hey, look at us, huh?

174
00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,891
We're havin' a blast here, huh?

175
00:08:47,002 --> 00:08:49,493
How the hell did you even find out
about Sleeping Beauty here?

176
00:08:49,605 --> 00:08:52,574
It was an anonymous tip from someone
who cares about Buster's life.

177
00:08:52,675 --> 00:08:54,768
It's not ringing any bells.

178
00:08:54,877 --> 00:08:56,640
<i>In fact, it was Buster himself.</i>

179
00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:59,475
They're trying to kill Baby Buster.

180
00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:01,675
Oh, that's right... from the videos.

181
00:09:01,784 --> 00:09:04,912
Well, no one's killin'
Baby Buster on my watch.

182
00:09:05,020 --> 00:09:08,353
That is unless, of course, it's as a penalty
in a three-strikes scenario.

183
00:09:08,457 --> 00:09:12,450
No one's called him Baby Buster
since high school.

184
00:09:12,561 --> 00:09:14,688
<i>Michael, meanwhile...</i>

185
00:09:14,797 --> 00:09:18,255
<i>had called one number after another
until he found Frank...</i>

186
00:09:18,367 --> 00:09:21,336
<i>- a colleague of the woman he knew as Nellie.
- I'm looking for Nellie.</i>

187
00:09:21,437 --> 00:09:24,497
<i>Yeah. Well, she's workin'
a software convention at some hotel.</i>

188
00:09:24,607 --> 00:09:27,667
<i>- I can set up a meeting at the bar, man.
- Appreciate it.</i>

189
00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:30,074
<i>So Michael arrived at the bar...</i>

190
00:09:30,179 --> 00:09:33,979
<i>hoping to spot someone
who could be his sister.</i>

191
00:09:35,985 --> 00:09:39,284
She grew into the nose.
Nellie? Hey! Hi.

192
00:09:39,388 --> 00:09:41,288
Michael. Frank sent me.

193
00:09:41,390 --> 00:09:44,382
- I think I might be interested in your services.
- You won't be sorry.

194
00:09:44,493 --> 00:09:47,121
Yeah? I was hoping that maybe we
could just talk a little bit first, huh?

195
00:09:47,229 --> 00:09:50,062
<i>- Yeah, most people want to.
- They did talk.</i>

196
00:09:50,165 --> 00:09:54,295
<i>And Michael felt a connection
like he'd never felt with anyone in his family.</i>

197
00:09:54,403 --> 00:09:56,837
I had a locker on the first floor
freshman year...

198
00:09:56,939 --> 00:10:00,306
right next to the caf with all the junior lockers,
so it was clearly a mistake.

199
00:10:00,409 --> 00:10:03,674
- But I didn't say anything, right?
- Ooh, you're bad.

200
00:10:03,779 --> 00:10:05,974
I had that same locker
all throughout sophomore year.

201
00:10:06,081 --> 00:10:09,312
- Junior year they had me on the third
floor with all the frosh. - That is wild.

202
00:10:09,418 --> 00:10:12,410
I had the same combo throughout 'cause I
transferred the lock. Let me tell you why.

203
00:10:12,521 --> 00:10:15,718
<i>Hey, let's see what
some of the other folks are up to.</i>

204
00:10:17,126 --> 00:10:19,094
<i>Nothing there.</i>

205
00:10:20,462 --> 00:10:22,362
<i>Or there.</i>

206
00:10:22,464 --> 00:10:25,831
<i>Oh, my.</i>

207
00:10:25,934 --> 00:10:28,334
<i>Let's get back to Michael.</i>

208
00:10:28,437 --> 00:10:31,167
It was Joe Namath's number,
Babe Ruth's number, then my birthday.

209
00:10:31,273 --> 00:10:33,503
That is a great story.

210
00:10:33,609 --> 00:10:35,668
<i>It wasn't a great story.</i>

211
00:10:35,778 --> 00:10:39,111
<i>Nellie was just a great listener.
Most prostitutes are.</i>

212
00:10:39,214 --> 00:10:41,045
Nellie, the hell with formalities.

