﻿1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:09,150
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>
Resync for QRUS by gybe

2
00:00:10,417 --> 00:00:13,880
NARRATOR: George Sr. had come
to a political fund-raiser

3
00:00:13,922 --> 00:00:16,674
to get support
for a wall project...

4
00:00:16,716 --> 00:00:18,551
LUCILLE: To separate
the U.S. and Mexico.

5
00:00:18,593 --> 00:00:20,220
NARRATOR:...that some
considered insensitive...

6
00:00:20,262 --> 00:00:22,055
- Which was my idea!
- Was your idea.

7
00:00:22,097 --> 00:00:24,891
- NARRATOR:...even though he himself...
- Oh. Tender.

8
00:00:24,933 --> 00:00:26,893
was feeling more sensitive
by the day.

9
00:00:26,935 --> 00:00:28,395
Curious feeling.

10
00:00:28,436 --> 00:00:30,563
But he tried to muster
the old self-confidence

11
00:00:30,605 --> 00:00:32,399
for his face time
with Herbert Love.

12
00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:34,943
GEORGE SR.: And I-I just think
there will be a lot of support

13
00:00:34,984 --> 00:00:37,820
flowing in this relationship,
and your base...

14
00:00:37,862 --> 00:00:39,614
You got a point
behind all those teeth of yours?

15
00:00:39,655 --> 00:00:41,366
(laughs)
If you support the wall,

16
00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:42,909
I'll give you
a piece of the action.

17
00:00:42,951 --> 00:00:44,911
- Action? Action Jackson?
- Yeah.

18
00:00:44,953 --> 00:00:47,080
- Yes, sir.
- What do I look like, Carl Weathers to you?

19
00:00:47,122 --> 00:00:49,416
- Oh, no, no.
- NARRATOR: Not at all.

20
00:00:49,456 --> 00:00:51,458
- No.
- This, of course, is Herbert Love.

21
00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:52,877
My name is Herbert Love,
and I want you

22
00:00:52,919 --> 00:00:54,462
to say "high-low"
to my low-high plan.

23
00:00:54,503 --> 00:00:56,256
A candidate
whose campaign slogan

24
00:00:56,298 --> 00:00:59,592
was embraced by everyone
from the very wealthy...

25
00:00:59,634 --> 00:01:01,177
And who doesn't want
a high income?

26
00:01:01,219 --> 00:01:03,430
...to their bankers
and tax attorneys.

27
00:01:03,471 --> 00:01:06,349
High-low, high-low,
it's off to work I go--for you.

28
00:01:06,391 --> 00:01:07,475
My name is Herbert Love,

29
00:01:07,516 --> 00:01:09,644
and I most definitely
approve this message.

30
00:01:09,685 --> 00:01:12,814
Do I look like someone
who eats at CW Swappigans?

31
00:01:12,855 --> 00:01:14,232
See, I stand for three things:

32
00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:16,859
one, getting
Barack Hussein Obama

33
00:01:16,901 --> 00:01:19,946
Wama Comma Mama on a Llama
out of office...

34
00:01:19,988 --> 00:01:22,240
It's a crazy-town name.

35
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:23,950
Two, low taxes
for high income earners.

36
00:01:23,992 --> 00:01:25,118
That's my low-high plan.

37
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,412
- I know it.
- And three,

38
00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:29,247
getting a little something
in my slushie fund

39
00:01:29,289 --> 00:01:30,832
so that I'm nice and loose

40
00:01:30,873 --> 00:01:32,708
and can help make
numbers one and two happen.

41
00:01:32,750 --> 00:01:35,502
I don't want to be the one to
say it, but I happen to be fond

42
00:01:35,544 --> 00:01:37,588
of redheads and greenbacks.

43
00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:39,174
- NARRATOR: George Sr. had neither.
- Oh, I-I...

44
00:01:39,215 --> 00:01:40,967
- How would you like both?
- Get it for me tonight,

45
00:01:41,009 --> 00:01:42,385
and I'll make your wall thing

46
00:01:42,427 --> 00:01:43,886
the third point
of my three-point plan.

47
00:01:43,928 --> 00:01:45,638
All I got right now is:
"You want to reach

48
00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:48,391
"your hand into my pocket
to pay for your birth control?

49
00:01:48,433 --> 00:01:51,436
I get to put my hand
in your pocket to put it in."

50
00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:53,480
But when unveiled it
in Garden Grove,

51
00:01:53,521 --> 00:01:55,731
I had to duck a
woman's pump and a mini pizza.

52
00:01:55,773 --> 00:01:57,566
Oops.

53
00:01:57,608 --> 00:01:59,110
NARRATOR:
Coming up with money, however,

54
00:01:59,152 --> 00:02:01,029
would be difficult
for George Sr.,

55
00:02:01,070 --> 00:02:03,614
who hadn't been acting
like his old self--

56
00:02:03,656 --> 00:02:04,991
something his twin brother
Oscar had done

57
00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:07,410
- You know, the wall.
- much more successfully

58
00:02:07,452 --> 00:02:08,911
earlier that day,
when, in retribution...

59
00:02:08,953 --> 00:02:10,372
Have you baked your brain
in that pizza oven?

60
00:02:10,413 --> 00:02:12,040
...to a brother
who lied to him...

61
00:02:12,081 --> 00:02:13,291
So he only did buy that land
for personal gain.

62
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,168
Well... Oscar.

63
00:02:15,210 --> 00:02:16,890
- (chuckles) Oscar.
- ...Oscar chose to lie

64
00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:19,547
- with George's wife.
- Call me Father B.

65
00:02:19,588 --> 00:02:23,510
And, although too explicit
for an American audience,

66
00:02:23,551 --> 00:02:26,429
the lovemaking was intense
and beautiful

67
00:02:26,471 --> 00:02:28,390
but for one small
misunderstanding

68
00:02:28,431 --> 00:02:31,267
that occurred
during the afterglow.

69
00:02:32,394 --> 00:02:34,103
No. I-I mean...

70
00:02:34,145 --> 00:02:35,688
it's good to be out of that

71
00:02:35,730 --> 00:02:37,399
sweaty old hot box
at the compound.

72
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:39,734
No, this was am...
this was amazing.

73
00:02:39,775 --> 00:02:41,403
NARRATOR: And Oscar finally got
more information

74
00:02:41,444 --> 00:02:43,029
- Speaking of that...
- about his brother's plans.

75
00:02:43,071 --> 00:02:45,948
...we may need to have
a president ready to go

76
00:02:45,990 --> 00:02:47,950
if something should happen
to Lucille 2

77
00:02:47,992 --> 00:02:49,702
while we're building the wall.

78
00:02:49,744 --> 00:02:51,620
So we are building a wall.

79
00:02:51,662 --> 00:02:53,164
Right where Oscar

80
00:02:53,206 --> 00:02:55,458
thought he would be spending
the rest of his life.

81
00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:57,043
(Lucille laughs)

82
00:02:57,085 --> 00:02:59,462
Turn him around three times
and put him in Fullerton,

83
00:02:59,504 --> 00:03:01,130
- he won't know the difference.
- Fullerton.

84
00:03:01,172 --> 00:03:04,800
You know, I think we should
send our son down there.

85
00:03:04,842 --> 00:03:07,845
Give him some training,
show that he has a job,

86
00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:09,055
let him sweat a little.

87
00:03:09,097 --> 00:03:10,181
Buster? No, no.

88
00:03:10,223 --> 00:03:11,558
I won't... I won't hear of it.

89
00:03:11,598 --> 00:03:12,808
It could kill him.

90
00:03:12,850 --> 00:03:14,436
I meant Gob.

91
00:03:14,477 --> 00:03:15,937
Oh. Oh, fine.

92
00:03:15,978 --> 00:03:18,605
Yeah, send him down.
I love that.

93
00:03:18,647 --> 00:03:20,316
NARRATOR:
Now the story of a family

94
00:03:20,358 --> 00:03:22,902
whose future
was abruptly canceled

95
00:03:22,944 --> 00:03:25,154
and the one father
who had no choice

96
00:03:25,196 --> 00:03:27,449
but to keep himself together.

97
00:03:30,535 --> 00:03:33,538
It's George Sr.'s...

98
00:03:36,124 --> 00:03:39,502
Unaware that he was being
cuckolded by his brother,

99
00:03:39,544 --> 00:03:40,920
George Sr. was struggling

100
00:03:40,962 --> 00:03:43,339
to find money
to bribe Herbert Love.

101
00:03:43,381 --> 00:03:44,715
Didn't someone die
in one of these things?

102
00:03:44,757 --> 00:03:46,426
Oh, no, not in one of ours.

103
00:03:46,468 --> 00:03:48,803
Although his pitch had lost
some of its luster.

104
00:03:48,844 --> 00:03:51,764
And, you know, I mean, it's
better than dying in the snow.

105
00:03:51,806 --> 00:03:54,476
I mean, not...
not-not that you'll die,

106
00:03:54,517 --> 00:03:57,437
but if you had to choose,
uh, I mean...

107
00:03:57,479 --> 00:03:59,397
- Brr, you know?
- Hmm.

108
00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:01,149
Well, I'll think about it.

