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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for QRUS by gybe
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NARRATOR: Michael Bluth
was starting a new job
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00:00:13,001 --> 00:00:15,837
when he received a call
from attorney Barry Zuckerkorn.
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Hello. Michael Bluth,
residential complexes.
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00:00:17,626 --> 00:00:18,945
- (horn honks)
- MAN: Take a picture of this!
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00:00:19,065 --> 00:00:19,742
BARRY:
Hey, Michael.
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00:00:19,837 --> 00:00:21,797
- You're in real estate again?
- Sort of.
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00:00:21,839 --> 00:00:24,258
Michael had tried
to leave real estate behind
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00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:25,801
and get a job
in the high-tech sector.
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00:00:25,843 --> 00:00:27,094
However...
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00:00:27,136 --> 00:00:29,180
I will tell you
that in my last position,
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I had a company car provision.
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00:00:31,182 --> 00:00:33,643
I think we may have something
that can get you a car.
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- Hey, Gare-Bear?
- Yeah?
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00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:36,979
I think we got an ostrich.
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00:00:37,021 --> 00:00:38,606
- Oh, God, grab him.
- What is it?
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Now, with this car,
you may get some stares.
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I'm used to a car
with some stairs.
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NARRATOR:
Albeit one that had trouble
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negotiating
low-hanging obstacles.
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(horn honking)
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(tires squealing)
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Which is why
he'd parted with it.
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MICHAEL: I'm actually working
in high tech,
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00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,627
but it does collide
with real estate.
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This is going to be low.
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Ah, I hooked it.
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NARRATOR:
Michael was driving a car
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00:01:05,049 --> 00:01:06,342
from a company that shows
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00:01:06,384 --> 00:01:08,678
every private residence
in the country.
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But it's also a company
that won't let us
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show the car
that takes those pictures.
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In fairness to them,
it is their property.
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(horn honking)
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If you want to know
what the company is...
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Save it. We're just
going to blur it anyway.
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...all you have to do is...
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"something" it.
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00:01:23,753 --> 00:01:24,920
Barry, you still there?
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00:01:24,962 --> 00:01:27,381
So I got a really
interesting call
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00:01:27,423 --> 00:01:29,550
from Ron Howard, of all people.
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00:01:29,592 --> 00:01:31,260
He's directing now, apparently,
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00:01:31,302 --> 00:01:32,928
and wants to meet you
at his office
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in-- get this-- Beverly Hills.
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- Why does Ron How...
- (horn honks)
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Why does Ron Howard want
to meet with me?
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Oh, I didn't know. His office
didn't say, and if you
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don't mind, I'm a little busy
with a case of my own.
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00:01:42,688 --> 00:01:44,607
Did you get
any other information?
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00:01:44,648 --> 00:01:46,901
Apparently, he directed
a movie called Cocoon.
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MICHAEL:
Sorry. I was unclear
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about why he wants
to meet with me.
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I don't know. You want me to
tell him to go (bleep) himself?
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I can tell Ron Howard
to go (bleep) himself.
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Tell him to shove it
up his (bleep).
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00:01:55,826 --> 00:01:57,078
I just can't do it now
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00:01:57,119 --> 00:01:58,913
because I'm in front of a jury.
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Barry, I will meet with him.
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You're in front of a jury
right now?
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00:02:01,916 --> 00:02:03,751
Oh, and the looks I'm getting.
Got to go.
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Sorry, everybody.
I'm an attorney, too.
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BOB: Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,
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00:02:07,797 --> 00:02:10,508
I'd like the defendant
to reach over the school gate,
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00:02:10,549 --> 00:02:11,926
open it from the inside
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00:02:11,967 --> 00:02:13,886
and enter the school
property, please.
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00:02:13,928 --> 00:02:17,014
I can't reach it.
I can't reach the knob.
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00:02:17,056 --> 00:02:18,766
Why is that,
Mr. Zuckerkorn?
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00:02:18,808 --> 00:02:20,726
- I'm not tall enough.
- You're not tall enough.
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I can't reach the chotchie.
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00:02:22,728 --> 00:02:24,397
Hey, should I try tippy-toe?
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00:02:24,438 --> 00:02:25,940
Look, I'm on tippy-toes.
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00:02:25,981 --> 00:02:27,900
If he can't reach,
this trial's a breach.
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00:02:27,942 --> 00:02:30,486
Ooh, and that's what
we call a Law Bomb.
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00:02:30,528 --> 00:02:31,862
That's a low blow, Loblaw.
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00:02:31,904 --> 00:02:33,114
A Bob Loblaw Law Bomb.
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NARRATOR:
Now the story
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of a wealthy family
who lost everything
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and the one son
who had no choice
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00:02:41,789 --> 00:02:43,874
but to keep them all together.
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00:02:49,422 --> 00:02:51,006
It's...
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00:02:53,134 --> 00:02:55,927
Michael drove to the
North American headquarters
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00:02:55,970 --> 00:02:57,596
of Imagine Entertainment,
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00:02:57,638 --> 00:03:00,391
the modest television
and streaming colossus
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00:03:00,433 --> 00:03:02,768
of Brian Grazer and Ron Howard.
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And got his first taste
of how cruel Hollywood can be.
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That's not very nice.
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KITTY: "Ankles" means "leaves"
in Variety, Michael.
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00:03:10,693 --> 00:03:13,779
Kitty Sanchez.
What are you doing here?
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00:03:13,821 --> 00:03:15,489
I work here. I'm a "D" girl.
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00:03:15,531 --> 00:03:17,116
No, I don't want to see them.
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00:03:17,158 --> 00:03:19,994
I'm not going to show you
my (bleep), you pig.
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It means "development."
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I'm a movie executive.
I work for Ron Howard now.
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NARRATOR: And she'd proven
as loyal to him as she was
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00:03:27,460 --> 00:03:29,961
to her former boss,
Michael's father.
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00:03:30,004 --> 00:03:32,882
But without the
quote, unquote "benefits."
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00:03:32,923 --> 00:03:35,634
Also, Imagine provided
no health benefits.
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00:03:35,676 --> 00:03:37,553
Great for you.
How'd you get this job?
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00:03:37,595 --> 00:03:40,556
Women can be movie executives,
you pig. I knew people.
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You're probably going to call me
a pig for this, too,
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00:03:42,933 --> 00:03:45,519
but are you sure that
you meant to say "knew"?
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She did.
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00:03:47,021 --> 00:03:48,701
The only thing at Imagine
that Kitty blew
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00:03:48,731 --> 00:03:51,567
was smoke up the skirt
of the young woman
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00:03:51,609 --> 00:03:54,445
who hired her,
Michael's niece, Maeby,
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00:03:54,487 --> 00:03:56,780
who was then working
as a film executive.
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My first project
is about my family.
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Ooh!
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00:04:00,075 --> 00:04:01,076
Yeah, which is why I thought
you'd be a perfect assistant--
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00:04:01,118 --> 00:04:02,995
because you know where
all the bodies are buried.
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00:04:03,037 --> 00:04:04,747
And I even helped
bury some of them.
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00:04:04,788 --> 00:04:06,999
Maeby was only 17 at the time.
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00:04:07,041 --> 00:04:08,709
Also, um, can you buy me booze?
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00:04:08,751 --> 00:04:09,960
Totally.
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(whispering):
Whatever else, too.
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00:04:13,047 --> 00:04:15,716
'Cause I can get you smack
or hash or Special K...
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00:04:15,758 --> 00:04:18,594
Unfortunately,
when Maeby was shooting
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00:04:18,636 --> 00:04:23,432
out of town on a picture,
Kitty saw to it...
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00:04:23,474 --> 00:04:25,476
She didn't even get releases
from her family.
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00:04:25,518 --> 00:04:27,019
that Maeby's was one
of the bodies that was buried.
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00:04:27,061 --> 00:04:28,812
And I begged her to.
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And the project got thrown
on the back burner.
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00:04:30,981 --> 00:04:33,734
MICHAEL: Do you have any idea
why Ron Howard wants to see me?
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Believe me, if I could
think like Ron Howard,
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I'd own the second largest
building in Beverly Hills.
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00:04:38,822 --> 00:04:40,741
Only Jerry Bruckheimer's
building
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00:04:40,783 --> 00:04:42,493
was technically taller.
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00:04:42,535 --> 00:04:44,036
But who wants to be
south of Wilshire?
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00:04:44,078 --> 00:04:45,871
WOMAN:
Mr. Howard will see you now.
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00:04:45,913 --> 00:04:48,165
- Oh, great.
- I'll take you to the private elevator.
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00:04:48,207 --> 00:04:51,085
- Thanks.
- Ooh! Going to meet the big man himself.
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00:04:51,126 --> 00:04:54,213
But first, Michael would have
to pass a few little Rons.
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00:04:54,255 --> 00:04:55,506
Michael Bluth.
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00:04:55,548 --> 00:04:57,841
- Hey.
- Hey, nice try, mister.
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00:04:57,883 --> 00:04:59,843
We're never going
to beat the original.
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00:04:59,885 --> 00:05:01,428
- Well, that's what I've been saying.
- Hi. Hey.
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00:05:01,470 --> 00:05:03,055
- Oh, Michael. Hey, thanks
for coming down. - How are you?
138
00:05:03,097 --> 00:05:04,598
- Pleasure to meet you.
- I'm just finishing up
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00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:05,891
casting this
Andy Griffith Show thing.