213
00:10:41,150 --> 00:10:43,516
- I think you and I should do business together.
- Me too.

214
00:10:49,791 --> 00:10:54,421
<i>Michael had just hired a woman
he'd secretly believed to be his sister.</i>

215
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:56,656
How did you get into this line of work?

216
00:10:56,765 --> 00:10:59,996
<i>But, of course, he'd also yet
to figure out she was a prostitute.</i>

217
00:11:00,101 --> 00:11:03,662
I was buried in loan debt from business school,
so I started whoring myself out.

218
00:11:03,772 --> 00:11:05,672
<i>Not that there weren't clues.</i>

219
00:11:05,774 --> 00:11:09,073
What do you say we go up to my room
and seal the deal?

220
00:11:09,177 --> 00:11:12,010
You're stayin' here, huh? I was actually
hoping to get into your business tomorrow.

221
00:11:12,113 --> 00:11:14,843
It would give you a chance
to meet everybody in the office.

222
00:11:14,949 --> 00:11:17,042
'Cause you're gonna be working
for the whole staff.

223
00:11:17,152 --> 00:11:18,949
- You're gonna be filling three openings.
- Oh!

224
00:11:19,054 --> 00:11:22,512
I heard there were a couple of girls like me
consulting over at Enron.

225
00:11:22,624 --> 00:11:26,355
<i>So the next day, Michael
introduced his new consultant to his staff...</i>

226
00:11:26,461 --> 00:11:28,361
<i>who weren't that pleased to meet her.</i>

227
00:11:28,463 --> 00:11:31,864
You hired someone else?
We haven't even been paid yet.

228
00:11:31,966 --> 00:11:34,366
That's exactly why I hired her...
to help out with the finances.

229
00:11:34,469 --> 00:11:38,030
She's absolutely amazing at that stuff.
Right? You do do finances and stuff, right?

230
00:11:38,139 --> 00:11:41,597
- I do all sorts of scenes.
- There you go. Okay, guys.

231
00:11:41,710 --> 00:11:44,076
Don't be afraid to put her
in any position that you want, okay?

232
00:11:44,179 --> 00:11:47,580
Dave, you give her access
to everything, okay?

233
00:11:47,682 --> 00:11:50,480
I want you guys to think
of her as Nellie Bluth, all right?

234
00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:53,884
In fact, we should probably get an I.D.
With that printed on it, okay?

235
00:11:53,988 --> 00:11:56,422
<i>But she did have a list of "won'ts."</i>

236
00:11:56,524 --> 00:12:00,051
We're gonna have some ground rules
first, okay? No!@%$#

237
00:12:00,161 --> 00:12:02,391
!@%$ing or!@%ting.

238
00:12:02,497 --> 00:12:05,989
<i>And no!@%$#% unless
you're wearing a!@%$#.</i>

239
00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:08,069
Or you!@%$#% before you!@%$ me.

240
00:12:08,169 --> 00:12:12,503
And if this winds up on the Web,
I will!@%$ you in the!@%.

241
00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:15,405
Our computers don't even work on the Internet.

242
00:12:15,510 --> 00:12:18,172
Who's first?

243
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:20,338
<i>Back at the model home,
George Michael was still...</i>

244
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:22,416
<i>trying to make
his accidental marriage work.</i>

245
00:12:22,517 --> 00:12:26,476
I thought maybe tonight we could pop in
an!@%$#%@! in the old DVD player...

246
00:12:26,588 --> 00:12:29,250
and sit and watch it,
maybe just the two of us, husband and wife?

247
00:12:29,357 --> 00:12:32,918
I'm just kidding.
I mean, the State of California isn't, but...

248
00:12:33,027 --> 00:12:34,927
You know, that's what makes it funny.

249
00:12:35,029 --> 00:12:37,497
- I'm worried you're taking this too seriously.
- Are...

250
00:12:37,599 --> 00:12:39,658
Just the opposite.

251
00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:45,701
What the hell is that?

252
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:48,275
I bought you a wedding ring... tone.

253
00:12:48,376 --> 00:12:51,777
Opposite of serious.