109
00:04:01,190 --> 00:04:02,817
Would you like a mini-quiche?

110
00:04:02,858 --> 00:04:04,486
Oh, I'm so sorry.

111
00:04:04,527 --> 00:04:08,030
I thought you were a successful
Republican strategist.

112
00:04:08,072 --> 00:04:10,199
- I'm so sorry.
- Why, 'cause I'm black?

113
00:04:10,241 --> 00:04:11,826
Oh, no...

114
00:04:11,867 --> 00:04:13,744
NARRATOR:
It was over.

115
00:04:13,786 --> 00:04:15,997
But at least
he could go home...

116
00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:17,373
Cindy's going to love these.

117
00:04:17,415 --> 00:04:19,167
Excuse me, Red,
you're not the only one

118
00:04:19,208 --> 00:04:21,544
- who likes coconut shrimp.
- ...with some coconut shrimp.

119
00:04:21,586 --> 00:04:23,171
(laughs) Well, I should have
known you'd be here,

120
00:04:23,212 --> 00:04:25,965
supporting this right-wing,
dangerous crackpot.

121
00:04:26,007 --> 00:04:29,302
Lindsay, I forgot--
you dyed your hair.

122
00:04:29,344 --> 00:04:31,262
What are you doing here?

123
00:04:31,304 --> 00:04:32,888
I'm supporting Love, as well.

124
00:04:32,930 --> 00:04:34,599
We're both doing that.

125
00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:36,934
Oh, honey, I-I've wanted
to contact you

126
00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:39,812
every single day since last May.

127
00:04:39,854 --> 00:04:41,856
I haven't seen you
since January.

128
00:04:41,897 --> 00:04:45,360
Yeah, the first four months,
I was in denial. How are you?

129
00:04:45,401 --> 00:04:46,694
Are... are you good?

130
00:04:46,735 --> 00:04:48,488
Do you have any money?

131
00:04:48,530 --> 00:04:50,156
Not really.

132
00:04:50,198 --> 00:04:51,699
- Oh.
- Oh, except for

133
00:04:51,740 --> 00:04:53,576
a $50, 000 check

134
00:04:53,618 --> 00:04:56,454
your wife sent to my daughter
for plastic surgery.

135
00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:58,956
What kind of a woman does that?

136
00:04:58,998 --> 00:05:01,209
I thought there
was no money left.

137
00:05:01,250 --> 00:05:02,502
Oh, no. Oh, no.

138
00:05:02,544 --> 00:05:04,003
Oh, that's awful.

139
00:05:04,045 --> 00:05:06,172
I mean, she's just precious
the way she is.

140
00:05:06,214 --> 00:05:08,341
Does Maisie even know
about this?

141
00:05:08,383 --> 00:05:09,592
No, thank God.

142
00:05:09,634 --> 00:05:11,260
And her name is Maeby.

143
00:05:11,302 --> 00:05:13,804
You don't think Maisie's cuter?

144
00:05:13,846 --> 00:05:16,474
You know what I want to do?
I want to take this,

145
00:05:16,516 --> 00:05:19,352
and I want to deposit it
in a trust fund

146
00:05:19,394 --> 00:05:23,147
that she can't open
until she's 21.

147
00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:26,108
- I guess I can't use it anyway.
- Are you kidding me?

148
00:05:26,150 --> 00:05:29,778
You are the most beautiful
little girl I know.

149
00:05:29,820 --> 00:05:31,030
And if you have any more work,

150
00:05:31,072 --> 00:05:32,365
your cartilage
is going to collapse.

151
00:05:32,407 --> 00:05:33,824
Let me see if I can...

152
00:05:33,866 --> 00:05:35,618
- There you go.
- NARRATOR: And that's when

153
00:05:35,660 --> 00:05:38,079
George Sr. finally tipped
a black man.

154
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,205
- Got the check.
- HERBERT: ...okay?

155
00:05:39,247 --> 00:05:40,206
Ooh! Hey, you got the check.

156
00:05:40,248 --> 00:05:41,249
Third party.

157
00:05:41,290 --> 00:05:42,958
Oh, man.

158
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:47,171
- I am going to put this on my wall.
- Oh...

159
00:05:47,213 --> 00:05:50,007
NARRATOR: George Sr.
left the hotelhoping he'd

160
00:05:50,049 --> 00:05:54,053
- accomplished something.
- (thunder rumbling)

161
00:05:54,095 --> 00:05:56,138
And on the news the next day...

162
00:05:56,180 --> 00:05:57,682
HERBERT:
We have got...

163
00:05:57,724 --> 00:06:01,894
to build a wall
between us and Mexico.

164
00:06:01,936 --> 00:06:03,521
NARRATOR:
...he found out he had.

165
00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:05,273
- (laughs) Yes!
- And aside from hating

166
00:06:05,314 --> 00:06:07,525
the wrinkles he saw
in the rearview mirror

167
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:11,362
around his eyes and brow,
George Sr. was happy.

168
00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:13,740
♪ All you need is smiles ♪

169
00:06:15,491 --> 00:06:17,993
♪ Lots and lots
of smiley smiles ♪

170
00:06:18,035 --> 00:06:19,245
♪ All you need is... ♪

171
00:06:19,287 --> 00:06:22,373
What the (bleep)
is he smiling about?

172
00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:23,916
Hello!

173
00:06:23,958 --> 00:06:25,627
Oh, we're just doing a survey

174
00:06:25,668 --> 00:06:26,919
for the U.S. government, ma'am.

175
00:06:26,961 --> 00:06:29,213
(laughing):
Oh, no, I-I'm a man.

176
00:06:29,255 --> 00:06:31,882
I was just wearing,
uh, this blouse

177
00:06:31,924 --> 00:06:34,761
because I was, uh, driving
and I hate my arms.

178
00:06:34,801 --> 00:06:36,178
What's the tape for?

179
00:06:36,220 --> 00:06:37,639
Laying out border coordinates

180
00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:39,307
for when they put up the wall.

181
00:06:39,348 --> 00:06:41,684
Shh! You're not supposed
to tell them what it's for.

182
00:06:41,726 --> 00:06:43,227
Well, he already
mentioned the tape,

183
00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:44,520
and he looks American.

184
00:06:44,562 --> 00:06:46,564
- Yeah, but he's in Mexico.
- Wait.

185
00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:48,357
Guys, no, no, Mexico starts

186
00:06:48,399 --> 00:06:50,276
- back there, by the gully.
- Whoever told you that's

187
00:06:50,318 --> 00:06:52,361
probably chomping on the maca,
if you know what I mean.

188
00:06:52,403 --> 00:06:53,904
So, what you're saying
to me is that

189
00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:56,491
on this side of the tape,
I'm in Mexico,

190
00:06:56,532 --> 00:06:58,242
but when I come over here...

191
00:06:58,284 --> 00:07:00,662
Whoa. We're going to need
to see a passport, sir.

192
00:07:00,703 --> 00:07:02,580
Pasaporte.

193
00:07:02,622 --> 00:07:04,582
NARRATOR: George Sr.
liked to make men

194
00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:06,875
who disappoint him suffer.

195
00:07:06,917 --> 00:07:08,628
But things change.

196
00:07:08,670 --> 00:07:11,088
You really hurt
my feelings, guys.

197
00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:13,716
- No hugging... ma'am.
- I'm sorry.

198
00:07:13,758 --> 00:07:16,761
(George Sr. sobbing)

199
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:20,055
NARRATOR: George Sr.
had just discovered

200
00:07:20,097 --> 00:07:22,266
that the millions of dollars
of American property

201
00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:24,644
he owned was worthless.

202
00:07:24,686 --> 00:07:26,020
How did you not notice?

203
00:07:26,061 --> 00:07:27,522
You saw all the papers.

204
00:07:27,563 --> 00:07:29,148
NARRATOR:
And in Mexico.

205
00:07:29,190 --> 00:07:31,693
You can't expect me to read
every page of that deal.

206
00:07:31,734 --> 00:07:33,454
Besides, that one
was particularly difficult

207
00:07:33,486 --> 00:07:35,196
because it was all in Spanish.

208
00:07:35,237 --> 00:07:37,323
It says very clearly,
on my business card,

209
00:07:37,365 --> 00:07:39,742
"Se habla español."

210
00:07:39,784 --> 00:07:41,243
"I do not speak Spanish."

211
00:07:41,285 --> 00:07:42,445
And it was your brother Oscar

212
00:07:42,453 --> 00:07:44,163
who told me it
was on the border.

213
00:07:44,205 --> 00:07:45,832
How did he not know?

214
00:07:45,873 --> 00:07:48,000
NARRATOR: Unfortunately,
Oscar missed the signs.

215
00:07:48,042 --> 00:07:50,002
You think it's okay
to burn these?

216
00:07:50,044 --> 00:07:51,379
OSCAR:
Well, this is America.

217
00:07:51,420 --> 00:07:53,130
If they don't want us
to burn signs,

218
00:07:53,172 --> 00:07:55,174
they shouldn't write them
in Spanish.