140
00:05:05,933 --> 00:05:07,101
Okay. Yeah.
141
00:05:07,142 --> 00:05:08,519
Hang on a second.
142
00:05:08,561 --> 00:05:09,922
You guys finally
making that movie?
143
00:05:09,937 --> 00:05:11,778
I've been reading about it
for, like, 40 years.
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00:05:11,814 --> 00:05:13,649
Well, it's not a done deal yet,
145
00:05:13,691 --> 00:05:15,211
- but I want to talk about you.
- Yeah.
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00:05:15,234 --> 00:05:16,902
- Hey, let's go inside the LEM.
- (gasps)
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00:05:16,944 --> 00:05:18,904
- You want to?
- Wow. Is this the one
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00:05:18,946 --> 00:05:20,114
that landed on the moon?
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00:05:20,155 --> 00:05:21,490
On a soundstage.
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00:05:21,532 --> 00:05:22,992
Oh, right, from Apollo 13.
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00:05:23,033 --> 00:05:24,702
No, no, 1969.
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00:05:24,743 --> 00:05:26,620
I'll tell you about it
inside the LEM.
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00:05:26,662 --> 00:05:28,163
It's soundproof in there.
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00:05:28,205 --> 00:05:30,082
And it's a national secret.
155
00:05:30,124 --> 00:05:32,793
So, NASA did go to the moon
in '71.
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00:05:32,835 --> 00:05:34,587
That one was real.
157
00:05:34,628 --> 00:05:36,880
But in '69, they weren't ready,
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00:05:36,922 --> 00:05:40,759
so they faked the whole thing
on the soundstage of Gentle Ben.
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00:05:40,801 --> 00:05:41,885
- Boy.
- Me and my brother,
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00:05:41,927 --> 00:05:43,596
we hid up in the rafters.
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00:05:43,637 --> 00:05:45,014
- We seen the whole thing.
- Ah.
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00:05:45,055 --> 00:05:46,807
But I want to talk to
you about something.
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00:05:46,849 --> 00:05:48,517
Okay.
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00:05:48,559 --> 00:05:50,978
For the last year, I've
been going to Phoenix.
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00:05:51,020 --> 00:05:53,147
Whoa, whoa. Hang on, now.
166
00:05:53,188 --> 00:05:54,648
Are you kidding me?
167
00:05:54,690 --> 00:05:56,317
I'm a... I'm a Phoenix.
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00:05:56,358 --> 00:05:58,736
I've-I've never... I've never
met anyone else in person
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00:05:58,777 --> 00:06:00,057
that, uh...
that also goes there.
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00:06:00,070 --> 00:06:01,697
That's amazing.
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00:06:01,739 --> 00:06:03,949
I guess that's the downside
of going to college online, huh?
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00:06:03,991 --> 00:06:06,035
Well, I... I just got
a sick aunt down there.
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00:06:06,076 --> 00:06:08,203
- Oh, I see.
- But on the last flight,
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00:06:08,245 --> 00:06:09,997
I was flipping
through the magazine,
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00:06:10,039 --> 00:06:11,790
- and I... I saw something.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
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00:06:11,832 --> 00:06:13,626
Not-not...
not the begging photo.
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00:06:13,667 --> 00:06:15,252
Now, I don't think
you know this about me,
178
00:06:15,294 --> 00:06:18,088
but most of my movies are based
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00:06:18,129 --> 00:06:20,174
on still photographs
that I find truly inspiring.
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00:06:20,215 --> 00:06:21,717
NARRATOR:
It was true.
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00:06:21,759 --> 00:06:23,677
Splash was based
on what turned out
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00:06:23,719 --> 00:06:25,763
to be a counterfeit Hockney
183
00:06:25,804 --> 00:06:28,139
that Brian talked Ron
into buying.
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00:06:28,182 --> 00:06:31,602
The Da Vinci Code
was from this photo.
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00:06:31,644 --> 00:06:33,312
RON HOWARD:
You know Willow?
186
00:06:33,354 --> 00:06:36,565
That was from a Soft 'n Snuggly
coupon I got in the mail.
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00:06:36,607 --> 00:06:38,609
But a man who is
passionate enough
188
00:06:38,651 --> 00:06:41,028
to beg, well, that's a character
189
00:06:41,070 --> 00:06:43,280
whose story we really want
to see.
190
00:06:43,322 --> 00:06:45,115
- Really?
- Plus I've been dying to figure out
191
00:06:45,156 --> 00:06:47,158
a way to do something
about the market crash
192
00:06:47,201 --> 00:06:49,201
ever since my partner,
Brian Grazer, was tipped off
193
00:06:49,203 --> 00:06:50,913
that it was three months
away from happening.
194
00:06:50,954 --> 00:06:52,163
What's that?
195
00:06:52,206 --> 00:06:53,999
But I never had a face
to put on it.
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00:06:54,041 --> 00:06:55,959
Until now. You.
197
00:06:56,001 --> 00:06:58,003
Your wife is dying.
198
00:06:58,045 --> 00:06:59,755
You're trying to hold
your family together.
199
00:06:59,797 --> 00:07:01,590
Oh, gosh, no, no, no.
200
00:07:01,632 --> 00:07:04,760
My wife died years before
any... any of this.
201
00:07:04,802 --> 00:07:06,845
Oh, gee.
202
00:07:08,597 --> 00:07:11,016
I think it's a lot more fun
if we see her die.
203
00:07:11,058 --> 00:07:12,726
- That is fun.
- And by the way,
204
00:07:12,768 --> 00:07:15,979
then it's a fantastic part
for a leading lady.
205
00:07:16,021 --> 00:07:18,732
In fact, my girl Rebel
would be great in that part.
206
00:07:18,774 --> 00:07:19,983
Your girl?
207
00:07:20,025 --> 00:07:21,193
Rebel Alley.
208
00:07:21,235 --> 00:07:22,319
She's an actress.
You know her.
209
00:07:22,361 --> 00:07:23,696
NARRATOR:
He didn't.
210
00:07:23,737 --> 00:07:25,030
I do.
Yes, of course I do.
211
00:07:25,072 --> 00:07:26,573
Your girl, huh?
212
00:07:26,615 --> 00:07:28,867
Well, we kind of like
to keep that quiet.
213
00:07:28,909 --> 00:07:30,244
Michael assumed
that by "my girl,"
214
00:07:30,285 --> 00:07:31,870
Ron was referring
to his mistress...
215
00:07:31,912 --> 00:07:34,039
I can see why you're
telling me in the LEM, huh?
216
00:07:34,081 --> 00:07:37,793
...but Ron was actually
talking about his daughter.
217
00:07:37,835 --> 00:07:40,963
You probably think I'm terrible
for even mentioning her to you.
218
00:07:41,004 --> 00:07:42,881
Oh, no, no,
I'm-I'm not one to judge.
219
00:07:42,923 --> 00:07:45,134
I'm sure you've all got girls
up here in Hollywood, huh?
220
00:07:45,175 --> 00:07:47,302
Brian's got two boys.
221
00:07:49,763 --> 00:07:52,141
I think you're a natural
and it could be a great movie.
222
00:07:52,182 --> 00:07:53,726
You know, and-and
it's a real chance
223
00:07:53,767 --> 00:07:55,018
to show you guys off, too.
224
00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:56,270
Us guys?
225
00:07:56,311 --> 00:07:58,731
Well, it's about
the whole family.
226
00:07:58,772 --> 00:08:00,232
Them?
227
00:08:00,274 --> 00:08:01,775
We're going to need
everybody's signature
228
00:08:01,817 --> 00:08:04,653
on these releases in order
to make this story.
229
00:08:04,695 --> 00:08:06,155
Although the real
heartbeat of this thing
230
00:08:06,196 --> 00:08:07,656
is the father-son dynamic.
231
00:08:07,698 --> 00:08:08,991
Yeah. You know, Ron,
232
00:08:09,032 --> 00:08:10,909
I-I don't know if I can do this.
233
00:08:10,951 --> 00:08:12,953
We're not in a great way
right now,
234
00:08:12,995 --> 00:08:14,830
and-and it might not
be worth...
235
00:08:14,872 --> 00:08:17,291
Michael, take a few of these
cards and really think about it.
236
00:08:17,332 --> 00:08:19,293
- All right.
- Yeah, man, I got a tough meeting coming up now.
237
00:08:19,334 --> 00:08:23,213
How do you tell Ed Harris
that he's simply not a Barney?
238
00:08:23,255 --> 00:08:26,258
NARRATOR: And while Ed was
getting some bad news,
239
00:08:26,300 --> 00:08:28,093
Michael got some good news.
240
00:08:28,135 --> 00:08:29,720
Excuse me.
Uh, is this a mistake?
241
00:08:29,762 --> 00:08:31,013
Am I a producer?
242
00:08:31,054 --> 00:08:32,264
It's one of the perks
243
00:08:32,306 --> 00:08:33,891
of having a movie
made about you.
244
00:08:33,932 --> 00:08:35,809
Huh.
245
00:08:35,851 --> 00:08:38,103
Health plan is not
another one, by the way.
246
00:08:38,145 --> 00:08:40,147
There's no health plan.
247
00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:44,610
NARRATOR: Michael had been given
an opportunity
248
00:08:44,651 --> 00:08:47,738
to turn his life around,
and all he had to do
249
00:08:47,780 --> 00:08:49,698
to make it happen was to get
250
00:08:49,740 --> 00:08:51,575
- his family's signatures.