254
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:54,974
<i>And Michael was getting an update
on how his newest employee, Nellie...</i>

255
00:12:55,083 --> 00:12:56,983
<i>was working out.</i>

256
00:12:57,085 --> 00:12:59,918
Really? And all the guys like her, huh?
That is... That is great.

257
00:13:00,021 --> 00:13:01,955
Uh, you mean "away" though, right?

258
00:13:02,056 --> 00:13:04,616
Because otherwise
it sounds a little different.

259
00:13:04,726 --> 00:13:07,194
But, uh, that's, uh...
that's outstanding.

260
00:13:07,295 --> 00:13:09,627
Real good.
You forgot to say "away" again.

261
00:13:09,731 --> 00:13:12,666
But, uh, listen, let me call you back
in a bit, okay? Bye.

262
00:13:12,767 --> 00:13:16,464
Nellie has blown them all away.

263
00:13:16,571 --> 00:13:18,471
Yeah, well, I think it's crazy.

264
00:13:18,573 --> 00:13:21,906
You've given her access to everything...
the banking... and for what?

265
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:25,639
You're basing this on the fact she shares a name
with someone you played with as a baby.

266
00:13:25,747 --> 00:13:27,647
Lindsay, I can tell that it's real.

267
00:13:27,749 --> 00:13:30,217
It's like that feeling that
you read about twins having.

268
00:13:30,318 --> 00:13:32,718
We're twins. You didn't give me
access to the banking.

269
00:13:32,821 --> 00:13:36,348
No, you just... you'd go out and you'd
just whore it up, Lindsay, you know?

270
00:13:36,457 --> 00:13:38,584
She's different.
She's a little bit more like me.

271
00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:41,628
- It's like we finish each other's...
- Sandwiches?

272
00:13:41,729 --> 00:13:43,629
Sentences.

273
00:13:43,731 --> 00:13:45,699
- Why would I say...
- Sandwiches?

274
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:48,667
That time I was gonna say sandwiches.

275
00:13:48,770 --> 00:13:51,500
- So I guess you haven't told Nellie
what you're thinking. - No, I have not.

276
00:13:51,606 --> 00:13:53,506
I've been waiting for the right time.

277
00:13:53,608 --> 00:13:56,907
I want to make sure she trusts me, especially
since Dad is probably setting her up.

278
00:13:57,011 --> 00:14:00,879
But I might want to hurry with that operation
because she's charging us a fortune...

279
00:14:00,982 --> 00:14:03,780
and she's got this old boss
that's claiming he wants a percentage.

280
00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:06,046
<i>Yo, man, you owe me money. I ain't no dummy.</i>

281
00:14:06,154 --> 00:14:10,591
<i>And it better be soon, or you're gonna
feel my hand up your!@%$#.</i>

282
00:14:10,692 --> 00:14:13,320
So Nellie wants to meet me tonight
for drinks. Maybe I'll tell her then.

283
00:14:13,428 --> 00:14:16,693
That's funny. I'm going out tonight
for drinks too... with an exciting new man.

284
00:14:16,798 --> 00:14:19,130
Really trying to make
that marriage work, aren't you?

285
00:14:19,234 --> 00:14:22,431
Well, excuse me, Judge Reinhold,
but I'm feeling a little pressure here.

286
00:14:22,537 --> 00:14:25,938
If you had to have sex with Tobias in four months,
you'd be shopping for a way out too.

287
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:29,203
I stand corrected and disgusted.

288
00:14:29,310 --> 00:14:31,540
<i>And Michael arrived
for his meeting with Nellie.</i>

289
00:14:31,646 --> 00:14:33,546
- Are you Michael?
- Yes.

290
00:14:33,648 --> 00:14:36,549
- There's a nellie at the end of the bar
wants to see you. - Great. Thank you.

291
00:14:36,651 --> 00:14:38,380
- Oh, it's Tobias.
- Michael.

292
00:14:38,486 --> 00:14:43,549
Look, this has got to stop. I mean, flattered?
Yes. Interested? Not tonight.