219
00:07:55,216 --> 00:07:59,094
- Everybody!
- ♪ Sign, sign, everywhere a sign... ♪

220
00:07:59,136 --> 00:08:01,263
NARRATOR:
Only Heartfire knew the truth.

221
00:08:01,305 --> 00:08:05,100
But the singing was so loud,
no one could hear her thoughts.

222
00:08:05,142 --> 00:08:07,186
I bribed Love

223
00:08:07,228 --> 00:08:09,480
to push for the building
of the wall,

224
00:08:09,522 --> 00:08:11,440
and I don't have the land
to build it on!

225
00:08:11,482 --> 00:08:13,234
BARRY: Shh, shh, shh.
Call Herbert Love, all right?

226
00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:15,236
Tell him you would
greatly appreciate it

227
00:08:15,277 --> 00:08:17,822
if he'd rescind his support
for the wall.

228
00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:19,907
And make him a flip-flopper?
I can't do that.

229
00:08:19,948 --> 00:08:21,367
NARRATOR:
Actually, he'd tried,

230
00:08:21,409 --> 00:08:22,951
but couldn't afford it.

231
00:08:22,993 --> 00:08:25,120
It's a 40 for the flip
and a 40 for the flop,

232
00:08:25,162 --> 00:08:27,874
and since it's going to cause
a flap, I'd say another 40.

233
00:08:27,915 --> 00:08:31,586
So it's a flat 40-40-40
flip-flop and a flap fee.

234
00:08:31,627 --> 00:08:34,296
Well, then find someone
who has influence with him.

235
00:08:34,338 --> 00:08:35,840
Hold on.
A client is, uh, coming,

236
00:08:35,882 --> 00:08:37,383
and I don't know where Oscar is.

237
00:08:37,425 --> 00:08:38,634
He's disappeared.

238
00:08:38,676 --> 00:08:40,720
And there is something up
with him

239
00:08:40,762 --> 00:08:42,805
because he is scary now.

240
00:08:42,847 --> 00:08:44,056
He has changed.

241
00:08:44,098 --> 00:08:45,933
Hey, you've changed,
you big (bleep).

242
00:08:45,974 --> 00:08:47,602
You're acting
like a little girl lately.

243
00:08:47,643 --> 00:08:48,895
And not in the good way.

244
00:08:48,936 --> 00:08:50,456
Pull yourself together.
Act like a man.

245
00:08:50,479 --> 00:08:51,898
GEORGE SR.:
You're right, you're right.

246
00:08:51,939 --> 00:08:54,901
- Okay, love you.
- Love you, too. Bye.

247
00:08:54,942 --> 00:08:56,527
Cash, no receipt.

248
00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:58,320
- Hot day, Father.
- Hot day, Father B.

249
00:08:58,362 --> 00:09:00,364
- Hot day.
- Hot day, Father.

250
00:09:00,406 --> 00:09:02,408
Hello, Father.

251
00:09:02,450 --> 00:09:03,743
Don't call me that!

252
00:09:03,785 --> 00:09:05,119
What are you doing here?

253
00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:07,162
- You and Mom talked about it.
- We did...?

254
00:09:07,204 --> 00:09:09,290
Oscar.

255
00:09:09,331 --> 00:09:12,251
NARRATOR: In fact, it was Oscar
who spoke to Lucille

256
00:09:12,293 --> 00:09:16,046
about hiring Gob, but not
before an ominous warning.

257
00:09:16,088 --> 00:09:18,716
But, you know,
he has magical abilities.

258
00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:22,344
He can handle a lot more
than we give him credit for.

259
00:09:22,386 --> 00:09:24,931
I know... What?!

260
00:09:24,972 --> 00:09:27,099
I would have been here sooner,
but I had to go down

261
00:09:27,141 --> 00:09:28,726
to San Diego
and loop my way back up

262
00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:30,436
because they put up
that border ribbon.

263
00:09:30,478 --> 00:09:31,938
- Which is totally new,
- Shh!

264
00:09:31,979 --> 00:09:33,522
and I wasn't expecting it;
it's fine.

265
00:09:33,564 --> 00:09:35,566
Anyway, Father,
you've got to get me a job

266
00:09:35,608 --> 00:09:37,276
so I can be prepared...
to be president.

267
00:09:37,318 --> 00:09:39,403
All right, you got to keep this
"father" stuff to yourself.

268
00:09:39,445 --> 00:09:41,948
I can't have these people think
that I raised a limo driver.

269
00:09:41,989 --> 00:09:43,658
I'm not a limo driver.

270
00:09:43,699 --> 00:09:45,326
I'm a gentleman honey farmer.

271
00:09:45,367 --> 00:09:47,411
The only thing I've got
back there are my bees.

272
00:09:47,453 --> 00:09:48,746
- Beans?
- No, bees!

273
00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:50,581
- Bees?
- Bees!

274
00:09:50,623 --> 00:09:52,625
Bees! Oh, bees!

275
00:09:52,667 --> 00:09:54,502
The boxes fell over
on the way here

276
00:09:54,543 --> 00:09:56,086
when I had to swerve
to avoid an ostrich.

277
00:09:56,128 --> 00:09:57,880
You got to do something
about this--these people

278
00:09:57,922 --> 00:09:59,173
paid a lot of money.
Do something!

279
00:09:59,214 --> 00:10:00,341
No, they won't listen to me.

280
00:10:00,382 --> 00:10:02,092
- They've all got CCD.
- CCD?

281
00:10:02,134 --> 00:10:03,344
Colony collapse disorder.

282
00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:05,179
The guy sold me
just really sick bees.

283
00:10:05,220 --> 00:10:06,973
Don't worry.
Dad, they're going to hive.

284
00:10:07,014 --> 00:10:08,307
They always hive.

285
00:10:08,349 --> 00:10:10,058
NARRATOR:
Usually by seeking out

286
00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:11,936
a structure
that most resembles a hive.

287
00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:15,147
Bees! Wonderful bees!

288
00:10:15,189 --> 00:10:17,191
GEORGE SR.: It's okay.
It's okay. Gob, get in there

289
00:10:17,232 --> 00:10:19,026
- and get them out!
- GOB: Okay, I'm on it.

290
00:10:19,067 --> 00:10:20,820
NARRATOR: But then George Sr.
got some more bad news.

291
00:10:20,862 --> 00:10:23,322
OSCAR: Hello, brother.
Thought I'd find you

292
00:10:23,364 --> 00:10:24,866
in a blouse and a beekeeper hat.

293
00:10:24,907 --> 00:10:26,325
What are you doing here?
No, no, no, no, no.

294
00:10:26,367 --> 00:10:28,076
We cannot be seen
next to each other.

295
00:10:28,118 --> 00:10:30,329
I'm Dr. Norman!

296
00:10:30,371 --> 00:10:31,622
Well, if you don't want
to be seen, then you

297
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:34,082
go in the sweat lodge.
You owe me.

298
00:10:34,124 --> 00:10:36,460
Is that a fact?
Listen, you told me

299
00:10:36,502 --> 00:10:38,420
the property was on the border.

300
00:10:38,462 --> 00:10:41,340
It is 50 feet south
of the border, Oscar.

301
00:10:41,382 --> 00:10:45,052
Well, excuse me, but they hadn't
put up the tape yet.

302
00:10:45,093 --> 00:10:47,471
So I was going off Buster's map.

303
00:10:47,513 --> 00:10:49,473
Oh, God, it was Buster's map.

304
00:10:49,515 --> 00:10:51,266
NARRATOR:
Buster had indeed made the map,

305
00:10:51,308 --> 00:10:53,019
as a cartography student,

306
00:10:53,060 --> 00:10:55,646
because the class where you get
to see naked people,

307
00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:58,607
and draw them, was full.

308
00:10:58,649 --> 00:11:00,108
And you lied to me.

309
00:11:00,150 --> 00:11:02,194
You told me you bought
this property to live on.

310
00:11:02,236 --> 00:11:05,990
No, you bought this property
to put up a wall.

311
00:11:06,032 --> 00:11:07,575
I told one lie,

312
00:11:07,616 --> 00:11:09,702
but I-I was going to share
the money with you.

313
00:11:09,744 --> 00:11:11,370
- Two lies.
- And why do I think

314
00:11:11,412 --> 00:11:14,582
that you charge more than
five dollars for lemonade?

315
00:11:14,623 --> 00:11:16,291
Three small lies.

316
00:11:16,333 --> 00:11:18,586
Now, will you do me a favor,
just get in the tent.

317
00:11:18,627 --> 00:11:19,962
Gob's getting rid of the bees,

318
00:11:20,004 --> 00:11:21,505
and we'll push the matinee
till 3:00.

319
00:11:21,547 --> 00:11:23,883
No, I'm sick and tired
of being in that hut

320
00:11:23,925 --> 00:11:25,426
pretending to be you.

321
00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:29,137
Maybe I should go out there
and pretend to be you.

322
00:11:29,179 --> 00:11:30,431
So, good-bye, George.

323
00:11:30,472 --> 00:11:32,058
This is the last
you'll see of me.

324
00:11:32,098 --> 00:11:35,728
Just gonna use the can
for one second.

325
00:11:35,770 --> 00:11:38,230
CHINA GARDEN:
There's two Dr. Normans!