- ...the family signatures,
251
00:08:51,617 --> 00:08:54,244
especially my father's.
252
00:08:54,286 --> 00:08:55,662
BARRY:
Wow, sounds like your thing
253
00:08:55,704 --> 00:08:56,997
went a lot better
than my thing.
254
00:08:57,039 --> 00:08:59,792
Except I haven't spoken
to them for a long time.
255
00:08:59,833 --> 00:09:03,003
I mean, since I...
well, since-since my mom...
256
00:09:03,045 --> 00:09:04,630
Left?
257
00:09:04,671 --> 00:09:06,256
Yeah, for prison, yeah.
258
00:09:06,298 --> 00:09:07,758
You want to know what?
259
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:09,218
Frankly, I think Ron Howard
260
00:09:09,259 --> 00:09:11,637
just wants to get a movie
for his girlfriend.
261
00:09:11,678 --> 00:09:13,847
Oh, it sounds like Ron Howard
is casting with his (bleep).
262
00:09:13,889 --> 00:09:15,682
Well...
263
00:09:15,724 --> 00:09:18,644
it is hard to believe,
but I guess they've all got
264
00:09:18,685 --> 00:09:20,979
their mistresses up here
in showbiz, you know.
265
00:09:21,021 --> 00:09:22,773
It's like it's
their God-given...
266
00:09:22,815 --> 00:09:24,900
Front?
No, right.
267
00:09:24,942 --> 00:09:26,693
- No, right.
- Calm down, everybody, all right?
268
00:09:26,735 --> 00:09:28,296
- I got it. I got it.
- You think my dad
269
00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:30,030
would ever even go
for something like this?
270
00:09:30,072 --> 00:09:32,324
You know, it's very hard
to get a signature out of him.
271
00:09:32,366 --> 00:09:34,159
It's... it's like somebody
a long time ago said...
272
00:09:34,201 --> 00:09:35,994
BOTH: Hey, what if you never
signed anything
273
00:09:36,036 --> 00:09:37,871
because you said you didn't
have a signature?
274
00:09:37,913 --> 00:09:40,123
- Just like you, Pop.
- You... you don't have a signature?
275
00:09:40,165 --> 00:09:41,750
No, and he's never
given me one card.
276
00:09:41,792 --> 00:09:43,168
Not one birthday
card, which is why
277
00:09:43,210 --> 00:09:44,586
his presents are
always money orders.
278
00:09:44,628 --> 00:09:45,796
Right, Pop?
279
00:09:45,838 --> 00:09:47,923
- I don't have a signature.
- Oh!
280
00:09:47,965 --> 00:09:49,758
If you don't sign,
you will be fine.
281
00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:51,134
Hey.
282
00:09:51,176 --> 00:09:52,678
He's very smart.
283
00:09:52,719 --> 00:09:54,388
He's very good.
284
00:09:54,429 --> 00:09:56,014
Can you feel your hands?
285
00:09:56,056 --> 00:09:58,016
I can't feel my pinky
or this one.
286
00:09:58,058 --> 00:09:59,768
MICHAEL: You know what, Barry?
I hear what you're saying.
287
00:09:59,810 --> 00:10:01,687
I... My dad would never do
something like this for me.
288
00:10:01,728 --> 00:10:03,230
I'm going to head back in,
and I'm going to...
289
00:10:03,272 --> 00:10:05,065
I'm going to tell Ron Howard
to forget about it.
290
00:10:05,107 --> 00:10:06,233
- Yeah, you're screwed.
Hey, do me a favor. - Yeah.
291
00:10:06,275 --> 00:10:07,276
- Tell Ron Howard to go
- Okay.
292
00:10:07,317 --> 00:10:08,878
- shove his... (bleep)
- Bye-bye, Barry.
293
00:10:08,902 --> 00:10:11,196
- Oh!
- Sorry. Whoops.
294
00:10:11,238 --> 00:10:12,281
Whoa. Sorry.
That was my fault.
295
00:10:12,322 --> 00:10:13,907
- No.
- I was looking at my phone.
296
00:10:13,949 --> 00:10:15,158
It's not too embarrassing
walking around
297
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,785
with a bunch of photographs
of yourself.
298
00:10:16,827 --> 00:10:18,662
Oh, well, looks like
it's part of your job, huh?
299
00:10:18,704 --> 00:10:21,707
- You're an actress?
- No, I'm a narcissist.
300
00:10:21,748 --> 00:10:24,167
Yeah, actually, "actress"
is an overstatement because...
301
00:10:24,209 --> 00:10:25,752
Ugh. Thank you.
302
00:10:25,794 --> 00:10:27,880
I was just sucking at
this audition I went on.
303
00:10:27,921 --> 00:10:30,883
It was one of these ridiculous
meet-cute clichés,
304
00:10:30,924 --> 00:10:33,010
where a guy and a girl
just, you know...
305
00:10:33,051 --> 00:10:35,220
they bump into each
other, and they...
306
00:10:35,262 --> 00:10:37,180
they fall in love.
307
00:10:37,222 --> 00:10:39,808
God, you're handsome.
308
00:10:39,850 --> 00:10:42,060
I got a...
maybe a lucky hair day.
309
00:10:42,102 --> 00:10:43,395
You're the beautiful one.
310
00:10:43,437 --> 00:10:46,231
You have beautiful eyes.
311
00:10:46,273 --> 00:10:49,276
My deceased wife had red hair.
312
00:10:49,318 --> 00:10:51,194
Yep, garbage like that.
313
00:10:51,236 --> 00:10:53,196
And it's so unbelievable.
314
00:10:53,238 --> 00:10:54,799
Like, they never get
each other's names.
315
00:10:54,823 --> 00:10:56,825
Pretty stupid. Whoops. Gosh.
316
00:10:56,867 --> 00:10:58,785
- Oh... oh! Ow!
- Oh! Are you okay?
317
00:10:58,827 --> 00:11:00,227
- That really hurt.
- Ooh. You okay?
318
00:11:00,245 --> 00:11:01,914
I wish I had done that
well in the audition.
319
00:11:01,955 --> 00:11:05,334
Where's a movie producer
when you need one, right?
320
00:11:05,375 --> 00:11:06,960
Well, it was really
nice to meet you.
321
00:11:07,002 --> 00:11:08,462
Yes, you, too.
322
00:11:09,504 --> 00:11:10,964
I'm a "moobie" producer.
323
00:11:11,006 --> 00:11:12,341
Sorry. I'm a movie...
324
00:11:12,382 --> 00:11:13,800
Here, I've got...
325
00:11:13,842 --> 00:11:15,802
I've got proof here, huh?
326
00:11:15,844 --> 00:11:17,179
- Oh, you are a movie producer.
- Yeah.
327
00:11:17,220 --> 00:11:19,097
Yeah, there's a part
for a wife,
328
00:11:19,139 --> 00:11:21,099
and you'd be perfect
for the movie.
329
00:11:21,141 --> 00:11:23,226
(chuckling)
330
00:11:23,268 --> 00:11:25,187
Do you like Scottish music?
331
00:11:25,228 --> 00:11:27,898
Uh, with the screeching horns
and the silly...
332
00:11:27,940 --> 00:11:29,900
Yeah. I'm in a band.
333
00:11:29,942 --> 00:11:31,735
I love it. It's great.
334
00:11:31,777 --> 00:11:33,403
We're playing at the Ealing
Club tomorrow night, and...
335
00:11:33,444 --> 00:11:35,446
maybe you could come and...
and just check it out.
336
00:11:35,489 --> 00:11:37,448
Oh, yeah?
I don't even know what that is.
337
00:11:37,491 --> 00:11:38,784
(laughing)
338
00:11:38,825 --> 00:11:40,118
I should've... Sorry.
339
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:41,370
That's funny.
I should have said "where."
340
00:11:41,411 --> 00:11:42,955
Of course, I know what it is.
341
00:11:42,996 --> 00:11:44,539
No, it's on the top
of that building.
342
00:11:44,581 --> 00:11:46,959
- Okay.
- But can you imagine driving that car?
343
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,252
No, I can't. No.
344
00:11:49,294 --> 00:11:52,005
NARRATOR: It wasn't until
Michael had walked
345
00:11:52,047 --> 00:11:54,549
two blocks past the
California Pizza Kitchen
346
00:11:54,591 --> 00:11:56,051
when this happened.
347
00:11:56,093 --> 00:11:57,928
♪ Hey, I met a girl today ♪
348
00:11:57,970 --> 00:11:59,137
♪ And her name is... ♪
349
00:11:59,179 --> 00:12:00,471
(bleep)
350
00:12:00,514 --> 00:12:03,474
So Michael went back
to find her
351
00:12:03,517 --> 00:12:05,557
or, at the very least,
try looking for a head shot
352
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:08,021
- with her name on it.
- Nothing, huh?
353
00:12:08,063 --> 00:12:08,939
She was super-pretty,
red hair...
354
00:12:08,981 --> 00:12:10,107
But even without her name,
355
00:12:10,148 --> 00:12:12,150
he knew his only chance
with her
356
00:12:12,192 --> 00:12:13,986
was to be a real producer,
and that meant
357
00:12:14,027 --> 00:12:16,446
getting a signature
from a father whose face
358
00:12:16,487 --> 00:12:17,447
he hadn't seen in ages.
359
00:12:17,488 --> 00:12:18,782
LUCILLE 2:
Oh, you're making me dizzy!