293
00:14:43,658 --> 00:14:45,558
I-I think I-I see what's happening.

294
00:14:45,660 --> 00:14:48,424
- You're meeting girl-Michael at the bar?
- It was her idea.

295
00:14:48,529 --> 00:14:50,895
She wanted to get a drink,
and I know it's crazy.

296
00:14:50,999 --> 00:14:53,593
I mean, I'm married.
And the carbs.

297
00:14:53,701 --> 00:14:56,829
Well, Tobias, sometimes life
is about making difficult...

298
00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:58,906
Sandwiches. I know.

299
00:14:59,007 --> 00:15:01,168
- You read my mind.
- Oh, God. Here she is.

300
00:15:04,045 --> 00:15:06,479
- Next to that guy?
- Uh, what guy?

301
00:15:06,581 --> 00:15:08,481
That guy.

302
00:15:08,583 --> 00:15:11,780
- No, that's her.
- Him?

303
00:15:11,886 --> 00:15:13,786
That's a girl.

304
00:15:13,888 --> 00:15:16,254
I-I think the name Michael
is making you look for a man.

305
00:15:16,357 --> 00:15:19,383
- Think I'm lookin' at a man.
- Michael.

306
00:15:19,494 --> 00:15:21,086
- Yes?
- Yes.

307
00:15:21,195 --> 00:15:23,322
- No, I meant girl-Michael.
- I'm gonna leave you two alone.

308
00:15:23,431 --> 00:15:26,366
So nice to meet you, girl-Michael.

309
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:28,799
What? Yes? Hi, Nellie.

310
00:15:28,903 --> 00:15:31,428
I was thinking that
we could meet down here.

311
00:15:31,539 --> 00:15:33,871
Uh, actually,
I think I'm gonna come up.

312
00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:36,205
I really need to see you.

313
00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:38,541
I really want to see you too.
There's something we need to talk about.

314
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:41,945
- I've always been mildly attracted to you.
- What?

315
00:15:42,050 --> 00:15:44,280
Let's face it. There's no denying
that there's a heat between us.

316
00:15:44,385 --> 00:15:48,287
- I'd like to deny that.
- I know you feel it too... this burning desire.

317
00:15:48,389 --> 00:15:51,916
I-I-I don't feel anything.
I-I feel a burning mutual respect.

318
00:15:52,026 --> 00:15:54,995
I've got an outfit that's gonna turn
that respect into something fun.

319
00:15:55,096 --> 00:15:57,121
Respect is fun, Nellie.

320
00:15:57,231 --> 00:16:00,564
You're gonna want the respect when
you hear where I... Where is the light?

321
00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:02,568
<i>- Don't touch that light!
- What?</i>

322
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:06,470
<i>This is what happens when you steal
from Frank's stable without payin'.</i>

323
00:16:06,574 --> 00:16:08,974
You want to be her pimp,
you gotta settle up with me.

324
00:16:09,077 --> 00:16:11,409
<i>- Pimp? You mean that she's a...
- Lady of the evening.</i>

325
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:15,278
<i>Working girl.
She turns illusions for money.</i>

326
00:16:15,383 --> 00:16:18,147
<i>And that's when
Michael recognized the voice.</i>

327
00:16:18,252 --> 00:16:20,152
- Tricks.
- Wait a minute.

328
00:16:20,254 --> 00:16:22,882
Don't you do it! Ain't nobody gonna
see what Frank look like!

329
00:16:22,991 --> 00:16:26,222
Franklin is Frank?

330
00:16:28,997 --> 00:16:31,363
<i>Michael had
just discovered that his brother...</i>

331
00:16:31,466 --> 00:16:34,367
<i>was the pimp for the woman
he thought was his sister.</i>

332
00:16:34,469 --> 00:16:36,937
What the hell is going on?
Nellie is not a prostitute.

333
00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:40,599
Of course she is. Oh, but I can see
what the misunderstanding is.

334
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:43,836
You didn't know. Maybe we can
give him a family discount!

335
00:16:43,945 --> 00:16:46,243
Family discount is right. This is
the sister that I've been talking about.