326
00:11:41,650 --> 00:11:44,028
NARRATOR: George Sr. headed up
north to see his wife

327
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:46,697
before his brother could,
but he soon found out

328
00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:48,490
he was too late by a day.

329
00:11:48,532 --> 00:11:50,242
LUCILLE (over speakerphone):
Oh, I know what you're coming up

330
00:11:50,284 --> 00:11:51,827
- to do to me.
- Right.

331
00:11:51,869 --> 00:11:53,037
What?

332
00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:54,789
LUCILLE:
Yesterday, you were amazing.

333
00:11:54,830 --> 00:11:57,249
Georgie, I can't stop
thinking about it.

334
00:11:57,291 --> 00:11:59,543
You haven't been
like that in years.

335
00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:01,336
GEORGE SR.:
Oh, right.

336
00:12:01,378 --> 00:12:03,547
- You mean, slow-witted?
- I hope you're ready

337
00:12:03,589 --> 00:12:05,883
for more of the same today.

338
00:12:05,925 --> 00:12:07,551
(growls playfully)

339
00:12:07,593 --> 00:12:09,845
Uh... (sighs) Oh, God.

340
00:12:09,887 --> 00:12:11,388
George Sr. had a few problems:

341
00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:13,181
his brother was
sleeping with his wife,

342
00:12:13,223 --> 00:12:14,767
the property he was going to
sell to the government...

343
00:12:14,809 --> 00:12:16,310
(Lucille whispering)

344
00:12:16,351 --> 00:12:18,270
to build the U.S. wall on
was in Mexico...

345
00:12:18,312 --> 00:12:20,064
GEORGE SR.: All right...
all right...

346
00:12:20,106 --> 00:12:21,315
...and his sweat lodge colony
had just collapsed.

347
00:12:21,356 --> 00:12:22,858
Okay.

348
00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:24,652
So he had to deal with
first things first.

349
00:12:24,693 --> 00:12:27,113
GEORGE SR.:
If my identical twin brother

350
00:12:27,153 --> 00:12:29,657
can get it up, then shouldn't I?

351
00:12:29,698 --> 00:12:31,909
Have you had any sexual feeling
at all lately?

352
00:12:31,951 --> 00:12:33,535
No!

353
00:12:33,577 --> 00:12:35,738
You know, the Hopi Indians
believe that this spot here,

354
00:12:35,746 --> 00:12:37,289
- Okay.
- when manipulated,

355
00:12:37,331 --> 00:12:39,708
- can create sexual feeling.
- That's my penis.

356
00:12:39,750 --> 00:12:42,086
Well, you don't have to tell me.
Nothing?

357
00:12:42,128 --> 00:12:43,671
No, just a little curiosity

358
00:12:43,712 --> 00:12:45,631
as to why you're checking
your second hand.

359
00:12:45,673 --> 00:12:47,800
Oh, this isn't my office.

360
00:12:47,842 --> 00:12:49,593
You know, I-I don't get it.

361
00:12:49,635 --> 00:12:52,138
I've been popping the pills,
and, I mean, I mean, nothing.

362
00:12:52,220 --> 00:12:54,180
- Are you under any pressure?
- Oh, no.

363
00:12:54,222 --> 00:12:55,724
Nothing out of the ordinary.

364
00:12:55,766 --> 00:12:57,601
I mean, there's some
violating federal law stuff

365
00:12:57,643 --> 00:12:59,937
that'd put me in prison
for the rest of my life,

366
00:12:59,979 --> 00:13:02,982
but I've made love with
treason charges over me before.

367
00:13:03,024 --> 00:13:04,232
But no, it's something else.

368
00:13:04,274 --> 00:13:05,442
It's not just the sex.

369
00:13:05,484 --> 00:13:08,029
I feel...

370
00:13:08,070 --> 00:13:10,489
(sobbing):
I feel wrong.

371
00:13:10,531 --> 00:13:12,240
Somehow.

372
00:13:12,282 --> 00:13:14,200
(sobbing)

373
00:13:14,242 --> 00:13:17,163
And I'm becoming weak.

374
00:13:17,203 --> 00:13:18,330
(inhales)

375
00:13:18,372 --> 00:13:19,790
Sorry, had the old
thinking cap on.

376
00:13:19,832 --> 00:13:21,583
Let's go to the lists.

377
00:13:21,625 --> 00:13:23,293
NARRATOR: And Dr. Norman
proceeded to run through

378
00:13:23,335 --> 00:13:25,337
a checklist of alternative
medicine questions.

379
00:13:25,379 --> 00:13:26,839
Okay, did you drink some water
that might have

380
00:13:26,881 --> 00:13:28,465
a homeopathic memory
of some molecule?

381
00:13:28,507 --> 00:13:29,675
Do you keep track

382
00:13:29,717 --> 00:13:31,052
of the molecules you ingest?

383
00:13:31,093 --> 00:13:32,469
Well, with homeopathy,

384
00:13:32,511 --> 00:13:33,971
it's the molecules
you don't ingest.

385
00:13:34,013 --> 00:13:35,347
But I'm the one
who can get hard,

386
00:13:35,389 --> 00:13:37,016
so let's focus on you.

387
00:13:37,058 --> 00:13:39,351
He then went on to explore
some supernatural

388
00:13:39,393 --> 00:13:40,873
or high-concept
premise possibilities.

389
00:13:40,895 --> 00:13:42,604
Any earthquakes
in a Chinese restaurant

390
00:13:42,646 --> 00:13:44,606
- while you were trying to prove
something to your mother? - No.

391
00:13:44,648 --> 00:13:45,983
Any wishes you may have
phrased badly,

392
00:13:46,025 --> 00:13:47,735
or while a child
was blowing out a candle?

393
00:13:47,776 --> 00:13:49,361
No.

394
00:13:49,403 --> 00:13:51,197
Have you come across
any ancient games, let's say,

395
00:13:51,237 --> 00:13:54,491
glowing games, uh, either
board based or carnival based,

396
00:13:54,533 --> 00:13:56,994
that you may have played against
the wishes of your best friend?

397
00:13:57,036 --> 00:13:59,038
- No.
- Curses, hexes, spells,

398
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:02,917
shaman, medicine men?

399
00:14:02,958 --> 00:14:04,585
Wait.

400
00:14:04,626 --> 00:14:07,004
The strong will become the weak.

401
00:14:07,046 --> 00:14:09,673
The weak will become the strong.

402
00:14:09,715 --> 00:14:13,635
I did hallucinate one ancient
foreboding warrior harbinger

403
00:14:13,677 --> 00:14:16,055
while I chewed maca root
about a year ago.

404
00:14:16,097 --> 00:14:17,848
Could that be something?

405
00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:19,683
- No, it's not the maca.
- (filtered breathing)

406
00:14:19,725 --> 00:14:20,893
Your body wants the maca.

407
00:14:20,935 --> 00:14:22,269
It's not the maca.

408
00:14:22,310 --> 00:14:24,354
But finally,
out of desperation,

409
00:14:24,396 --> 00:14:25,856
he turned to Western medicine.

410
00:14:25,898 --> 00:14:27,608
Okay, tell you what,
let's get some film on you.

411
00:14:27,649 --> 00:14:29,985
I'd like you to get
on an MRI machine

412
00:14:30,027 --> 00:14:31,528
and try to ride it to climax.

413
00:14:31,570 --> 00:14:33,114
I'm gonna send you over
to Orange County Imaging--

414
00:14:33,155 --> 00:14:34,907
they do a ton of that.

415
00:14:34,949 --> 00:14:36,491
Okay, do I get magazines?

416
00:14:36,533 --> 00:14:38,535
Yeah, I'll write you
a script for that.

417
00:14:38,577 --> 00:14:41,038
They got a place right around
the corner that plays ball.

418
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,414
- Thank you.
- (men shouting in Spanish)

419
00:14:42,456 --> 00:14:43,791
Oh, (bleep). Run.

420
00:14:43,832 --> 00:14:46,668
What? Oh.

421
00:14:46,710 --> 00:14:49,421
And soon, after getting
his prescription filled...

422
00:14:49,463 --> 00:14:50,422
Uh... hola...

423
00:14:50,464 --> 00:14:52,841
I have a, um--magazines?

424
00:14:55,636 --> 00:14:57,012
(men conversing quietly)

425
00:14:57,054 --> 00:14:58,513
...he was on his way

426
00:14:58,555 --> 00:15:00,933
to debase himself
in an MRI machine

427
00:15:00,975 --> 00:15:04,686
when he ran into a son
with whom he'd lost touch.

428
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:09,650
Dad, what are you doing here?

429
00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:13,737
I wanted to speak to you...
in person.

430
00:15:13,779 --> 00:15:15,322
Then you're here to apologize;
that right?

431
00:15:15,363 --> 00:15:17,043
- Sure.
- Although, he covered pretty well.

432
00:15:17,074 --> 00:15:20,953
And-and of course to see you
at Orange County Im-a-gine.

433
00:15:20,995 --> 00:15:24,081
I went to you
for a simple signature,

434
00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:26,374
and you told me to go to hell.