360
00:12:18,824 --> 00:12:20,450
And that's when he
suddenly did.
361
00:12:20,491 --> 00:12:22,452
LUCILLE 2: We have
to keep this quiet!
362
00:12:22,493 --> 00:12:24,246
Dad?
363
00:12:24,287 --> 00:12:27,249
No, no.
364
00:12:27,290 --> 00:12:29,292
- Hi.
- LUCILLE 2: Don't say I'm down here.
365
00:12:29,334 --> 00:12:31,378
- Right here.
- Hey.
366
00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:33,296
What's going on?
367
00:12:33,338 --> 00:12:34,923
I just came back to get, uh...
368
00:12:34,965 --> 00:12:36,174
LUCILLE 2 (whispering):
Don't acknowledge me.
369
00:12:36,216 --> 00:12:37,968
...get some suits, you know,
370
00:12:38,010 --> 00:12:40,220
so I can look like the uptight,
371
00:12:40,262 --> 00:12:43,056
dishonest, cheating boob
that I am.
372
00:12:43,098 --> 00:12:45,350
Well, I never said "boob."
373
00:12:45,392 --> 00:12:47,436
Although you are in
the wrong Lucille's apartment,
374
00:12:47,477 --> 00:12:49,855
so unless you're looking
for a Bob Mackie original,
375
00:12:49,896 --> 00:12:51,398
could be some truth
to the cheating part.
376
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,066
Yeah, well, I was
in the desert,
377
00:12:53,108 --> 00:12:54,443
and I've lost my
sense of direction.
378
00:12:54,484 --> 00:12:56,085
- (clears throat)
- Hey. Where you going?
379
00:12:56,111 --> 00:12:57,320
Dad.
380
00:12:58,321 --> 00:12:59,948
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
381
00:12:59,990 --> 00:13:01,158
Listen.
382
00:13:01,199 --> 00:13:02,909
You're getting divorced.
383
00:13:02,951 --> 00:13:05,078
I am not one to judge.
384
00:13:06,371 --> 00:13:07,998
Great to see you again.
385
00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:10,000
The past is the past, and
things have worked out,
386
00:13:10,042 --> 00:13:12,044
and I've met a
wonderful woman named...
387
00:13:12,085 --> 00:13:15,464
Don't worry about that,
but I'm a movie producer now.
388
00:13:15,505 --> 00:13:17,340
Unbelievable.
389
00:13:17,382 --> 00:13:20,010
They're making a movie
out of my life.
390
00:13:20,052 --> 00:13:22,054
The girl I met is perfect
to play my wife.
391
00:13:22,095 --> 00:13:23,847
And it's... I don't know.
392
00:13:23,889 --> 00:13:25,974
Can you believe it?
And I know what you're thinking:
393
00:13:26,016 --> 00:13:28,268
- "Can you put me in it?"
- I don't care.
394
00:13:28,310 --> 00:13:29,519
Do I have what I hope I've got?
395
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:30,979
Anybody who's getting
in the movie
396
00:13:31,021 --> 00:13:32,522
needs to sign this.
397
00:13:32,563 --> 00:13:34,357
It's a simple signature.
398
00:13:34,399 --> 00:13:35,942
I think that everybody
needs to see
399
00:13:35,984 --> 00:13:37,319
who the real George
Sr. is, don't you?
400
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:41,865
I think it would all depend
on how George Sr. was portrayed.
401
00:13:41,907 --> 00:13:43,366
Well...
402
00:13:43,408 --> 00:13:48,413
he is not the most
positive character, but...
403
00:13:48,455 --> 00:13:51,374
you sign this, and I
don't see any reason
404
00:13:51,416 --> 00:13:54,544
why we can't make him
seem very, very, uh...
405
00:13:54,585 --> 00:13:56,338
uh, you know...
406
00:13:56,379 --> 00:13:58,924
uh...
407
00:13:58,965 --> 00:14:00,926
uh...
408
00:14:00,967 --> 00:14:02,886
uh...
409
00:14:08,683 --> 00:14:10,477
...nice.
410
00:14:10,519 --> 00:14:12,354
- Go to hell.
- Huh?
411
00:14:12,395 --> 00:14:14,397
NARRATOR:
Michael was actually relieved.
412
00:14:14,439 --> 00:14:15,565
You go to hell.
413
00:14:15,606 --> 00:14:17,484
He had no idea how he was
414
00:14:17,526 --> 00:14:19,528
going to make
his father seem nice.
415
00:14:21,822 --> 00:14:23,824
NARRATOR: Michael Bluth
was starting his new life
416
00:14:23,865 --> 00:14:26,868
as a producer in-- get this--
Beverly Hills
417
00:14:26,910 --> 00:14:30,330
without the signature
he needed to make it happen.
418
00:14:30,372 --> 00:14:32,958
Your office is only
one floor below Ron Howard's.
419
00:14:32,999 --> 00:14:34,709
Oh, yeah?
420
00:14:34,751 --> 00:14:37,712
Must be a pretty important
project to him, then, huh?
421
00:14:37,754 --> 00:14:40,257
- That's one possibility.
- (bell dings)
422
00:14:40,298 --> 00:14:42,300
Watch your head.
423
00:14:42,342 --> 00:14:44,219
Are these ceilings
a little lower?
424
00:14:44,261 --> 00:14:46,012
Brian and Ron
wanted the ceiling
425
00:14:46,054 --> 00:14:48,765
in their office to be
a few inches taller,
426
00:14:48,807 --> 00:14:50,725
but, apparently, Bruckheimer
knows someone on city council
427
00:14:50,767 --> 00:14:52,727
and they wouldn't let them
make the building taller.
428
00:14:52,769 --> 00:14:54,312
So Ron said,
"(bleep) you, Jerry,"
429
00:14:54,354 --> 00:14:56,731
and he went lower
with his floor.
430
00:14:56,773 --> 00:14:58,441
Everybody wins, huh?
431
00:14:58,483 --> 00:15:00,902
- Here we are.
- Oh. That's me, huh?
432
00:15:00,944 --> 00:15:03,280
Oh. Ceilings
are even lower in here.
433
00:15:03,321 --> 00:15:06,199
Yeah, your office
is right below Brian's.
434
00:15:06,241 --> 00:15:07,826
He wanted his ceiling
435
00:15:07,868 --> 00:15:09,369
just a few inches
taller than Ron's.
436
00:15:09,411 --> 00:15:11,413
- Okay.
- Some internal competition.
437
00:15:11,454 --> 00:15:13,456
- Kind of like between us.
- Yeah.
438
00:15:13,498 --> 00:15:16,877
- Wait, what?
- Well, you have a family to track down.
439
00:15:16,918 --> 00:15:18,962
Yeah, I do.
Hey, speaking of that...
440
00:15:19,004 --> 00:15:22,048
Kitty, is there... is there
a directory of actresses,
441
00:15:22,090 --> 00:15:24,050
- with pictures in it, that I could...
- Wow.
442
00:15:24,092 --> 00:15:26,011
Starting with the
casting couch already.
443
00:15:26,052 --> 00:15:27,304
No, no, no, no.
Nothing like that.
444
00:15:27,345 --> 00:15:28,889
I met... I met this
unbelievable woman
445
00:15:28,930 --> 00:15:30,765
that would be perfect
for the part of my wife.
446
00:15:30,807 --> 00:15:32,350
And even if she isn't, I'd love
447
00:15:32,392 --> 00:15:33,894
to track her down, so...
448
00:15:33,935 --> 00:15:35,729
an actual couch could
be useful, please.
449
00:15:35,770 --> 00:15:36,938
Okay, you're funny.
450
00:15:36,980 --> 00:15:38,180
This is Imagine Entertainment,
451
00:15:38,190 --> 00:15:40,192
not the hot tub
at Bruckheimer Tower.
452
00:15:40,233 --> 00:15:41,985
We make family movies,
453
00:15:42,027 --> 00:15:43,486
you (bleep) (bleep)
(bleep) pig.
454
00:15:43,528 --> 00:15:45,739
- Okay.
- So, why don't you not worry
455
00:15:45,780 --> 00:15:47,866
about casting your movie,
and instead just get
456
00:15:47,908 --> 00:15:49,451
the rights to your family,
and, of course,
457
00:15:49,492 --> 00:15:52,245
if you need any help at all,
I would love to help you.
458
00:15:52,287 --> 00:15:54,080
- We like to pull together around here.
- Watch your back.
459
00:15:54,122 --> 00:15:56,082
No, you watch your back, mister!
460
00:15:56,124 --> 00:15:57,792
If you screw up
this project for me,
461
00:15:57,834 --> 00:15:59,753
I will bury you
farther underground
462
00:15:59,794 --> 00:16:01,963
than I did your illiterate
little niece!
463
00:16:02,005 --> 00:16:03,798
Hi, guys.
464
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:06,009
NARRATOR: With Michael's movie
in jeopardy
465
00:16:06,051 --> 00:16:09,429
over the rights,
he decided to call in a favor.
466
00:16:09,471 --> 00:16:11,181
MICHAEL:
You know, we're making a movie
467
00:16:11,223 --> 00:16:12,807
about the family, and I thought,
468
00:16:12,849 --> 00:16:14,100
"I wonder if Carl Weathers
469
00:16:14,142 --> 00:16:15,727
would be willing
to help me out."
470
00:16:15,769 --> 00:16:17,896
- Let me ask you this right up front.