336
00:16:46,347 --> 00:16:50,010
Maybe I should've been getting
a family rate. Oh, my God!

337
00:16:50,118 --> 00:16:52,552
- How do you know her?
- Met up with her after a show.

338
00:16:52,653 --> 00:16:54,848
<i>- And you did things with her?
- He didn't.</i>

339
00:16:54,956 --> 00:16:59,359
<i>- I did. - Well, if you consider
crying like a girl doing something.</i>

340
00:16:59,460 --> 00:17:03,590
I just want my brother to respect me,
you know. I don't even have a job.

341
00:17:03,698 --> 00:17:08,362
Look, I could use a man's voice on the phone,
and I like your little puppet show.

342
00:17:08,469 --> 00:17:11,131
Ain't so little when I take my pants off, lady.

343
00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:14,538
I mean, obviously I'd take
some of the cry out of that.

344
00:17:14,642 --> 00:17:16,735
But I am not a pimp, Michael.

345
00:17:16,844 --> 00:17:20,871
She needed protection,
so I make some threats, I wear this hat...

346
00:17:20,982 --> 00:17:23,109
and I collect my 10%.

347
00:17:23,217 --> 00:17:26,880
Yeah, that's a pimp,
and our sister is a prostitute.

348
00:17:26,988 --> 00:17:29,047
- I'm your sister?
- I think so.

349
00:17:29,157 --> 00:17:31,057
I found you in my dad's computer.

350
00:17:31,159 --> 00:17:34,185
I thought that maybe he was embezzling
money and taking advantage of you.

351
00:17:34,295 --> 00:17:37,389
- And that's why I hired you to do
your work at the office. - Oh, my God.

352
00:17:37,498 --> 00:17:39,728
Wait a minute.
What... What kind of work did you do?

353
00:17:39,834 --> 00:17:42,064
No wonder they were so happy.

354
00:17:42,170 --> 00:17:45,731
- I'm so embarrassed!
- Nellie, hang on a second.

355
00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:50,641
You know, Gob, this might be that sign
from God that you should change your ways.

356
00:17:50,745 --> 00:17:53,680
No, I think that's gonna be something big.

357
00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:57,444
<i>Downstairs, meanwhile,
Lindsay arrived at the bar for her date.</i>

358
00:17:57,552 --> 00:18:00,578
- Michael. Oh, my God! My husband!
- Oh, my God! My wife!

359
00:18:00,688 --> 00:18:03,314
- Are you two here for each other?
- Is that what you're doing?

360
00:18:03,424 --> 00:18:05,858
- How dare you!
- How dare you!

361
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,258
- And with another man!
- And with another woman!

362
00:18:08,362 --> 00:18:10,330
Wait, wait.
You didn't plan this together?

363
00:18:10,431 --> 00:18:13,958
- I just assumed you wanted a Holy Trinity.
- Absolutely not!

364
00:18:14,068 --> 00:18:15,968
We're a happily married couple.

365
00:18:16,070 --> 00:18:19,005
Yes, who happen to be very much
in love with each other.

366
00:18:19,107 --> 00:18:22,508
Well, you're still gonna
have to pay Frank.

367
00:18:22,610 --> 00:18:25,579
<i>- And Michael confronted his father.
- I know who N. Bluth is.</i>

368
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:28,114
It is Nellie, and I found her.

369
00:18:28,216 --> 00:18:30,844
That's your sissy cousin Larry.

370
00:18:30,952 --> 00:18:33,443
Even then we knew.
That's why we called him Nellie.

371
00:18:33,554 --> 00:18:36,318
Do you not know that expression, Michael?
I thought we were on the same page here.

372
00:18:36,424 --> 00:18:38,858
It's a nice try, Pop, but in your old computer
I found a Nellie.

373
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,224
You're tryin' to tell me that
that is not my sister?

374
00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:44,298
Yes. It's perfectly innocent.
She's my prostitute.

375
00:18:44,398 --> 00:18:47,856
I'm a red-blooded man. I have certain needs
that your mom can't satisfy.