435
00:15:26,416 --> 00:15:28,836
Actually, it was
the newly potent Oscar,

436
00:15:28,877 --> 00:15:31,213
who, like one of
Gob's sick bees,

437
00:15:31,255 --> 00:15:34,300
was pollinating one barren
flower after another,

438
00:15:34,341 --> 00:15:35,259
who told Michael to go to hell.

439
00:15:35,301 --> 00:15:37,261
- Go to hell.
- Huh?

440
00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:39,429
Which is how George Sr.

441
00:15:39,471 --> 00:15:41,348
not only was left with
Senor Senoritas,

442
00:15:41,389 --> 00:15:43,725
and that's when he got a lead
on his wall problem.

443
00:15:43,767 --> 00:15:45,435
Do you know a guy
named Herbert Love?

444
00:15:45,477 --> 00:15:47,021
I know a lot of people, sure.

445
00:15:47,062 --> 00:15:49,315
And soon, he surprised Michael

446
00:15:49,356 --> 00:15:51,399
by giving him his rights
for the movie project.

447
00:15:51,441 --> 00:15:55,779
I didn't know it was about
lying to a girl.

448
00:15:55,821 --> 00:15:58,615
- Give me the release.
- You'd do this for me?

449
00:15:58,657 --> 00:16:00,617
- Of course I will.
- And then, didn't surprise him.

450
00:16:00,659 --> 00:16:02,953
If you'll do something for me.

451
00:16:02,995 --> 00:16:05,080
I knew it.

452
00:16:05,122 --> 00:16:08,792
Michael, you got to get
this Love guy against the wall

453
00:16:08,834 --> 00:16:10,085
between the U.S. and Mexico.

454
00:16:10,127 --> 00:16:11,503
That's not right.

455
00:16:11,545 --> 00:16:12,838
You're really opposed
to this wall, huh?

456
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,006
When did you
become pro-immigrant?

457
00:16:14,048 --> 00:16:15,132
I have changed, Michael.

458
00:16:15,174 --> 00:16:17,718
I cry (clears throat)

459
00:16:17,759 --> 00:16:20,637
at the drop of a hat,
and I hate the way I look.

460
00:16:20,679 --> 00:16:23,682
I actually had one cute hat,
and it...

461
00:16:23,724 --> 00:16:28,520
it blew off
at the CVS parking lot.

462
00:16:28,562 --> 00:16:31,481
(sobbing): And this whole car
full of black kids ran over it,

463
00:16:31,523 --> 00:16:32,607
for no reason.

464
00:16:32,649 --> 00:16:35,319
And they saw it!

465
00:16:35,361 --> 00:16:37,154
They saw it!

466
00:16:37,196 --> 00:16:38,947
Michael...

467
00:16:38,989 --> 00:16:40,949
(pats bench)

468
00:16:40,991 --> 00:16:44,245
Anyway, I live down there now.

469
00:16:44,286 --> 00:16:46,705
And I care for these people
who just want

470
00:16:46,747 --> 00:16:49,750
to come into this country
and ply their wares

471
00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:52,627
and let us freely fill the bay
with their culture.

472
00:16:52,669 --> 00:16:54,629
Hey, don't get me started
on the Cinco, Dad.

473
00:16:54,671 --> 00:16:56,423
I haven't been to one
in 20 years.

474
00:16:56,464 --> 00:16:58,175
There's gonna be blowback there;
it's just gonna happen.

475
00:16:58,217 --> 00:17:00,344
You can't swim in that bay
for a month after

476
00:17:00,386 --> 00:17:02,137
without getting
nacho cheese sauce in your hair.

477
00:17:02,179 --> 00:17:03,430
It's coming.

478
00:17:03,471 --> 00:17:05,807
Can you help me, then,
with Love?

479
00:17:05,849 --> 00:17:07,642
At his speech, at Cinco?

480
00:17:07,684 --> 00:17:09,603
Can you do that for your dad?

481
00:17:09,644 --> 00:17:12,773
What he didn't tell Michael was
that the family would go broke

482
00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:14,775
if they had to build the wall.

483
00:17:14,816 --> 00:17:16,860
Of course I will.

484
00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:21,115
Maybe, if he had,
Michael wouldn't have

485
00:17:21,156 --> 00:17:23,533
overplayed his hand
as a big-shot producer

486
00:17:23,575 --> 00:17:25,493
who knew lots of people.

487
00:17:25,535 --> 00:17:26,954
But a deal was soon struck...

488
00:17:26,995 --> 00:17:28,538
- Thanks, Pop.
- All right.

489
00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:30,457
...and Michael,
signed contract in hand,

490
00:17:30,498 --> 00:17:32,584
went to show off
at the Ealing Club,

491
00:17:32,626 --> 00:17:35,045
while George Sr.,
magazine in hand,

492
00:17:35,087 --> 00:17:37,839
went to (bleep) off
in an MRI machine.

493
00:17:43,637 --> 00:17:46,807
NARRATOR: George Sr. finally
went to visit a wife

494
00:17:46,848 --> 00:17:49,810
who was under the impression
that he was back for more.

495
00:17:49,851 --> 00:17:51,228
The wrong land?

496
00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:53,147
It's under control;
I'm trying to get Love

497
00:17:53,188 --> 00:17:54,773
to come out against the wall.

498
00:17:54,815 --> 00:17:57,234
We can't afford to build it
if we're not

499
00:17:57,276 --> 00:17:59,194
selling the land
back to the government.

500
00:17:59,236 --> 00:18:00,737
It'll ruin us.

501
00:18:00,779 --> 00:18:03,073
It'll ruin us
if we don't build it.

502
00:18:03,115 --> 00:18:05,742
George, you've gone puny again.

503
00:18:05,784 --> 00:18:08,203
Where's the man who took
ahold of me yesterday

504
00:18:08,245 --> 00:18:09,621
and bent me over this couch?

505
00:18:09,663 --> 00:18:12,416
Okay, okay,
let's not sully its memory.

506
00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:16,628
Look, we make sure Herbert Love
comes out against the wall,

507
00:18:16,670 --> 00:18:18,713
right after we get
enough of it up

508
00:18:18,755 --> 00:18:20,632
to trigger
the government payment.

509
00:18:20,674 --> 00:18:23,385
And speaking of
getting enough of it up,

510
00:18:23,427 --> 00:18:25,053
what's going on down here?

511
00:18:25,095 --> 00:18:28,598
You need a little more Marilyn
like I did yesterday?

512
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:31,685
♪ Happy birthday,
Mr. President... ♪

513
00:18:31,726 --> 00:18:33,187
I-I don't want to be
Mr. President.

514
00:18:33,228 --> 00:18:35,981
Huh. Especially with
all this going down.

515
00:18:36,023 --> 00:18:39,276
Oh, and speaking of president,
what's happening with Gob?

516
00:18:39,318 --> 00:18:40,610
You gave him a job?

517
00:18:40,652 --> 00:18:42,363
Yes, but then I-I fired him.

518
00:18:42,404 --> 00:18:44,239
He caused my colony to collapse.

519
00:18:44,281 --> 00:18:47,575
Oh, my God, George,
get him another job.

520
00:18:47,617 --> 00:18:50,371
You must have some favors
you can call in somewhere.

521
00:18:50,412 --> 00:18:54,582
And then you can have some of
my favors, Mr. President.

522
00:18:54,624 --> 00:18:56,377
As much as I'd like to stay

523
00:18:56,418 --> 00:18:57,836
and lay some more pipe with you,

524
00:18:57,878 --> 00:18:59,754
I better get moving
on this thing.

525
00:18:59,796 --> 00:19:01,006
And so, the next day,

526
00:19:01,048 --> 00:19:03,384
George Sr. once again
called upon his son.

527
00:19:03,425 --> 00:19:04,926
Michael B. Project.

528
00:19:04,968 --> 00:19:06,887
GEORGE SR.:
Yeah, you got to give Gob a job.

529
00:19:06,928 --> 00:19:08,472
Something in
the, uh, building company

530
00:19:08,514 --> 00:19:11,475
or, uh, hey, I think
he'd get a big kick

531
00:19:11,517 --> 00:19:12,767
out of the movie business.

532
00:19:12,809 --> 00:19:14,019
N-N-No, Dad, hey.

533
00:19:14,061 --> 00:19:15,770
He knows nothing
about producing.

534
00:19:15,812 --> 00:19:18,023
GEORGE SR.: Look, I don't care
if it's producing a movie

535
00:19:18,065 --> 00:19:19,441
that's never gonna be made

536
00:19:19,483 --> 00:19:21,693
or selling houses
that no one's gonna buy,

537
00:19:21,735 --> 00:19:24,196
I just want my son
to have a job

538
00:19:24,238 --> 00:19:27,074
where his incompetence
won't be out of place.

539
00:19:27,115 --> 00:19:29,284
Anyway, he's on his way
to Sudden Valley now.

540
00:19:29,326 --> 00:19:31,161
No, he isn't.
No, no, come on, Dad...

541
00:19:31,203 --> 00:19:32,620
- No, no, now?
- GEORGE SR.: What, what?

542
00:19:32,662 --> 00:19:34,164
He's gonna make it
less valuable?