- Okay.
471
00:16:17,938 --> 00:16:20,357
Do you think
anybody would be upset
472
00:16:20,398 --> 00:16:22,776
if one of these Crinch
dolls took a walk?
473
00:16:22,817 --> 00:16:25,320
No, no, no, no, help yourself.
474
00:16:25,362 --> 00:16:26,863
I know what you're thinking.
475
00:16:26,905 --> 00:16:28,990
"What part
would I play in this?"
476
00:16:29,032 --> 00:16:31,034
I figured you'd
want me to play me.
477
00:16:31,076 --> 00:16:33,536
Well, I... I didn't want
to waste you on you.
478
00:16:33,578 --> 00:16:35,413
In fact, I wasn't even going
to talk to you about acting,
479
00:16:35,455 --> 00:16:37,540
but if you are game,
boy, that would be great.
480
00:16:37,582 --> 00:16:38,917
Let's circle back to that.
481
00:16:38,959 --> 00:16:40,877
There's a television show,
was it,
482
00:16:40,919 --> 00:16:43,380
that you made about my family.
483
00:16:43,421 --> 00:16:46,383
NARRATOR: Michael was referring
to the George Bluth Sr. episode
484
00:16:46,424 --> 00:16:49,594
of a horribly narrated
crime reenactment series
485
00:16:49,636 --> 00:16:51,263
called Scandalmakers
486
00:16:51,304 --> 00:16:53,348
that Carl had directed
years earlier.
487
00:16:53,390 --> 00:16:55,767
Did you retain the rights
to my father's story?
488
00:16:55,809 --> 00:16:57,394
Nah, man, rights cost money.
489
00:16:57,435 --> 00:16:58,853
I never bothered
with that stuff.
490
00:16:58,895 --> 00:17:00,063
I figure you go ahead,
you shoot it.
491
00:17:00,105 --> 00:17:03,024
Better to ask for forgiveness
than beg for permission.
492
00:17:03,066 --> 00:17:04,943
NARRATOR:
As it turned out, Carl
493
00:17:04,985 --> 00:17:07,112
had never bothered
to get either,
494
00:17:07,153 --> 00:17:08,905
which is why he made himself
the subject
495
00:17:08,947 --> 00:17:11,366
of the final episode
of the series.
496
00:17:11,408 --> 00:17:14,369
Lee Nails, only pressed on once.
(chuckles)
497
00:17:14,411 --> 00:17:16,371
Carl, we're at a swap meet.
498
00:17:16,413 --> 00:17:18,164
Okay.
There he is.
499
00:17:18,206 --> 00:17:20,000
- Carl Weathers.
- Mr. Weathers-- Carl Weathers.
500
00:17:20,041 --> 00:17:22,252
You've been accused
of producing a television show
501
00:17:22,294 --> 00:17:24,296
based on real-life events
for which you've done
502
00:17:24,337 --> 00:17:28,466
none of the due diligence
in securing the rights thereto.
503
00:17:28,508 --> 00:17:30,176
I only have one question.
504
00:17:30,218 --> 00:17:31,511
Can I have your rights?
505
00:17:31,553 --> 00:17:33,013
- Of course.
- Of course, Carl Weathers.
506
00:17:33,054 --> 00:17:34,389
CARL:
Cut!
507
00:17:34,431 --> 00:17:36,224
Now we'll move on,
do a little voice-over.
508
00:17:36,266 --> 00:17:37,350
How much are these belts?
509
00:17:37,392 --> 00:17:39,185
- Oh, oh, oh, God.
- DeBrie!
510
00:17:39,227 --> 00:17:40,937
Her heart stopped.
She's (bleep) dying.
511
00:17:40,979 --> 00:17:43,148
Oh, hey, Dave,
you shaved, I like it.
512
00:17:43,189 --> 00:17:44,607
Please get the paddles!
513
00:17:44,649 --> 00:17:46,401
Oh, hey, Mike.
How was Ojai?
514
00:17:46,443 --> 00:17:47,861
MICHAEL:
But, Carl, the whole point
515
00:17:47,902 --> 00:17:49,529
of the movie is that
it's a true story,
516
00:17:49,571 --> 00:17:50,613
so I need the rights.
517
00:17:50,655 --> 00:17:52,157
- (laughing)
- Don't I?
518
00:17:52,198 --> 00:17:55,535
Man, you're as green
as old lady Crinch.
519
00:17:55,577 --> 00:17:58,830
Come on, people don't go
to movies to see rights.
520
00:17:58,872 --> 00:18:00,915
People go to movies
to see actors.
521
00:18:00,957 --> 00:18:02,959
Now, who you got
as scriptwriter?
522
00:18:03,001 --> 00:18:04,044
NARRATOR: And that's
when Michael remembered
523
00:18:04,085 --> 00:18:06,087
that he did know one member
524
00:18:06,129 --> 00:18:08,173
- of the Writers Guild.
- The eye is falling off this one.
525
00:18:08,214 --> 00:18:10,884
You mind if I swap it out,
you know, for the restaurant?
526
00:18:10,925 --> 00:18:12,010
Swap it.
527
00:18:12,052 --> 00:18:13,261
And I thought, who's going
528
00:18:13,303 --> 00:18:15,138
to get it right the first time?
529
00:18:15,180 --> 00:18:16,598
Because I don't want
to give a lot of notes.
530
00:18:16,639 --> 00:18:18,224
And then it came to me.
531
00:18:18,266 --> 00:18:20,935
Who knows my father better
than Warden Gentles?
532
00:18:20,977 --> 00:18:24,314
Hold on one second.
533
00:18:24,356 --> 00:18:26,316
"The first time."
534
00:18:26,358 --> 00:18:27,442
Yeah.
535
00:18:27,484 --> 00:18:28,484
My grandson gave me this,
536
00:18:28,485 --> 00:18:30,362
but I guarantee you,
give me an old Royal
537
00:18:30,403 --> 00:18:31,988
and a glass of Scotch,
and I'll give you
538
00:18:32,030 --> 00:18:35,241
250 pages where
the lightning hits the tree.
539
00:18:35,283 --> 00:18:37,202
- That's not what we do here.
- I mean,
540
00:18:37,243 --> 00:18:38,411
where the drop hits the pond.
541
00:18:38,453 --> 00:18:39,913
- That's it.
- I apologize.
542
00:18:39,954 --> 00:18:41,164
I've had a few meetings today.
543
00:18:41,206 --> 00:18:42,165
Then...
544
00:18:42,207 --> 00:18:43,541
the yellow robot gets mad
545
00:18:43,583 --> 00:18:44,959
at the pink robot--
546
00:18:45,001 --> 00:18:46,544
- That does...
- correction...
547
00:18:46,586 --> 00:18:48,088
the purple robot.
548
00:18:48,129 --> 00:18:50,965
Sorry, I'm,
I'm back to back today.
549
00:18:51,007 --> 00:18:52,050
I bet.
550
00:18:52,092 --> 00:18:53,176
I'm gonna be honest with you.
551
00:18:53,218 --> 00:18:54,344
You're not charring my tree,
552
00:18:54,386 --> 00:18:56,888
and... yeah,
553
00:18:56,930 --> 00:18:58,850
Jerry's not gonna come
off the boat for this one.
554
00:18:58,890 --> 00:19:00,392
MICHAEL: This is basically
a story about
555
00:19:00,433 --> 00:19:02,310
- Mm-hmm.
- a fellow like myself
556
00:19:02,352 --> 00:19:03,561
- and his father
- Mm-hmm.
557
00:19:03,603 --> 00:19:05,021
and their friend Carl Weathers.
558
00:19:05,063 --> 00:19:06,648
I'm not entirely sure
559
00:19:06,689 --> 00:19:10,110
how to organically work him
into the, to the story.
560
00:19:10,151 --> 00:19:11,361
Uh, you know,
maybe he's teaching them
561
00:19:11,403 --> 00:19:13,196
lessons or something.
562
00:19:13,238 --> 00:19:15,532
Anyway, I'm gonna leave that
up to your capable hands.
563
00:19:15,573 --> 00:19:18,368
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait a minute.
564
00:19:18,410 --> 00:19:19,494
I've turned it off again.
565
00:19:19,536 --> 00:19:21,496
Yeah, those are tricky.
566
00:19:21,538 --> 00:19:22,914
Might I suggest
567
00:19:22,956 --> 00:19:24,999
bringing in someone younger
to play the father--
568
00:19:25,041 --> 00:19:26,668
a Philip Seymour Hoffman type?
569
00:19:26,709 --> 00:19:28,628
A Philip Seymour Hoffman type.
570
00:19:28,670 --> 00:19:29,629
And so, naturally,
571
00:19:29,671 --> 00:19:31,005
I-I thought of you.
572
00:19:31,047 --> 00:19:32,632
Well, you know,
I'm a married man,
573
00:19:32,674 --> 00:19:34,259
so I don't really
keep a directory
574
00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:36,136
of attractive young
actresses around.
575
00:19:36,177 --> 00:19:38,096
- Okay.
- I mean, are you really planning
576
00:19:38,138 --> 00:19:40,932
on using her, or is it like
Conan with the girl writers?
577
00:19:40,974 --> 00:19:42,308
It doesn't matter, it...
578
00:19:42,350 --> 00:19:43,977
I-I'm here to talk
to you about a movie
579
00:19:44,018 --> 00:19:45,353
that we're gonna make
about the family,
580
00:19:45,395 --> 00:19:46,646
and I thought
that it might be really fun
581
00:19:46,688 --> 00:19:48,231
for us to work together again.