376
00:18:47,969 --> 00:18:50,267
<i>But sex wasn't one of them.</i>

377
00:18:50,371 --> 00:18:54,273
I just want my brother
to hand me my money.

378
00:18:54,375 --> 00:18:56,707
But he's got that hair.

379
00:18:56,811 --> 00:19:00,679
Why can't I have hair and money,
and him nothing?

380
00:19:00,781 --> 00:19:03,341
She's not my sister. I let her into the company.

381
00:19:03,451 --> 00:19:07,820
- You didn't give her access to the cash, did you?
- She said she liked me.

382
00:19:07,922 --> 00:19:12,950
She's a prostitute. That's her job.
Oh, no. The N. Bluth account.

383
00:19:13,060 --> 00:19:15,722
What? The N. Bluth account?
That is your account?

384
00:19:15,830 --> 00:19:20,028
Maybe. But it's only embezzlement
if you spend it outside the company.

385
00:19:20,134 --> 00:19:22,830
It's gone. It's empty.

386
00:19:22,937 --> 00:19:25,167
- She got to it.
- There goes the company.

387
00:19:25,273 --> 00:19:27,173
Okay. Now, hold on now.

388
00:19:27,275 --> 00:19:30,733
Let's not panic because
I-I know someone who can find her.

389
00:19:30,845 --> 00:19:32,938
- His name is Frank.
- That's Gob's puppet.

390
00:19:34,248 --> 00:19:36,842
I'm going to prison.

391
00:19:36,951 --> 00:19:39,112
You haven't heard from Oscar
lately, have you?

392
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:40,687
- No.
- Okay.

393
00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:43,188
<i>And the next day
Michael returned to the office...</i>

394
00:19:43,291 --> 00:19:46,351
<i>to tell the employees
that Black Friday had indeed arrived.</i>

395
00:19:46,460 --> 00:19:48,360
Hey, Ted. What's goin' on?

396
00:19:48,462 --> 00:19:51,260
Nellie got all of us our checks
and these great new computers.

397
00:19:51,365 --> 00:19:53,890
Excuse me. Nellie, you did this?

398
00:19:54,001 --> 00:19:56,231
I took it out of the N. Bluth account.

399
00:19:56,337 --> 00:19:58,703
If you spend it within the company,
it gives the prosecutors nothing.

400
00:19:58,806 --> 00:20:01,798
Also, it was the only way to get myself
the 10 grand that you owed me.

401
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:04,377
Ten grand? What... What did you
do with these guys exactly?

402
00:20:04,478 --> 00:20:07,709
They mostly just cried.
You've got a real morale problem here.

403
00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:10,978
You cried?

404
00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:14,054
- Listen, I thought that you were going to...
- Steal it?

405
00:20:14,155 --> 00:20:16,385
- Yes.
- But I might be your sister, remember?

406
00:20:16,490 --> 00:20:20,085
The fact that you didn't steal it
might actually be proof that you're not.

407
00:20:20,194 --> 00:20:23,493
Even if we're not related,
I think I would like for you to work here.

408
00:20:23,598 --> 00:20:25,964
You're very, very good at it...

409
00:20:26,067 --> 00:20:29,332
and what you do for a job is not really
a great way to make a living, you know?

410
00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:31,997
- I make 300 grand a year.
- Marry me!

411
00:20:32,106 --> 00:20:35,075
It's weird on so many levels.

412
00:20:35,176 --> 00:20:37,576
<i>On the next Arrested Development.</i>

413
00:20:37,678 --> 00:20:39,646
<i>Gob has a religious conversion.</i>

414
00:20:39,747 --> 00:20:42,238
I've seen a sign,
and I want to make this work.

415
00:20:42,350 --> 00:20:45,615
A committed relationship
that actually means something.

416
00:20:49,190 --> 00:20:51,590
How about you?
You want to do just the two of us?

417
00:20:51,692 --> 00:20:55,321
<i>And Buster's fake coma
is put to its greatest test.</i>

418
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:02,863
<i>- Don't you die on me. Don't you die on me.
- Oh, my.</i>