543
00:19:34,206 --> 00:19:35,623
Which I told you
was gonna happen, by the way.

544
00:19:35,665 --> 00:19:36,958
MICHAEL: Oh, here it is.
Here it is.

545
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,835
Yeah, there it is!
Knew it was coming.

546
00:19:38,877 --> 00:19:41,338
NARRATOR: And even though George
had imposed on Michael,

547
00:19:41,380 --> 00:19:42,756
it was Gob...

548
00:19:42,797 --> 00:19:44,632
GOB:
What the hell?

549
00:19:44,674 --> 00:19:46,676
...who felt
he had a cross to bear.

550
00:19:46,718 --> 00:19:49,430
MICHAEL:
What the hell?

551
00:19:49,471 --> 00:19:51,139
(tires screeching,
horns honking)

552
00:19:51,181 --> 00:19:52,682
MICHAEL: Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, I got the right of--

553
00:19:52,724 --> 00:19:54,444
- Hey, hey, hey...
- N-No, don't. It's mine.

554
00:19:54,476 --> 00:19:56,353
- Okay, coming through here.
- Mine... Hah!

555
00:19:56,395 --> 00:19:59,022
No... no, no!
My right of... way!

556
00:19:59,064 --> 00:20:00,607
- There! Mine!
- Okay. (weak laugh)

557
00:20:00,648 --> 00:20:01,858
Hey...

558
00:20:06,572 --> 00:20:07,573
Gob!

559
00:20:07,614 --> 00:20:09,074
(chuckles):
Michael!

560
00:20:09,116 --> 00:20:10,367
And the two brothers
reunited...

561
00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:11,452
Hey, Gob.

562
00:20:11,493 --> 00:20:12,494
Michael.

563
00:20:12,536 --> 00:20:14,079
...happy to see each other.

564
00:20:14,121 --> 00:20:15,581
Gob?

565
00:20:15,622 --> 00:20:17,040
At first.

566
00:20:17,082 --> 00:20:19,501
Michael.

567
00:20:19,543 --> 00:20:21,420
So, hear you need help moving

568
00:20:21,462 --> 00:20:24,381
these memorials to the death
of the housing market.

569
00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:27,134
(mailbox plays tune,
then stops)

570
00:20:27,175 --> 00:20:28,635
Actually that was a memorial

571
00:20:28,676 --> 00:20:31,096
- to the death of Pete the mailman.
- I knew that.

572
00:20:31,138 --> 00:20:34,516
I brought one, too--
size of the man's heart.

573
00:20:34,558 --> 00:20:37,352
I just got to figure out
how to get it out of the car.

574
00:20:37,394 --> 00:20:39,271
If I could remember
how I got it in.

575
00:20:39,313 --> 00:20:41,231
That's not
from your Christian magic act?

576
00:20:41,273 --> 00:20:43,442
Christian magic act?

577
00:20:43,484 --> 00:20:45,860
If I were Muslim, would you say
"Muslim magic act"?

578
00:20:45,902 --> 00:20:49,906
No, but it is hard to imagine
any Muslim handcuffing himself

579
00:20:49,948 --> 00:20:52,826
to a glittery cross
and living to tell about it.

580
00:20:52,867 --> 00:20:55,203
Yeah, well, the Christians
aren't so (bleep)-hot

581
00:20:55,245 --> 00:20:56,997
about it either.

582
00:20:57,038 --> 00:20:59,374
Hmm, well...

583
00:20:59,416 --> 00:21:02,043
NARRATOR: Michael could see
that his brother was unhappy

584
00:21:02,085 --> 00:21:03,837
and that his life had not
worked out

585
00:21:03,878 --> 00:21:05,713
the way he had hoped.

586
00:21:05,755 --> 00:21:09,676
Things are incredible for me,
I'm having an incredible year.

587
00:21:09,717 --> 00:21:12,220
I am a movie producer now,
producing a movie,

588
00:21:12,262 --> 00:21:13,721
so they've got me
in this enormous office.

589
00:21:13,763 --> 00:21:15,203
I told 'em
I don't want to be driving

590
00:21:15,223 --> 00:21:16,808
to Beverly Hills
every single day,

591
00:21:16,850 --> 00:21:20,103
so they put me in an enormous
office just over here.

592
00:21:22,897 --> 00:21:24,441
Rental.

593
00:21:24,483 --> 00:21:27,319
My personal life is off
the charts. I've met someone.

594
00:21:27,361 --> 00:21:30,197
Can't really give you any
information--kind of famousy.

595
00:21:30,238 --> 00:21:31,865
- Well, good for you. I also met someone.
- Have you?

596
00:21:31,906 --> 00:21:34,409
Also famousy.
Can't give you any information.

597
00:21:34,451 --> 00:21:36,995
In fact, Michael didn't even
find out who she was

598
00:21:37,037 --> 00:21:39,122
until one night, earlier.

599
00:21:39,164 --> 00:21:41,542
Oh, my God. I'm dating Ron
Howard's girlfriend.

600
00:21:41,583 --> 00:21:44,169
Although he did have
some of the details wrong.

601
00:21:44,211 --> 00:21:46,296
She's an actress.
You know her.

602
00:21:46,338 --> 00:21:49,550
She was Ron's
illegitimate daughter,

603
00:21:49,591 --> 00:21:50,967
a fact unbeknownst to many.

604
00:21:51,009 --> 00:21:52,844
Well, we kind of like to keep
that quiet.

605
00:21:52,886 --> 00:21:57,057
A woman who, like Bryce Dallas
and Paige Carlyle,

606
00:21:57,098 --> 00:22:00,060
was named after
where she was conceived.

607
00:22:00,101 --> 00:22:03,938
And she actually had worked
for some A-list directors.

608
00:22:03,980 --> 00:22:05,399
She did a Terrence Malick...

609
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,693
REBEL:
Are we the same?

610
00:22:07,734 --> 00:22:09,194
She got the lead
in a Woody Allen film...

611
00:22:09,236 --> 00:22:10,916
But I felt like I was in
The Iceman Cometh,

612
00:22:10,945 --> 00:22:13,448
but, you know,
in my case, he faketh.

613
00:22:13,490 --> 00:22:15,617
...and was once even directed
by her own father.

614
00:22:15,659 --> 00:22:16,743
Action!

615
00:22:16,784 --> 00:22:18,704
Next time, don't pocket it,

616
00:22:18,745 --> 00:22:19,746
pay for it.

617
00:22:19,787 --> 00:22:22,165
Shoplifting: not cool.

618
00:22:22,207 --> 00:22:25,085
- ...in a public service announcement.
- And cut!

619
00:22:25,126 --> 00:22:26,253
Which, like all of
Ron's work...

620
00:22:26,294 --> 00:22:27,462
You know, I think we got it.

621
00:22:27,504 --> 00:22:29,548
...was inspired
by a photograph.

622
00:22:29,590 --> 00:22:31,299
Rebel was indeed a rebel.

623
00:22:31,341 --> 00:22:34,302
But Michael didn't possess
that information.

624
00:22:34,344 --> 00:22:36,304
I can give you some information
about your airless office

625
00:22:36,346 --> 00:22:37,889
you're gonna be spending
most mornings in.

626
00:22:37,931 --> 00:22:39,349
You know, what I could go for
is some guac.

627
00:22:39,391 --> 00:22:40,850
Well, you don't live there
anymore, Gob.

628
00:22:40,892 --> 00:22:43,103
This heat just makes,
makes me want guac.

629
00:22:43,144 --> 00:22:45,146
Now, now, I know
I've got these things,

630
00:22:45,188 --> 00:22:47,691
uh, very, you know,
meticulously maintained.

631
00:22:47,733 --> 00:22:50,193
- (squawk)
- There's...

632
00:22:50,235 --> 00:22:51,403
There are some vultures.

633
00:22:51,445 --> 00:22:53,572
I think they might
still smell Pete.

634
00:22:53,614 --> 00:22:55,574
Yeah, if it wasn't for the movie
thing, I would do it myself.

635
00:22:55,616 --> 00:22:57,242
They practically sell
themselves; you just got

636
00:22:57,284 --> 00:22:59,369
- to bring the people in.
- I'm ready to move in today.

637
00:22:59,411 --> 00:23:01,246
No, well, people other than you,

638
00:23:01,288 --> 00:23:02,872
- bring those people in.
- I'm starving.

639
00:23:02,914 --> 00:23:04,165
Starving? No, you're not
gonna find anything here.

640
00:23:04,207 --> 00:23:05,367
They've been abandoned for...

641
00:23:07,793 --> 00:23:10,171
Lindsay.

642
00:23:10,213 --> 00:23:13,049
No, no, this--maybe Tobias.

643
00:23:13,091 --> 00:23:14,259
NARRATOR:
It was John Beard.

644
00:23:14,301 --> 00:23:15,843
Shall we?

645
00:23:15,885 --> 00:23:17,596
Well, the value of these homes
isn't gonna go down

646
00:23:17,638 --> 00:23:18,846
if we don't sell one today.

647
00:23:18,888 --> 00:23:21,558
Let me see
if I can find a, uh...