582
00:19:48,273 --> 00:19:50,483
Help me remember.
What did we do together?
583
00:19:50,525 --> 00:19:52,986
You came over for a chicken
and ham-water dinner
584
00:19:53,027 --> 00:19:55,067
that my family threw to raise
some funds for itself.
585
00:19:55,071 --> 00:19:56,531
And they're finally
getting around
586
00:19:56,573 --> 00:19:58,241
to making a movie of that, huh?
587
00:19:58,283 --> 00:19:59,534
There's more to it than that.
588
00:19:59,576 --> 00:20:01,077
It's, it's about
a young man trying
589
00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:03,580
to get out from under
his domineering father
590
00:20:03,621 --> 00:20:05,422
while dealing
with the slow death of his wife.
591
00:20:05,457 --> 00:20:07,167
That just saved me 12 bucks.
592
00:20:07,208 --> 00:20:09,294
I'm not going to see it.
593
00:20:09,335 --> 00:20:11,254
I'm not asking you to see it;
I'd like for you to be in it.
594
00:20:11,296 --> 00:20:13,631
No offense, I have a job.
I mean, I have a good thing.
595
00:20:13,673 --> 00:20:15,091
- Oh, hey, Mr. O'Brien.
- Hey, how's it going?
596
00:20:15,133 --> 00:20:17,010
- Real good.
- Andy, quick note.
597
00:20:17,051 --> 00:20:19,512
Uh, just 'cause I look at you
when we're doing the show
598
00:20:19,554 --> 00:20:21,764
and ask you a question doesn't
mean you have to respond.
599
00:20:21,806 --> 00:20:23,683
Sometimes it's funny
when you don't say anything,
600
00:20:23,725 --> 00:20:26,144
and the audience gets
to think, "Hey,
601
00:20:26,186 --> 00:20:27,645
Andy really is stupid."
602
00:20:27,687 --> 00:20:28,771
(laughs)
603
00:20:28,813 --> 00:20:30,482
- Gets a big laugh.
- (chuckles)
604
00:20:30,523 --> 00:20:32,317
- Hey, you're new.
- I've been here a year.
605
00:20:32,358 --> 00:20:34,486
(laughing):
And you're funny, too.
606
00:20:34,527 --> 00:20:35,778
Let's get you set up
in a writer's office.
607
00:20:35,820 --> 00:20:37,655
Oh, you can have Andy's
if you don't mind
608
00:20:37,697 --> 00:20:39,449
the smell of bologna.
609
00:20:39,491 --> 00:20:41,284
I'm in.
610
00:20:41,326 --> 00:20:44,829
♪ You're simply the best... ♪
611
00:20:44,871 --> 00:20:47,582
NARRATOR: Michael had assembled
his dream team,
612
00:20:47,624 --> 00:20:50,293
and now it was time
to wow his boss.
613
00:20:50,335 --> 00:20:51,896
Excuse me, sir,
could you turn that off,
614
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:52,879
please?
615
00:20:52,921 --> 00:20:55,340
Oh, I thought
that was playing in here.
616
00:20:55,381 --> 00:20:57,800
Sorry, it was a slide show
of my granddaughter's--
617
00:20:57,842 --> 00:20:59,677
daughter's graduation
from college.
618
00:20:59,719 --> 00:21:01,054
- Sure. - Michael.
- High school.
619
00:21:01,095 --> 00:21:03,097
- Hi.
- Did you get the signatures?
620
00:21:03,139 --> 00:21:05,642
Better-- I put together
the core team: acting
621
00:21:05,683 --> 00:21:07,560
- and writing.
- ANDY: You guys do remember
622
00:21:07,602 --> 00:21:10,230
I have to be back in Burbank
by 1:00 every day, right?
623
00:21:10,271 --> 00:21:11,648
- We've got that, uh-huh.
- I'm looking forward to this.
624
00:21:11,689 --> 00:21:13,441
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- This is happening.
625
00:21:13,483 --> 00:21:15,235
- It is happening.
- It's happening.
626
00:21:15,276 --> 00:21:16,277
Dude, you are moving
way too fast.
627
00:21:16,319 --> 00:21:17,529
Maybe by Hollywood standards,
628
00:21:17,570 --> 00:21:19,822
you know, but, Kitty, I come
from the business community,
629
00:21:19,864 --> 00:21:22,867
where sometimes you have to
show it to him already built.
630
00:21:22,909 --> 00:21:24,744
Still think
you're going to bury me?
631
00:21:24,786 --> 00:21:27,872
Well, Michael, you may not
have your father's signature,
632
00:21:27,914 --> 00:21:30,416
but you sure have
his signature style.
633
00:21:30,458 --> 00:21:31,793
Cue the music.
634
00:21:33,211 --> 00:21:35,672
I think I just deleted my pitch.
635
00:21:35,713 --> 00:21:37,799
NARRATOR: As it turns out,
it wouldn't matter.
636
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:39,842
(elevator bell dings)
637
00:21:39,884 --> 00:21:41,678
Uh-oh.
638
00:21:41,719 --> 00:21:43,846
Hello, think there's a problem
with the elevator.
639
00:21:43,888 --> 00:21:45,390
Do you have
a scheduled appointment?
640
00:21:45,431 --> 00:21:46,792
N-No, we're here
to see Ron Howard.
641
00:21:46,808 --> 00:21:48,851
This is the untitled
Michael B. project.
642
00:21:48,893 --> 00:21:50,645
I'm actually a producer here.
How are you?
643
00:21:50,687 --> 00:21:51,854
I've got the office
just below the sunken
644
00:21:51,896 --> 00:21:53,273
living room there in Brian's.
645
00:21:53,314 --> 00:21:54,774
We're here to pitch
Ron the movie.
646
00:21:54,816 --> 00:21:56,317
I'm sorry, sir, this is
a restricted floor.
647
00:21:56,359 --> 00:21:57,860
RON:
Louisa, it's all right.
648
00:21:57,902 --> 00:22:00,280
For crying out loud,
I'm not the king of England.
649
00:22:00,321 --> 00:22:02,448
- Ah, there he is, hey, Ron.
- Oh, did you get that signature?
650
00:22:02,490 --> 00:22:04,242
You know, I've got
something better--
651
00:22:04,284 --> 00:22:05,577
take a look.
652
00:22:05,618 --> 00:22:07,328
Andy Richter?
653
00:22:07,370 --> 00:22:09,455
I'm out, (bleep) it, I'm out.
654
00:22:09,497 --> 00:22:11,165
Not married to Andy,
655
00:22:11,207 --> 00:22:13,543
- but what I do have is the writer.
- Stephan Gentles,
656
00:22:13,585 --> 00:22:15,795
Warden, East Orange County
Department of Corrections
657
00:22:15,837 --> 00:22:19,716
and writer of multiple episodes
of Rocko's Modern Life.
658
00:22:19,757 --> 00:22:21,384
Well, everybody's got
to start somewhere.
659
00:22:21,426 --> 00:22:24,262
(laughs)
As long as I don't end up there.
660
00:22:24,304 --> 00:22:26,764
I'll have 25 pages on your desk
by tomorrow morning.
661
00:22:26,806 --> 00:22:28,391
Gosh, that's
662
00:22:28,433 --> 00:22:29,809
- putting the cart before the horse.
- Oh, yeah.
663
00:22:29,851 --> 00:22:32,312
Loo-Look who I've got
to play Carl Weathers.
664
00:22:32,353 --> 00:22:33,396
Oh, is that Cuba?
665
00:22:33,438 --> 00:22:34,814
No, no, n-n-no,
that's not Cuba.
666
00:22:34,856 --> 00:22:37,483
I did not want to
waste Cuba on Carl.
667
00:22:37,525 --> 00:22:38,776
This is Carl Weathers.
668
00:22:38,818 --> 00:22:40,695
Oh, sure, Carl.
669
00:22:40,737 --> 00:22:42,530
You know, I thought it was Cuba
670
00:22:42,572 --> 00:22:44,324
with the perfect
Carl Weathers makeup.
671
00:22:44,365 --> 00:22:47,493
No, no, no, no, Cuba doesn't
have that kind of range.
672
00:22:47,535 --> 00:22:48,911
The thing is,
I really do insist
673
00:22:48,953 --> 00:22:51,205
- on controlling the casting myself.
- I get it. - I'm out.
674
00:22:51,247 --> 00:22:53,448
I thought maybe if you just saw
the whole team together.
675
00:22:53,458 --> 00:22:54,917
BRIAN:
Team, what team?
676
00:22:54,959 --> 00:22:56,461
I should be informed
of all meetings.
677
00:22:56,502 --> 00:22:57,837
Hey, Cuba, how you doing?
678
00:22:57,879 --> 00:22:59,881
Oh, Brian, you know Carl
Weathers, Stephan Gentles,
679
00:22:59,922 --> 00:23:01,674
Andy Richter,
and Michael Booth.
680
00:23:06,220 --> 00:23:08,348
I'm gonna skip this one.
681
00:23:08,389 --> 00:23:09,807
Good to see you, Brian.
682
00:23:09,849 --> 00:23:11,893
You know, Ron, I think
it might be easier to talk
683
00:23:11,934 --> 00:23:13,728
if we just come up
just the rest of the way.
684
00:23:13,770 --> 00:23:14,979
Oh, thanks.