648
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:22,934
Do you have a bottle opener?

649
00:23:22,976 --> 00:23:24,936
Great idea.

650
00:23:24,978 --> 00:23:27,230
And after a few more drinks and
a little more depreciation...

651
00:23:27,272 --> 00:23:29,274
- That was surprising.
- ...Michael admitted he had

652
00:23:29,316 --> 00:23:30,692
a rival for his girlfriend.

653
00:23:30,734 --> 00:23:33,403
You don't have to worry
about Ron Howard.

654
00:23:33,445 --> 00:23:35,322
I mean, he's not
competition for you.

655
00:23:35,363 --> 00:23:36,657
- Really?
- Yeah, I mean, the guy's

656
00:23:36,698 --> 00:23:38,450
like 100 years old.
What's he gonna do,

657
00:23:38,492 --> 00:23:39,825
poke you in the eyes?

658
00:23:39,867 --> 00:23:40,994
Oh, you're confused.

659
00:23:41,035 --> 00:23:42,078
Ron Howard directed Apollo 13.

660
00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:43,789
You're thinking of Moe Howard,

661
00:23:43,829 --> 00:23:45,791
the angry stooge who's been dead
for a quarter century.

662
00:23:45,831 --> 00:23:47,626
Well, that's good 'cause the
whole time I'm thinking, like,

663
00:23:47,668 --> 00:23:48,960
"unless she likes
a guy who's funny."

664
00:23:49,002 --> 00:23:50,671
- Sure.
- Because that guy is funny.

665
00:23:50,712 --> 00:23:52,213
- 'Cause the whole time you're like...
- You know...

666
00:23:52,255 --> 00:23:54,007
- "Is he gonna poke me in the eyes?"
- Gob,

667
00:23:54,048 --> 00:23:56,593
I don't think that th-the
movie--it might not even happen

668
00:23:56,635 --> 00:23:58,637
because I don't think
that I can ask my son.

669
00:23:58,679 --> 00:24:01,306
What happened between him and me
was very disappointing.

670
00:24:01,348 --> 00:24:03,350
You don't need to tell me
about disappointment and sons.

671
00:24:03,391 --> 00:24:06,311
Let's not forget Steve Holt.

672
00:24:06,353 --> 00:24:08,730
That's the story
of our relationship.

673
00:24:08,772 --> 00:24:10,940
Right, well, I was talking about
a son disappointing a father.

674
00:24:10,982 --> 00:24:12,526
Yeah, that does make it
different.

675
00:24:12,567 --> 00:24:15,028
Look, Michael,
he doesn't respect you,

676
00:24:15,069 --> 00:24:16,321
so you have
to make him respect you.

677
00:24:16,363 --> 00:24:17,905
Show him that you're a big shot,

678
00:24:17,947 --> 00:24:19,949
that you don't need to
live in your son's dorm.

679
00:24:19,991 --> 00:24:22,160
(sighs) No, I just live
in my parents' penthouse now.

680
00:24:22,202 --> 00:24:23,995
Well, then, take him to the
Ealing Club; it's all showbiz.

681
00:24:24,037 --> 00:24:25,413
I used to hang out there
all the time.

682
00:24:25,455 --> 00:24:27,457
It's just actresses
and stuff like that.

683
00:24:27,499 --> 00:24:29,125
I don't know
if I could pick up the phone

684
00:24:29,167 --> 00:24:30,960
and call him and ask him.

685
00:24:31,002 --> 00:24:32,379
- You know what, Michael?
- Hmm?

686
00:24:32,420 --> 00:24:34,214
I'll call him for you.

687
00:24:35,340 --> 00:24:37,300
Really, you'd do that for me?

688
00:24:37,342 --> 00:24:38,844
It's the least I could do.

689
00:24:38,884 --> 00:24:40,928
You've given me
a new sense of purpose.

690
00:24:40,970 --> 00:24:43,849
Did you actually have
an old one?

691
00:24:43,889 --> 00:24:45,849
'Cause it always seemed
like you were just looking

692
00:24:45,851 --> 00:24:47,227
for the easy way out.

693
00:24:47,268 --> 00:24:49,771
Yeah, that was it.

694
00:24:49,813 --> 00:24:52,440
Hi, I'm George Bluth
of the Bluth Company, and, uh...

695
00:24:52,482 --> 00:24:54,362
NARRATOR: George Sr.,
meanwhile, was also finding

696
00:24:54,401 --> 00:24:55,801
an easy way out
of the wall problem.

697
00:24:55,819 --> 00:24:57,237
...we've built this wall.

698
00:24:57,278 --> 00:25:01,491
We have miles and,
and miles of wall.

699
00:25:01,533 --> 00:25:03,451
Will you confirm that, soldier?

700
00:25:03,493 --> 00:25:05,953
(soldier grunts, gags)

701
00:25:05,995 --> 00:25:07,539
It's ab-about protecting
our border,

702
00:25:07,581 --> 00:25:09,332
which is why, uh,
we have a member

703
00:25:09,374 --> 00:25:12,335
of our armed forces
with us today.

704
00:25:12,377 --> 00:25:14,128
- (coughing)
- Say hello.

705
00:25:14,170 --> 00:25:15,630
(Buster grunts)

706
00:25:15,672 --> 00:25:18,174
It's, uh, triple-reinforced,
steel-reinforced,

707
00:25:18,216 --> 00:25:21,094
and I don't really
know how to, how to say

708
00:25:21,135 --> 00:25:24,472
that, uh, what it does is,
it protects, um...

709
00:25:24,514 --> 00:25:26,057
It's Mexican-proof.

710
00:25:26,099 --> 00:25:27,851
(laughing):
So-- can't say-- it...

711
00:25:27,893 --> 00:25:29,686
Well, gosh darn it,

712
00:25:29,728 --> 00:25:31,563
it is Mexican-proof.

713
00:25:31,605 --> 00:25:32,731
(gags, snorts)

714
00:25:32,773 --> 00:25:33,939
Sit up.

715
00:25:33,981 --> 00:25:35,191
- Uh...
- Daddy, my tummy's turning.

716
00:25:35,233 --> 00:25:36,610
All right.

717
00:25:36,651 --> 00:25:38,152
- Uh, it's, uh, triple-reinforced.
- I got...

718
00:25:38,194 --> 00:25:39,487
Daddy, I got to get out,

719
00:25:39,529 --> 00:25:40,946
- I got to get out.
- Uh, we're gonna be...

720
00:25:40,988 --> 00:25:42,282
Oh, for God's sakes, get out.

721
00:25:42,323 --> 00:25:43,867
I need to get out,
I need to get out.

722
00:25:43,909 --> 00:25:45,619
- Oh, for...
- I need to get out, I need to get out.

723
00:25:45,660 --> 00:25:48,496
We're not gonna... we'll edit
this part out and, uh...

724
00:25:48,538 --> 00:25:50,248
Anyhow...

725
00:25:50,290 --> 00:25:52,876
NARRATOR: But George Sr.
hadn't built miles of wall.

726
00:25:52,918 --> 00:25:57,004
He just found a roundabout way
to make it seem that way,

727
00:25:57,046 --> 00:25:59,466
and one week later at Cinco,
George arrived,

728
00:25:59,507 --> 00:26:00,884
hoping to hear Herbert Love...

729
00:26:00,926 --> 00:26:02,719
No, thanks. I've already crushed
one with my car.

730
00:26:02,761 --> 00:26:05,722
...sway public opinion
against the wall

731
00:26:05,764 --> 00:26:07,557
so the Bluth Company
wouldn't be on the hook

732
00:26:07,599 --> 00:26:08,974
- to build it for real.
- Pop, hey, hi.

733
00:26:09,016 --> 00:26:10,936
- Michael, what happened?
- Yeah.

734
00:26:10,976 --> 00:26:12,896
Oh, the--it's a terrible week,

735
00:26:12,938 --> 00:26:15,315
but I'm gonna fix things
once and for all right now.

736
00:26:15,356 --> 00:26:16,942
- Is this about Love?
- No, it's about money,

737
00:26:16,982 --> 00:26:21,947
but I-I'm--I will pay her back,
uh, one way or the other.

738
00:26:21,987 --> 00:26:23,030
Who?

739
00:26:23,072 --> 00:26:24,365
Lucille 2--I'm gonna get her

740
00:26:24,407 --> 00:26:26,200
- against the wall.
- No, no, no, no, no,

741
00:26:26,242 --> 00:26:28,077
she cannot know about this wall.

742
00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:30,371
Fine, I'll get her up against
the top of the staircar.

743
00:26:30,413 --> 00:26:32,332
I don't care,
it's gonna happen, though.

744
00:26:32,373 --> 00:26:33,959
I am talking about Herbert Love.

745
00:26:33,999 --> 00:26:36,628
- Is he going to oppose the
building of the wall? - Oh, yes.

746
00:26:36,670 --> 00:26:38,171
I took care of that.

747
00:26:38,212 --> 00:26:40,465
He is going to announce that
in his speech tonight.

748
00:26:40,507 --> 00:26:41,466
That is great news.

749
00:26:41,508 --> 00:26:43,217
Listen, I-I-I have to go.