685
00:23:15,021 --> 00:23:17,815
Yeah, the elevator's been kooky
since we lowered that floor...
686
00:23:17,857 --> 00:23:19,651
but maybe
once you get that signature.
687
00:23:19,692 --> 00:23:21,235
It might be kind of tricky.
688
00:23:21,277 --> 00:23:22,612
They're all down
in Orange County.
689
00:23:22,654 --> 00:23:24,572
- Tough to get down there.
- Oh, hey, B.
690
00:23:24,614 --> 00:23:26,240
- Yeah. - We must have an office
down there somewhere.
691
00:23:26,282 --> 00:23:27,283
Yeah, we'll stick you someplace.
692
00:23:27,325 --> 00:23:28,368
Yeah.
693
00:23:28,409 --> 00:23:29,535
We'll stick you someplace.
694
00:23:34,207 --> 00:23:36,000
NARRATOR:
Michael was starting work
695
00:23:36,042 --> 00:23:38,168
at his new show business office
696
00:23:38,211 --> 00:23:40,588
- at Orange County Imagine.
- Charles Dawkins.
697
00:23:40,630 --> 00:23:43,591
And his office was already
receiving a lot of visitors.
698
00:23:43,633 --> 00:23:45,927
Don't get comfortable.
Sir, thank you, no.
699
00:23:45,968 --> 00:23:47,261
But mostly because
of the sign's similarity
700
00:23:47,303 --> 00:23:48,971
to that of this institution,
701
00:23:49,013 --> 00:23:51,432
which also received
some confused visitors.
702
00:23:51,474 --> 00:23:52,892
An embolism?
703
00:23:52,934 --> 00:23:54,352
I-I was just here
to pitch a game show.
704
00:23:54,394 --> 00:23:56,771
Go right out this way,
sir, thank you.
705
00:23:56,813 --> 00:23:57,939
- But can I leave a sample?
- It's generous
706
00:23:57,980 --> 00:23:59,982
of you, but they're gonna be
much better
707
00:24:00,024 --> 00:24:02,235
with it down there at Imaging.
708
00:24:02,276 --> 00:24:04,557
And that's when Michael got
his most unexpected visitor.
709
00:24:08,074 --> 00:24:10,326
Dad, what are you doing here?
710
00:24:10,368 --> 00:24:14,288
I wanted to speak
to you in person.
711
00:24:14,330 --> 00:24:16,290
I think that you're
a little late, okay?
712
00:24:16,332 --> 00:24:19,919
Because I went to you
for a simple signature,
713
00:24:19,961 --> 00:24:22,588
not so I could just make
a movie about the family,
714
00:24:22,630 --> 00:24:24,257
but so that I can move on
with my life,
715
00:24:24,298 --> 00:24:26,175
and you told me to go to hell.
716
00:24:26,216 --> 00:24:28,094
Yeah, you know, sometimes,
when I'm caught off guard,
717
00:24:28,136 --> 00:24:30,430
I say things I don't mean.
718
00:24:30,471 --> 00:24:32,140
This is a horrible
little office.
719
00:24:32,181 --> 00:24:33,861
So you're here to apologize,
is that right?
720
00:24:33,891 --> 00:24:36,853
Yes, and I, uh, brought
you a peace offering.
721
00:24:36,894 --> 00:24:39,021
Tetas Gigantes?
722
00:24:39,063 --> 00:24:40,189
You hate it, right?
723
00:24:40,230 --> 00:24:41,649
Well, it's, it's Mexican porn.
724
00:24:41,691 --> 00:24:44,193
You know, you are
impossible to buy for.
725
00:24:44,234 --> 00:24:45,445
Just, uh, give it to me.
726
00:24:45,486 --> 00:24:46,529
- No, no, oh.
- No, no, no, give...
727
00:24:46,571 --> 00:24:48,406
- No, no, no.
- See, this is the (bleep) kayak
728
00:24:48,448 --> 00:24:50,116
- all over again.
- Dad, I apologize.
729
00:24:50,158 --> 00:24:52,076
I was saying it was
a very original gift.
730
00:24:52,118 --> 00:24:53,243
No, no, no.
You'll never use it.
731
00:24:53,286 --> 00:24:56,246
I will use it, except
for maybe Señor Señoritas.
732
00:24:56,289 --> 00:24:58,124
I live in Mexico now
733
00:24:58,166 --> 00:25:00,334
and I, I don't always
know how to ask
734
00:25:00,376 --> 00:25:01,961
- exactly for what I want.
- Understandable.
735
00:25:02,003 --> 00:25:03,588
And that's almost over now,
736
00:25:03,629 --> 00:25:07,508
which is what I came
to talk to you about.
737
00:25:07,550 --> 00:25:09,135
Do you know a guy
named Herbert Love?
738
00:25:09,177 --> 00:25:10,386
I know a lot of people, sure,
739
00:25:10,428 --> 00:25:12,262
'cause I'm a big producer now.
740
00:25:12,305 --> 00:25:13,890
- Yeah?
- He ate a mouse.
741
00:25:13,931 --> 00:25:16,309
Let's grab a coffee.
742
00:25:16,350 --> 00:25:18,060
Okay, so I guess things
haven't been going
743
00:25:18,102 --> 00:25:19,520
that well for me.
744
00:25:19,562 --> 00:25:21,981
And you didn't feel
you could tell me that?
745
00:25:22,023 --> 00:25:23,273
That's why I haven't
heard from you?
746
00:25:23,316 --> 00:25:25,193
I guess I was afraid
that if I admitted
747
00:25:25,234 --> 00:25:26,569
Sudden Valley was a failure...
748
00:25:26,611 --> 00:25:29,238
- Told you so.
- ...you might say, "I told you so."
749
00:25:29,279 --> 00:25:32,492
Well, then, you don't
know me at all.
750
00:25:32,533 --> 00:25:34,410
It's all right, it's my fault. I
bit off more than I could chew.
751
00:25:34,452 --> 00:25:36,162
I mean, I lied
about being a big shot
752
00:25:36,204 --> 00:25:39,332
to impress this girl
whose name I don't even know.
753
00:25:39,373 --> 00:25:42,460
I've got this crazy idea
that I'm gonna turn into a star
754
00:25:42,502 --> 00:25:45,087
with a film that I can't
get made 'cause I can't get
755
00:25:45,129 --> 00:25:46,506
my own father's signature
on, on, on a release.
756
00:25:46,547 --> 00:25:48,174
- It's like, you know...
- Shh, shh, shh...
757
00:25:48,216 --> 00:25:52,553
I didn't know it was
about lying to a girl.
758
00:25:52,595 --> 00:25:55,556
Give me the release.
759
00:25:55,598 --> 00:25:56,974
You'd do this for me?
760
00:25:57,016 --> 00:25:58,976
Of course I will.
761
00:25:59,018 --> 00:26:00,978
NARRATOR: And so, with his
father's rights in hand,
762
00:26:01,020 --> 00:26:03,022
Michael the producer headed up
763
00:26:03,064 --> 00:26:05,483
to find his lady
"Cinderella Man"
764
00:26:05,525 --> 00:26:07,109
at the Ealing Club,
765
00:26:07,151 --> 00:26:08,945
an exclusive show business
hangout.
766
00:26:08,986 --> 00:26:10,112
Ron Howard.
767
00:26:10,154 --> 00:26:11,656
Oh, thank you.
768
00:26:11,697 --> 00:26:14,242
No, it's Michael Bluth. Hi.
769
00:26:14,283 --> 00:26:15,660
Oh, I remember.
770
00:26:15,701 --> 00:26:17,411
I did it.
771
00:26:17,453 --> 00:26:18,454
I got my father's signature.
772
00:26:18,496 --> 00:26:20,081
You know, you said
you wanted to focus
773
00:26:20,122 --> 00:26:21,415
on the father-son relationship,
and I love it.
774
00:26:21,457 --> 00:26:23,125
Who's not going to
be able to relate
775
00:26:23,167 --> 00:26:24,418
to a son standing up to
his self-centered father?
776
00:26:24,460 --> 00:26:26,003
Sure.
777
00:26:26,045 --> 00:26:27,505
But the father-son relationship
I was interested in
778
00:26:27,547 --> 00:26:31,341
was not you and your father,
it was you and your son.
779
00:26:31,384 --> 00:26:33,511
You're the father.
780
00:26:33,553 --> 00:26:36,346
But that would make
my son the son.
781
00:26:36,389 --> 00:26:37,598
Bingo.
782
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:39,308
NARRATOR:
Michael had to decide
783
00:26:39,349 --> 00:26:41,477
whether being a producer
was worth invading
784
00:26:41,519 --> 00:26:45,690
the privacy of a son who had
kicked him out for that reason.
785
00:26:45,731 --> 00:26:47,233
I don't think I can do it.
I don't think I can go...
786
00:26:47,275 --> 00:26:48,985
I can't go to my son.
787
00:26:49,026 --> 00:26:51,361
That's, uh-- I just--
I don't even think
788
00:26:51,404 --> 00:26:53,614
that it's worth it just to say
that I'm a producer, like...
789
00:26:53,656 --> 00:26:54,991
- It's your call.
- Yeah.
790
00:26:55,032 --> 00:26:58,953
Maybe the real estate business
will come around soon.
791
00:26:58,995 --> 00:27:01,080
Will it?
792
00:27:01,122 --> 00:27:04,959
I could never reveal that
information to a non-producer.
793
00:27:05,001 --> 00:27:06,210
NARRATOR:
And then he heard something
794
00:27:06,252 --> 00:27:08,378
that made him change his mind.
795
00:27:08,421 --> 00:27:09,755
Michael?
796
00:27:09,797 --> 00:27:12,174
Mr. Moobie Producer.
797
00:27:12,216 --> 00:27:13,426
That's me.
798
00:27:15,678 --> 00:27:19,098
NARRATOR:
And like all bagpipe music,
799
00:27:19,140 --> 00:27:21,517
it was hard to tell if it was
good music played horribly
800
00:27:21,559 --> 00:27:24,353
or horrible music played well,
801
00:27:24,394 --> 00:27:26,063
but Michael was eager
to find out
802
00:27:26,105 --> 00:27:28,274
her name
when she was introduced
803
00:27:28,316 --> 00:27:30,109
at the end of the set.
804
00:27:31,319 --> 00:27:32,570
And tonight on bagpipes...
805
00:27:33,446 --> 00:27:34,655
(goat bleats)
806
00:27:37,575 --> 00:27:39,785
NARRATOR:
But he got to know her anyway.
807
00:27:39,827 --> 00:27:41,746
Fantastic.
808
00:27:41,787 --> 00:27:43,539
I'm only doing this
in between movies,
809
00:27:43,581 --> 00:27:46,292
which, given how badly I bombed
at that audition yesterday,
810
00:27:46,334 --> 00:27:48,044
it's going to be a while.
811
00:27:48,085 --> 00:27:49,419
Yeah, you shouldn't worry
about that, you're gonna get
812
00:27:49,462 --> 00:27:51,047
something.
You know, sometimes
813
00:27:51,088 --> 00:27:52,757
even students make films.
814
00:27:52,798 --> 00:27:54,258
(laughs)
815
00:27:54,300 --> 00:27:56,010
Yeah, that's really funny.
816
00:27:56,052 --> 00:27:58,054
I just could put
your name in for something.
817
00:27:58,095 --> 00:27:59,180
I do know Ron Howard.
818
00:27:59,221 --> 00:28:01,474
(laughs)
819
00:28:01,515 --> 00:28:03,225
Love that I make you laugh.
820
00:28:03,267 --> 00:28:05,394
You seriously would be
great for this part.
821
00:28:05,435 --> 00:28:07,271
You remind me of the person
that, that it's based on.
822
00:28:07,313 --> 00:28:09,690
Uh, she, she actually
dies on camera.
823
00:28:09,732 --> 00:28:10,691
Wow.
824
00:28:10,733 --> 00:28:12,276
Make her mentally challenged
825
00:28:12,318 --> 00:28:13,611
and I'll thank you
in my Oscar speech.
826
00:28:13,653 --> 00:28:14,820
There's a part like that, too,
827
00:28:14,862 --> 00:28:16,781
only she-she comes in later
828
00:28:16,822 --> 00:28:19,659
and she's British,
so she doesn't seem...
829
00:28:19,700 --> 00:28:21,494
No one could ever tell
that she's disabled.
830
00:28:21,535 --> 00:28:23,496
I haven't been in work mode
for a while to be honest.
831
00:28:23,537 --> 00:28:26,165
I've been, I've been
raising my son.
832
00:28:26,207 --> 00:28:27,541
Oh, you have a son?
I have a son.
833
00:28:27,583 --> 00:28:29,210
- You do?
- Oh, yeah, we've got a little issue,
834
00:28:29,251 --> 00:28:30,211
though, right now.
835
00:28:30,252 --> 00:28:31,379
Let me guess.
836
00:28:31,420 --> 00:28:32,755
He's pushing you away?
837
00:28:32,797 --> 00:28:34,715
- Yes.
- My son practically
838
00:28:34,757 --> 00:28:36,759
kicked me out of his school
the other day.
839
00:28:36,801 --> 00:28:39,261
That is literally
what my son did to me.
840
00:28:39,303 --> 00:28:40,721
Then I said to him,
841
00:28:40,763 --> 00:28:42,473
"You have no privacy from me."
842
00:28:42,515 --> 00:28:44,183
That's what I should do.
843
00:28:44,225 --> 00:28:45,476
Lem's six in August.
844
00:28:45,518 --> 00:28:46,477
Yours?
845
00:28:46,519 --> 00:28:48,354
- Seven in July.
- Aw...
846
00:28:48,396 --> 00:28:49,647
NARRATOR:
Michael regretted the lie,
847
00:28:49,689 --> 00:28:51,649
so he sort of split
the difference.
848
00:28:51,691 --> 00:28:54,193
Teen-- 17
849
00:28:54,235 --> 00:28:55,403
- in July.
- Oh.
850
00:28:55,444 --> 00:28:56,779
They grow up so fast,
don't they?
851
00:28:56,821 --> 00:28:59,156
Oh, wow.
852
00:28:59,198 --> 00:29:01,784
Well, I guess you got to move
on with your life sometime.
853
00:29:02,827 --> 00:29:05,204
Yes.
854
00:29:05,246 --> 00:29:08,582
Yes, you do.
855
00:29:08,624 --> 00:29:10,584
Oh, n-no, you know what?
856
00:29:10,626 --> 00:29:13,504
I don't think that this
is-- it's not a good idea.
857
00:29:13,546 --> 00:29:15,297
This is a great idea.
Why don't you think this is
858
00:29:15,339 --> 00:29:16,841
- a great idea?
- 'Cause people can see.
859
00:29:16,882 --> 00:29:18,718
- Nobody can see.
- Oh, God.
860
00:29:18,759 --> 00:29:20,720
Wow, you weren't kidding
861
00:29:20,761 --> 00:29:23,139
when you said you had
a part for me.
862
00:29:23,180 --> 00:29:24,724
- That was absolutely insane.
- Thanks.
863
00:29:24,765 --> 00:29:27,101
I've never done anything
that crazy before.
864
00:29:27,143 --> 00:29:28,269
- Perfect.
- I want to do a lot more of that.
865
00:29:28,310 --> 00:29:29,395
I want to see you again.
866
00:29:29,437 --> 00:29:31,230
I want to take you out
to a nice dinner.
867
00:29:31,272 --> 00:29:32,565
- Oh.
- So, then, uh...
868
00:29:32,606 --> 00:29:35,484
Well, this will have
to tide you over until then.
869
00:29:35,526 --> 00:29:37,278
Oh, look at those.
870
00:29:37,319 --> 00:29:38,654
Boy, without this, I wouldn't
know you had a tattoo.
871
00:29:38,696 --> 00:29:39,905
Oh, anyone that gets
that much clothing
872
00:29:39,947 --> 00:29:41,824
off me better know my name.
873
00:29:41,866 --> 00:29:42,867
(moans)
874
00:29:42,908 --> 00:29:45,244
- Good night.
- Good night.
875
00:29:46,454 --> 00:29:50,291
NARRATOR: And that's when
Michael finally saw her name.
876
00:29:50,332 --> 00:29:51,876
Oh, my God.
877
00:29:54,295 --> 00:29:56,255
I'm dating
Ron Howard's girlfriend.
878
00:29:56,297 --> 00:29:58,424
NARRATOR:
Actually she's his daughter.
879
00:29:58,466 --> 00:30:01,969
But that's kind of worse,
don't you think?
880
00:30:05,931 --> 00:30:07,767
Michael starts
to really learn the business.
881
00:30:07,808 --> 00:30:09,477
We can keep going around
another 20 minutes, if you want,
882
00:30:09,518 --> 00:30:10,853
but I know what
I'm talking about.
883
00:30:10,895 --> 00:30:13,481
I just went through this
last week with a guy.
884
00:30:13,522 --> 00:30:15,357
That is a hernia.
885
00:30:15,399 --> 00:30:16,942
I'm gonna send you to my guy
over at Hoag Hospital.
886
00:30:16,984 --> 00:30:18,360
They call him the
Bulge Whisperer.
887
00:30:18,402 --> 00:30:20,738
He does 20 of these a week.
888
00:30:20,780 --> 00:30:22,782
NARRATOR: And after failing to
get back to Burbank on time,
889
00:30:22,823 --> 00:30:24,617
Andy calls in a favor
890
00:30:24,658 --> 00:30:26,243
from his identical
quintuplet brother Rocky.
891
00:30:26,285 --> 00:30:28,287
All right, my next guest
is a famous pilot
892
00:30:28,329 --> 00:30:31,707
who safely crashed his plane
into the Hudson River.
893
00:30:31,749 --> 00:30:33,292
That's kind of a
coincidence, Andy.
894
00:30:33,334 --> 00:30:35,795
We've got a pilot
who crashes planes,
895
00:30:35,836 --> 00:30:38,798
and you're an actor
who crashes pilots.
896
00:30:38,839 --> 00:30:41,717
And Rocky hurts two nice
red-haired guys' feelings...
897
00:30:41,759 --> 00:30:43,511
Yeah, that's really funny.
898
00:30:43,552 --> 00:30:45,346
You know what else
would be funny?
899
00:30:45,387 --> 00:30:47,264
If I ripped that red rug
right off your head
900
00:30:47,306 --> 00:30:49,892
and turned you into Ron Howard.
901
00:30:49,934 --> 00:30:53,302
...while getting the biggest
laugh of Andy's career.
902
00:30:53,767 --> 00:31:03,391
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www.addic7ed.com
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