750
00:26:43,259 --> 00:26:46,179
I have to see if I can pass
this testosterone test.

751
00:26:46,220 --> 00:26:47,722
I do, too.
(chuckles)

752
00:26:47,764 --> 00:26:49,891
And, listen, not a word to...

753
00:26:49,933 --> 00:26:51,559
How dare you?

754
00:26:51,601 --> 00:26:55,020
Lucille 2.

755
00:26:55,062 --> 00:26:56,982
Did you think
I wouldn't find out?

756
00:26:57,022 --> 00:26:58,483
I was going to cut you in.

757
00:26:58,525 --> 00:26:59,734
I was trying to protect you

758
00:26:59,776 --> 00:27:01,695
so they wouldn't link you to it,

759
00:27:01,736 --> 00:27:04,280
but it turns out that we can't
afford to build it anyway.

760
00:27:04,322 --> 00:27:07,951
- Build what?
- The wall in Mexico, the, the high wall.

761
00:27:07,993 --> 00:27:10,286
- What were, what were you talking about?
- I was talking

762
00:27:10,328 --> 00:27:13,707
about you giving money
to Herbert Love in his campaign

763
00:27:13,748 --> 00:27:15,792
- against me.
- Oh, no, no,

764
00:27:15,834 --> 00:27:17,961
that was to get Love
to support the wall.

765
00:27:18,003 --> 00:27:20,254
Oh, I tell you, I've been
all over the place on this one.

766
00:27:20,296 --> 00:27:23,048
I can't be running a company
that's building a wall

767
00:27:23,090 --> 00:27:24,300
I campaigned against!

768
00:27:24,342 --> 00:27:26,970
Listen to me,
it's taken care of.

769
00:27:27,012 --> 00:27:28,053
I just ran into Michael.

770
00:27:28,095 --> 00:27:30,974
He's got Love against the wall.

771
00:27:31,016 --> 00:27:33,226
It's done, it's gonna be in
the speech tonight, it's over.

772
00:27:33,267 --> 00:27:34,811
It better be,

773
00:27:34,853 --> 00:27:37,689
or I'll talk about it
in my speech tonight.

774
00:27:37,731 --> 00:27:40,233
Now, I've got a staircar
to wave from.

775
00:27:40,274 --> 00:27:41,651
And I can't be seen with you.

776
00:27:41,693 --> 00:27:43,068
'Cause I'm fat.

777
00:27:43,110 --> 00:27:45,070
It's because I am fat.

778
00:27:45,112 --> 00:27:47,114
You think I'm a fat person.

779
00:27:47,156 --> 00:27:49,534
You are such a drama queen.

780
00:27:49,576 --> 00:27:50,744
NARRATOR:
George Sr. was worried.

781
00:27:50,785 --> 00:27:52,286
These fat arms.

782
00:27:52,328 --> 00:27:53,830
I don't understand this.

783
00:27:53,872 --> 00:27:56,666
And so, it was in
a state of agitation

784
00:27:56,708 --> 00:27:59,252
that George Sr. arrived
for his doctor's appointment.

785
00:27:59,293 --> 00:28:00,461
Excuse me, Dr. Norman?

786
00:28:00,503 --> 00:28:02,463
- You're mistaken.
- Dr. Norman,

787
00:28:02,505 --> 00:28:04,507
it's me, George Bluth.

788
00:28:04,549 --> 00:28:08,428
Oh, George, yes,
thank you for meeting me here.

789
00:28:08,469 --> 00:28:12,640
I like to do a little
housecleaning on the fourth.

790
00:28:12,682 --> 00:28:14,141
(indistinct radio transmission)

791
00:28:14,183 --> 00:28:15,810
Old quinceañera candles.

792
00:28:15,852 --> 00:28:19,898
I was wondering if you could
tell me my test results.

793
00:28:19,940 --> 00:28:21,315
Oh, yes, yes, uh, well,

794
00:28:21,357 --> 00:28:23,276
your testosterone numbers
are off the charts.

795
00:28:23,317 --> 00:28:24,485
(sighs)

796
00:28:24,527 --> 00:28:25,653
Below the charts,
under the charts.

797
00:28:25,695 --> 00:28:27,572
I don't know how to say that.

798
00:28:27,614 --> 00:28:29,282
You have almost
no testosterone at all.

799
00:28:29,323 --> 00:28:31,284
I don't know the exact numbers,
but it's somewhere

800
00:28:31,325 --> 00:28:32,786
in the baby range.

801
00:28:32,827 --> 00:28:35,204
On the plus side,
your estrogen levels are that

802
00:28:35,246 --> 00:28:38,083
of a very healthy woman
in the throes of her menses.

803
00:28:38,124 --> 00:28:39,960
May I see my results?

804
00:28:40,001 --> 00:28:41,753
Ah, I wish you'd asked me
about five minutes ago.

805
00:28:41,795 --> 00:28:43,004
I think I dumped it
with a pot pipe

806
00:28:43,046 --> 00:28:44,338
and a bottle
of cheetah sedative.

807
00:28:44,380 --> 00:28:46,340
Also, the people
at Orange County Imaging

808
00:28:46,382 --> 00:28:49,636
said that you were masturbating
in an MRI tube?

809
00:28:50,553 --> 00:28:51,930
- Oh, no.
- But, Doctor,

810
00:28:51,972 --> 00:28:53,098
you, you told me to.

811
00:28:53,139 --> 00:28:54,265
I did no such thing.

812
00:28:54,307 --> 00:28:55,224
Oh, no.

813
00:28:55,266 --> 00:28:58,227
No, no, you can't do that.

814
00:28:58,269 --> 00:28:59,938
That sounds like something
I would say

815
00:28:59,980 --> 00:29:01,481
when I had my thinking cap on.

816
00:29:01,522 --> 00:29:02,816
(laughs)

817
00:29:02,857 --> 00:29:05,276
You, sir, are a very funny lady.

818
00:29:07,904 --> 00:29:11,407
That's what they always say
to the unattractive one.

819
00:29:11,449 --> 00:29:14,368
NARRATOR: It was finally time
for Herbert Love

820
00:29:14,410 --> 00:29:18,372
to make his speech, when the
party was suddenly ransacked.

821
00:29:18,414 --> 00:29:20,041
Of course, it was Cinco,

822
00:29:20,083 --> 00:29:21,668
so it took a while
for anyone to notice.

823
00:29:21,709 --> 00:29:23,628
It appeared
the Hispanic community had had

824
00:29:23,670 --> 00:29:25,254
enough of Cinco de Cuatro.

825
00:29:25,296 --> 00:29:27,381
- Oh, God, the blowback.
- CROWD: Put up this wall!

826
00:29:27,423 --> 00:29:29,300
But the blowback created
a greater blowback

827
00:29:29,342 --> 00:29:31,970
as the crowd that had gathered
to hear Herbert Love speak

828
00:29:32,012 --> 00:29:33,220
was whipped into a frenzy.

829
00:29:33,262 --> 00:29:35,849
Put up this wall!
Put up this wall!

830
00:29:35,890 --> 00:29:38,559
And that's when George knew
he was in real trouble.

831
00:29:38,601 --> 00:29:40,353
Put up this wall!

832
00:29:40,394 --> 00:29:43,773
Fortunately,
he was able to find a disguise.

833
00:29:43,815 --> 00:29:44,858
(crowd cheering)

834
00:29:46,943 --> 00:29:48,319
Oh, God.

835
00:29:48,361 --> 00:29:51,447
- Unfortunately...
- This feels right.

836
00:29:56,494 --> 00:29:59,039
NARRATOR:
Lindsay surprises Michael

837
00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:01,124
after a long absence
from his life.

838
00:30:01,166 --> 00:30:03,168
Lindsay.

839
00:30:03,209 --> 00:30:04,794
It's been a long time.

840
00:30:04,836 --> 00:30:06,129
I know.

841
00:30:06,171 --> 00:30:09,132
Oh, this is
a little embarrassing.

842
00:30:09,174 --> 00:30:10,675
But I have been meaning
to get down there,

843
00:30:10,717 --> 00:30:12,552
- so let's just...
- You're right,

844
00:30:12,593 --> 00:30:15,555
I mean, it's not like we're
even technically related.

845
00:30:15,596 --> 00:30:19,559
- That's true.
- Okay, well, then, I'll start with a smear.

846
00:30:21,769 --> 00:30:23,563
NARRATOR: And George Sr. gets
more comfortable in hiding.

847
00:30:23,604 --> 00:30:25,023
GEORGE SR.:
Yes?

848
00:30:25,065 --> 00:30:26,941
Uh, Detective Smee,
Orange County Police.

849
00:30:26,983 --> 00:30:28,275
I need to speak with you.

850
00:30:28,317 --> 00:30:31,612
Lucille Austero went missing
last night.

851
00:30:31,654 --> 00:30:33,531
- You mind if we ask you a few questions?
- Oh...!

852
00:30:33,573 --> 00:30:35,408
I-I don't allow men
in my apartment

853
00:30:35,449 --> 00:30:37,294
without my husband present.

854
00:30:37,414 --> 00:30:46,098
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>
Resync for QRUS by gybe

